You become like totally obsessed,
I've been there, I know how it is.
It's like they take over your whole body, your mind and
you want to take it back.
I'm gonna tell you all about that in this video,
so you definitely don't wanna miss this.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and
if you wanna be able to shift the dynamic with narcissists,
you don't want to miss not only this video,
but all the videos that I upload every single day.
I've helped thousands of people personally through my programs,
through my coaching, through my law practice and
I wanna help you too.
I'm over here,
I give you free advice every single day through these videos and
I wanna help you too.
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You know how narcissists take over your mind,
they take over your soul,
you feel depleted, you feel exhausted all the time.
That's why they're called energy vampires,
before I even knew the term energy vampire,
I used to say like a leech, they're like a parasite,
they attach themselves to you, like as if you're a host,
then you become that narcissistic supply to them and
they do, they take over your mind.
You wake up in the middle of the night, you're thinking about it,
you wake up in the morning, you're thinking about it,
you're brushing your teeth, you're thinking about it,
you're walking the dog, you're thinking about it,
you're watching the dishes, you're thinking about it.
How do they do that?
How do narcissists take over your mind?
They do that because they start off with this love bombing,
they come off so charming, so charismatic, so personable and
they make you feel like you’re the most amazing human they ever met,
and they mirror you.
They use these mirroring techniques to make you feel like,
wow, you met this soul mate and you basically feel like,
“Oh my gosh, wow, where has this person been all my life?”
They read you, they read your body language,
they read everything about you,
they're excellent at reading people and
so they become this perfect person for you.
During this idealization phase,
they completely sweep you off your feet and
it's intoxicating, they totally rock your world.
I'm telling you, say it’s business or personal,
I had a narcissistic business partner, and
they flood you with everything at the beginning,
so it takes over every single one of your senses and
so here's the thing, you also were wounded.
You’re an empath and you have dealt with your own traumas,
you also felt like,
“This person sees everything about me, they can love me”,
“I can save them, I can help them”.
So there was a symbiotic relationship that made you believe
that there was something that brought you together.
All of this happens at the beginning of the relationship,
then what happens is they lock you in almost right away.
They wanna get you to whatever the next step is right away,
whether it's business or personal,
“Let's meet the family”, “Let's get married”, “Let's move in together”,
“Let's be business partners”, whatever it is,
then once you're locked in, or they get your feelings locked up,
and they get you attached to them,
now the cold, now it's devalue, now it's ghosting,
now it's I'm not texting you back right away,
now it's devaluing, they start using those tactics, Gaslighting,
word salad, “I didn't say that”,
“That didn't happen that way”,
“What are you talking about?”, this circular conversation.
I have videos on all of these things, word salad, gaslighting,
you definitely wanna check out my videos on all of these things.
If you haven't seen these things,
if you're not familiar with these terms,
definitely check out my videos on these things.
There are studies that have been done on these things.
Robert Sapolsky has done these studies on these things,
he was a Stanford University professor,
he had done these studies on monkeys and
the dopamine effects on your brain,
on the hot and cold, hot and cold and
how you actually become physiologically addicted to people
because just the anticipation they might give you that hit of love bombing
as you become physiologically addicted to them.
That's how they start to take over your mind,
because you might get that hit of love bombing again,
because they future fake you.
“Oh, you're right, I should have done this”,
“Next time I will, I promise you it's gonna be better” and
back to the love bombing, because they draw you back in.
They draw you back in with these promises of Emerald City,
it's gonna be so much better and you think that it is,
just when you think you're gonna go out of it again,
because they know how to get you back in again,
so they condition you, they’re constantly conditioning you.
That's how you end up having them take over your mind,
they take over your spirit, they take over your soul,
so how can you take it back?
You just have to get out of that toxic stew and
and finally break that cycle.
There's a fantastic saying that goes,
“Go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated”,
go where you're celebrated all the time and
start to just put boundaries in place, leave them in place and
make them strict and say,
“I'm not doing this anymore”,
“I'm not going to be in this toxic cycle anymore”,
“I'm gonna stop this conditioning”,
“I see what's happening here”.
So you stop, you start to pivot, you start to turn around,
you start to shift that dynamic,
you start to teach them how to treat you,
by putting boundaries into place and
by starting to have less contact with them,
briefer amounts of time, briefer amounts of contact with them.
Start reinforcing the behavior that you want by saying,
“I'm not allowing you to disrespect me anymore”,
“I'm not allowing you to speak to me like that”,
“I'll have a conversation with you
when you can speak to me in a respectful manner”,
or things like that,
start to show it in your body language
by just reinforcing that you're not going to allow that and
by reading their body language too by the way.
Which I do have a whole video on that as well.
But here's the thing, you have to look at the wiring in your brain and
start rewiring the programming in your brain.
Understand it is your side of the fence that's going to get rewired,
you're not changing what's going on
on the side of the fence of that narcissist,
they will not be changed.
As soon as you can understand that,
things will get so much better for you because they will not change.
You are the one that's going to have to change and
your response to them.
The faster you can understand they're not regular reasonable people,
they're not going to act like regular reasonable people,
because they're not regular reasonable people and
still don't expect them to act like regular reasonable people.
The faster that you can understand that,
the faster that you can help yourself and protect yourself,
and so just start to work on your side of the fence,
start taking care of yourself, start protecting yourself.
I have a whole video on self care,
definitely start with the self care,
understand that you deserve so much more,
you're probably way smarter than you think,
I know that you are.
The fact that you're here,
the fact that you discovered these videos,
means that the shift is starting to take place.
That is amazing.
Give yourself a whole lot more credit than you probably have so far,
you deserve so much more than you have so far and
understand that you are enough, you are enough.
So start to see those open doors,
start to feel that power inside of you.
To start to feel that right now,
start to feel that power right now and
start to understand you just have to rewire your side of the brain,
start to take over.
Start to retake your brain back and
recondition your brain away from that narcissist.
By putting boundaries in place,
have briefer and briefer contact with them and
just start to see them for who they are,
which is toddlers in adult bodies.
So make sure you have subscribed to this channel,
hit that notification bell.
Make sure join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”,
we have a huge support group in there,
you definitely wanna do that.
Grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com, by the way.
If you need extra support,
and you don't have a place to get extra support,
as far as therapy is concerned,
I am supported by BetterHelp.com.
I only recommend services that we trust,
but I wanna make sure you get access to help and support you need,
that's BetterHelp.com/RebeccaZung.
So thanks so much for tuning into this video,
that's how narcissists take over your brain and your mind and
that's how you can also it back.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life,
it's never too late,
I will definitely see you in the next video.