DO YOU LIKE BEING AN ADULT?
(LAUGHTER) >> UH...
I DO.
I MEAN, IT'S -- IT'S FUN AND EVERYTHING, BUT IT'S ALSO -- IT
IS ALSO SOMETIMES KIND OF A DRAG.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
WHEN I WAS A KID, I DIDN'T -- I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH, BUT THE FACT
THAT THE WORLD WAS SO UNKNOWN MADE IT KIND CAN OF AN EXCITING
MYSTERY, YOU KNOW.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW -- NO, IT'S TRUE, BUT THEN YOU GROW UP AND IT'S,
LIKE, YOU FIND OUT THAT DRIVING ISN'T THAT FUN, AND THAT, YOU
KNOW, THAT SEX ISN'T REAL, IT'S JUST A STORY THEY TELL YOU TO
SCARE YOU, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: YEAH, SPOOKY STUFF.
>> YEAH.
(LAUGHTER) YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, I OFTEN
WISH THERE WAS SOMEWHERE THAT I COULD GO TO SORT OF GET BACK TO
THAT INNOCENCE, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: OH, BUT THERE IS...
THERE IS MY BLANKET FORT.
>> YOU HAVE A BLANKET FORT?
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: YES, I DO.
AND IN THERE, EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE AGAIN.
EVERYTHING YOU KNEW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD IS STILL TRUE IN
THE BLANKET FORT.
(LAUGHTER) >> CAN WE GO THERE?
>> Stephen: WILL...
WE'RE THERE ALREADY!
♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER) >> HEY, WILL...
YEAH, STEVE?
>> Stephen: YOU STILL AWAKE?
YEAH.
>> Stephen: HEY, MAN...
THESE KIDS DOWN THE STREET, THEY TOLD ME THAT GARBAGE MEN LIVE AT
THE DUMP.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> YEAH.
YEAH, I HEARD THAT, TOO.
>> Stephen: YEAH?
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
>> Stephen: WHAT?
ALL TEACHERS LIVE IN THE SCHOOL.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I SAW MY MATH TEACHER AT THE GROCERY STORE.
>> OH, MY GOSH.
DID YOU GET AN AUTOGRAPH?
>> Stephen: NO, I WAS TOO SCARED.
>> HEY, STEVE?
>> Stephen: YEAH, WILL?
ARE YOU STILL AWAKE?
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
DO YOU KNOW THAT -- THAT DOGS AND CATS CAN GET MARRIED?
>> Stephen: YEAH, BUT THE CAT IS ALWAYS THE GIRL AND THE DOG
IS ALWAYS THE BOY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MY COUSIN TOLD ME?
>> Stephen: YOUR COUSIN ALAN?
YEAH, YOU KNOW MY COUSIN -- >> Stephen: YEAH, HE'S THE ONE
WHO GOT HAIR -- DOWN THERE.
(LAUGHTER) >> YEAH.
HE'S GOT FIVE NOW.
>> Stephen: FIVE!
(LAUGHTER) >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HE MUST BE REALLY STRONG.
>> YEAH.
WELL, HE TOLD ME -- >> Stephen: WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE3TOLD ME THAT LADIES HAVE TO GET COMPLETELY NAKED TO PEE.
>> Stephen: WHAT!
(LAUGHTER) ARE THEY NAKED ON THAT COUCH
THEY HAVE IN THEIR BATHROOMS?
>> THEY GOTTA BE.
I MEAN, THEY MUST BE.
>> Stephen: WHY IT'S IN THERE, I BET.
THEY'RE SO TIRED FROM TAKING THEIR CLOTHES OFF TO PEE.
(LAUGHTER) >> YOU KNOW, UM, YOU KNOW, IF
YOU HAD TO, YOU KNOW, LIKE IF I WAS TRAPPED UNDER A CAR OR
SOMETHING, MY DAD COULD LIFT A CAR.
>> Stephen: WHOA!
REALLY?
>> YEAH.
WELL, LIKE A SMART CAR.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: THAT'S STRONG.
YEAH.
HEY, DID YOU KNOW IF YOU KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN WHEN YOU SNEEZE,
YOU DIE?
(LAUGHTER) >> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF YOU SNEEZE WITH YOUR EYES OPEN, YOUR
EYEBALLS POP OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
>> Stephen: YOU WANT ANOTHER?
YEAH.
(LAUGHTER) >> THANKS FOR NOTICING I WAS SO
HUNGRY.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: MMM...
YEAH, YEAH.
>> HEY, STEVE?
>> Stephen: YEAH, WILL.
I GOT A QUESTION FOR YA.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WHY DO ADULTS DRINK ALCOHOL?
IT TASTES SO BAD.
>> Stephen: THEY NEED TO DRINK IT.
OTHERWISE, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO LAUGH.
(APPLAUSE) OR SLEEP.
OR DO SEX.
(LAUGHTER) >> STEVE?
>> Stephen: YEAH?
CAN I TELL YA SOMETHING?
>> Stephen: WILL, YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING.
THIS IS THE BLANKET FORT.
NOTHING EVER LEAVES THE BLANKET FORT.
>> I STOLE A BASEBALL FROM THE HARDWARE STORE.
(AUDIENCE REACTS) >> Stephen: YOU ARE GOING TO
JAIL.
(LAUGHTER) >> I KNOW.
>> Stephen: HEY...
TOMORROW WHEN WE GET UP, DO YOU WANT TO LOOK AT THE NATIONAL
GEOGRAPHICS MY BROTHER KEEPS IN THE BASEMENT?
>> DO THEY HAVE PICTURES OF ERTYING -- DO THEY HAVE PICTURES
OF -- >> Stephen: TIGERS ON EVERY
PAGE!
AWESOME!
(CRYING) OH, STEVE, I'M REALLY GOING TO
MISS YOU IN JAIL!