Film Courage: I’m not sure if you’re okay talking about this but did you go through
a period of time where you were not able to pay your bills being a cinematographer?
Andy Rydzewski, Cinematographer: I’m happy to discuss that, yes.
I’ve been in Los Angeles for 15 years (something like that) and I’ve been broke for probably
11 of them, 10…something like that?
Problematically broke for five, six years and I feel very lucky.
This is one of the things that I am always very thankful for is that I always knew that
I wanted to be involved in filmmaking or at least from a very young age.
I didn’t know if it was realistic.
My mother wanted me to be a doctor.
My whole family are doctors except for me.
But I just loved it so much…filmmaking…the idea of it and any little taste I got.
I slept in my car…my last semester of undergrad I slept in my car.
I went to the gym in the morning to shower.
I never felt…it kind of felt romantic.
I never felt like I was sacrificing even though I guess I was, it didn’t feel that way because
I was pursuing this kind of weird dream and it always and money…I will say it’s tricky
if you’re raising a family and all of that but for me it has always served me well to
ignore money in the jobs I pursue and all of that.
I have friends who are doing well in let’s say the commercial world or the corporate
world in terms of filmmaking and they will tell me that they are envious of me because
I’ve shot some features and TV shows but then something will come their way some low-budget
feature and they will say no because of the pay is no good.
But then they get frustrated that they are not getting a feature but they just want…and
narrative pays worse than commercials.
That is generally the rule and for me ignoring the money and just chasing the project or
the director has served me very well.
Some of the best, some of the jobs you know I think about the last show I shot which was
PEN15 a Hulu series and that director worked together on multiple projects.
We shot a series before for Seeso which is a defunct streaming service and we shot a
web series for I think it was three days or four days of shooting.
I think I got paid $100.00 and I worked my tail off and still to this day it’s one
of my favorite things that I shot.
I believe for him he got his manager from that.
He had a screening, it went very well.
It kind of kicked things off for him and at the time when he asked me to do it I did hesitate.
I was like “Well…okay.
It barely pays.”
Like it’s barely paying me anything and then I did it and I loved it!
I loved the project.
I love everybody involved.
A lot of those people are doing well these days and it’s a piece of my community in
Los Angeles came from that tiny webseries so for me…and we will see now.
We are in a pandemic as we speak and I haven’t worked in months and I was okay with it for
a time and now the anxiety is starting to creep in but you know I’ve been freelance
for 15 years and I am used to all manner of ups and downs and I keep my overhead low so
that I don’t have to chase money I guess…yes.
Film Courage: Were you actively looking for jobs or because so much of the film industry
just completely shut down…?
Andy: So yes now at this point the only thing that I have done to be proactive really is
I am not really active with social media and I realize that for my job I probably should,
I should make that a higher priority and I do have friends who are really good with Instagram
specifically and I realize that it has the potential to be a good tool for finding work
and so I am now trying to treat it a little more seriously and trying to create posts
that I would like to see.
Maybe a little educational or a behind the scenes or how did you light this or why is
the color palette this?
That kind of thing so I am trying to now just so I feel proactive because I don’t really
know what else I can be doing to find work.
I’ve built a decent network over the years.
I have a reputation that I am proud of but when people aren’t calling I’m genuinely
not sure of what one does and I am learning.
I’m trying to figure it out.
I’m talking to different people and seeing what they think and just kind of trusting
that something will come.
The last show I shot did well in terms of its reviews and finding an audience so I am
hoping that that might put my name on some lists but the truth is so much of this is
a crapshoot.
I really don’t know how to find work even when a decade ago I woke up every day and
I would start on Craigslist and Mandy (dot) com was a thing but I was trying to do that
the other day I was like curious if people were posting jobs during all of this.
But I have never been sure how to find work.
It’s never made sense to me.
But I have been okay at building relationships and not in an aggressive networking way I
don’t think.
It’s mostly I’m a big film nerd and I end up bonding with people who are also film
nerds and the directors who I have bonded with, it tends to be somebody who I met somewhere
and we just got to talking about some movie that we saw and then it snowballs and you’re
like “Have you ever seen this movie?”
And just the excitement of it and I think that is one of the arguments for being in
Los Angeles is you are around other people who are chasing the same dream and a lot of
them you will find people who are nerdy in the same way you’re nerdy and then you bond
and then going back to what I was saying earlier about how you are on set that often starts
way before.
It could be a job interview but ideally it’s a social setting.
You are meeting a friend of a friend of a friend at somebody’s birthday and you are
like “Oh?
I really liked that person.
What do they do?
Oh…cinematographer.
Well you know we have this thing coming up.”
I think that how a lot of Los Angeles connections get made and I think that was the downside
of going to such a small school is that I came to LA with zero connections and I think
that people who got to USC for instance which is way more expensive so it has that downside
but I think you are meeting people who are going to be in the industry for the next decade
at least and I think that gives you a real head start in a lot of ways and now I don’t
know in terms of film education or the debt and all of that.
I don’t know the pros and cons but I think yes meeting people which again in a pandemic
is tricky.
I have no idea how I am going to meet people but again there are film groups that are meeting
on zoom and I should maybe try to be more proactive about that and doing something like
this.
Who knows?
Who knows who will see the interview and be like “Hey!
That guy.”
Film Courage: “I like him!
I want to meditate in my car with him.”
Andy: Exactly, right!
So you never know but I’ve never been good at how to get work, how to summon work.
It’s definitely one of the, I’m fond of saying this but I think it’s true, I am
bad at the business side of the business.
Film Courage: I see a lot of true artists are that way.
Andy: Yes, I have a lot of musician friends and some of the best ones are terrible at
every other part of life so yes, I don’t know what one does with that but you just
kind of trust and I think the fact that I’ve been freelance for so long and I’ve gone
through such lean times it prepares you for future lean times.
So far I feel okay.
I think I told myself I’m allowed to get anxious next March.
One year, at the one year anniversary if I still have no work then I am allowed to start
getting a little anxious.
Film Courage: 2021?
Andy: 2021.
I’m a little ahead of schedule.
I got anxious for the first time a week or two ago, I’ve got to…that is not part
of the deal so I’ve got to keep my…because I know as soon as I end up on set and I am
on week four and I’m exhausted I’m going to be like “Ahhh!
Remember when it was a pandemic and I could just sleep whenever I wanted?”
So I will be wishing for this downtime.
Film Courage: Well if we go back to 1918, was it the Spanish Flu?
So was that two years if we look at the chart?
I’m not really sure but if we think about medical advances are far greater now than
then and there is the whole thing does anyone want to take a vaccine?
We won’t go down that slippery slope but when you were talking about 2009 and The [Los
Angeles] Station Fire and all of that was tragic.
We probably thought we’d never see anything like that in our lifetime again and now you
add a bad economy to a communicable disease (sorry I can’t even say the word) so there
are new variables that we’ve never really been in this situation before.
Andy: I will say I think that is always on the table.
I think you know that life is change and as soon as you think you have stability and a
predictability to your life I think something is going to shake it up and that could be
the fire speaking but that is how certainly I try not to take anything for granted or
assume.
I think also the film industry in and of itself the number of projects that I was getting
ready to shoot that just fell through, I mean it’s innumerable.
I was supposed to be shooting a feature this summer that I was really excited about.
I had three features lined up this year and poof you know.
But just in normal times that still happens so I think being prepared for instability
in this industry is really important and weighing if that is worth it.
I’m lucky, I don’t have a wife and kids and so my anxiety, any anxiety that arises
is just for me.
I would imagine that for somebody with a family you have to provide for, that’s…I don’t
see how that couldn’t raise your stress.
You know our industry is pretty cruel.
It chews you up.
It spits you out.
There is always somebody behind you in line so I don’t know.
I think that is why you’ve really got to love it because otherwise I do not recommend
getting into this industry and I’m lucky because I do love it.
I love it very purely so now we’ll see how long that lasts.
I’m sure one morning I will wake up and be like “Hmmm, I’m going to go see if
there is work at the gas station.”
Who knows?
Film Courage: Or you said you love ventriloquism and things like that.
You never know, you might make a line of these puppets?
Andy: That’s true.
Film Courage: There are new things that can happen and sometimes we don’t even know
what are interests are.
Andy: That’s true, you never know and again I try to be open to all those things.
Life is change and it’s all an adventure and tick-tock.
Who knows how much time you’ve got left?
I think being open to any other experiences, any other paths that reveal themselves in
life like I don’t know, take it.
Why not?
What the heck.
I’m always open to anything that might come down the pike.
If I respond to it, that’s all I need and then I will follow that.
Film Courage: When you look back at those times when you were trying to find work and
they were lean times, did you lose faith in yourself?
Did you ever say “You know what, I should have done pre-med?”
Andy: Hmm…I think in my leaner times there were certainly doubts that came up like is
this plausible.
I mean the truth is I still wonder can I do this for another 10, 20, 30, 40 years and
I genuinely don’t know.
So I think there have been doubts in terms of is this a lifestyle that I want to continue
pursuing, that is probably the bigger one.
I had a year 2017 which was my first really busy year and I shot…I can’t remember…it
was like 30, 40 episodes of half hour various shows, half hour TV.
It was just I went from one show to the next to the next.
I spent six or seven months in other states shooting and it was good obviously to be shooting.
I was so exhausted by the end of the year that I felt really burnt out and I got freaked
out.
I was like “Oh no.
Can I not do this anymore?”
And it took me two months to recover just sleeping basically for two months, I’ve
seen friends for the first time in a year and it was the first time where I got scared
of what can happen in this industry on the flip side.
I was used to being broke and not having work and that brought its own anxiety and then
doing 13-hours days for a full year just ground me down mentally and physically and so now
when I have the luxury of choosing jobs I now pay attention who am I working with?
Is this really something that I feel a pull toward?
And trying to weigh pros and cons of everything because I really don’t know.
I really am scared of this industry.
I’ve watched it take more talented people and spit them out and turn them bitter and
that’s something I am really worried about.
I don’t want that to be the case with me.
I want to make sure that I still love what I am doing for as long as possible.
Part of that is meditation, going for evening walks is like a huge thing.
It calms me down and all that.
When I am working on set on a show, I have a lot of strict rules.
I have dietary rules and sleep rules that I follow really closely because of that one
year.
It was just so intense that it freaked me out.
So taking that experience and combining it with years of being broke and having doubts
but always still just kind of okay, just keep working on your craft and just hope I guess,
hope that something works out.
I don’t know, it’s all scary when I really think about this industry it’s a tough one
to feel good about unfortunately.
I’m hoping I mean who knows this pandemic maybe I’m hoping it will turn into…I’ve
heard some shows are switching to French hours which means instead of a 12 and a half hour
day with a half hour lunch in the middle is you work for 10 hours straight, you don’t
stop for lunch, it’s a walking lunch and I would love that!
To go home 2 hours earlier is definitely worth not sitting down for a half hour for lunch
but it helps your immune system.
We’re learning more about what lack of sleep does to your body and it’s not good.
So I do hope that be it a certain director or a certain studio or whatever it is that
quality of life could maybe move up the list in terms of priorities.
That would be lovely.
I don’t have a lot of faith in that happening but I do hope that there is a way to be doing
this well into my 70’s and still feel like I am taking care of my life.
I don’t know if that is possible you know but one can dream.
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