learn how your words make a difference in the way you think
stay tuned hey this is Damon from NLP gym neuro-linguistic programming is a
mental technology that you can use to create the life you desire for the past
several years I've been learning and studying this technology in order to
create the life I desire and also to help people like you create the life you
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can make the kind of videos that you want to see what I'm going to teach you
is something we all do in fact it's built into language all languages and
that is presupposition now there are NLP presuppositions and I'll get to those in
a moment what I want to explain is really what presuppositions are first
and how you're doing it and how becoming conscious of it can actually change the
way you think by changing what you presuppose now let's start off with
something really really basic and by the way this is not difficult to understand
but it does require that you pay attention so if you're currently
multitasking or doing something like that then please stop what you're doing
and pay attention to this otherwise you're not going to get it or put this
video off to another time where you have more time to give your full attention to
it okay so presuppositions are built into
all sentences so I'm going to use a very basic sentence and when I explain it
you're gonna probably say well of course I know that but it gets a little
trickier so let's use a simple sentence like the boy walked to the store okay so
very simple sentence not many people are gonna misinterpret that you probably
imagine a boy walking to a store think about though all the other things in
what you imagined that I did not tell you okay and then also pay attention to
what did you presuppose about that sentence okay so when I say boy we
presuppose gender boy as opposed to a girl okay
again you're probably saying of course I know that you know what's important
there I'll get to that and then we presuppose that the boy is
probably relatively healthy and able-bodied if he was able to walk to
the store but I never said that would you probably presuppose that some
of you are very visual and when you're very visual you probably saw a movie of
this and when you if you saw a movie of it what other details did you add into
it like when I said it I actually
envisioned a boy walking to a store very much in a town like I live in so not a
city but a town now if you live in a city you might have seen the boy walking
to a store in a city you added that extra detail that I did not tell you but
you presupposed it okay so that's a very basic that's very simple but think about
all the other things that you presuppose now give you an example as a parent how
we might use this with our kids and I in a way that doesn't really elicit the
response that we want if I ask my daughter when are you going to start
picking up after yourself I just presupposed that my daughter never picks
up after herself so I'm not honoring the times that she picked up after herself
I'm presupposing that she never did and never has what does that communicate to
her she probably is thinking well what is the point because when I do pick up
after myself it goes unacknowledged so I would ask
her maybe when are you going to pick up after yourself today so I'm pretty
simple I'm bringing it to more the present we also speak sentences in our
mind you've probably caught yourself talking to yourself a lot of times this
is unconscious and a lot of times even the images in the movies in our minds or
unconscious NLP is a lot about bringing that into consciousness so that we can
alter it so what might you be communicating
to yourself if you're using presuppositions that limit you then
you're limiting your thinking limiting your thinking will limit what you
believe is possible and that will definitely affect your behavior the idea
here is not to get rid of presupposition you're not going to be able to get rid
of presupposition we naturally do it all the time
words themselves or presuppositions a sentence is a string of presuppositions
making a larger more general presupposition and then you can go on to
a paragraph a story all those things so don't try to stop presupposing things
what you want to do is become aware of how you're presupposing so that you can
check in and say to yourself is this presupposition limiting me or is it
empowering me now this will take some practice the more you do it though the
more you will naturally start to gravitate in that direction you will
naturally start to speak differently you will naturally use different words when
you're thinking about it just to yourself and your mind and that will
alter your thoughts your thoughts your thoughts being altered will alter your
actions it will also alter your beliefs the more you think in terms of
possibility rather than scarcity using presupposition the more you're going to
break down beliefs that are limiting you and start creating new beliefs that are
empowering you and give you more insight and understanding into what's going to
serve you rather than limit you what actually inspired this video was I was
talking to a friend of mine and she's very young and she texted me something
that I was asking her more and more questions and was demonstrating how NLP
works and when it was going deeper and deeper with her questions and then I
started to notice certain presuppositions and I started explaining
this to her and she had never come across this before and she thought she
was being very positive and very open to opportunity and for the most part she is
but she was using a few little presuppositions in there that was a will
effect the way that she thinks and then later how she might act so I started
pointing this out to her so I'm actually going to use her
to go over this as an example of what I mean it's basically she's what she
enjoys others appreciating her and of course we all do so this there's nothing
nothing wrong with this and there's nothing negative about this she does get
to a point though where she says my self-esteem would reach a very high
level which is exciting and I want to feel that I change and leave something
relevant on this earth even if it's on a small scale okay so we all enjoy being
acknowledged and being appreciated and does that affect our self-esteem
it does but there's something very very important what's happening here and that
is and I did another video on this I'll link it to this one about locus of
control locus of control is basically where do you put your authority or where
do you place Authority do you place it inside yourself
whereas ultimately you're the authority of your own life and what you like what
you don't like if you're a good or bad person or do you put it outside of
yourself ultimately no matter where you place it
you are the own authority and in your life because if you place you that
authority outside of yourself it's still you doing it what I want to get her to
understand is that she should first validate herself rather than look for
validation outside of herself or look to build her self-esteem that's ultimately
the presupposition here that that caught my attention that she's looking to build
her self-esteem by other esteem and that's a phrase that Steve andreas
coined other esteem when you're looking for self-esteem outside of yourself what
you're actually looking for is not self-esteem so presupposed and here is
that self-esteem comes externally or that the self-esteem she wants comes
externally now there's a big problem with this if your self-esteem is you get
externally then you're not quite in control of it because you've probably
had the same situation before where you do something to please someone and it
doesn't work it doesn't please them or it pleases them momentarily and then
they say okay well what more do you have and then that
person starts leaning on you to get more and more and in order to maintain that
self-esteem or what you think is self-esteem you keep trying to please
that person so self-esteem or validation when sought outside of yourself is
always going to create a lot of insecurity because you're not completely
in control of it but if you know what fulfills you if you know what your
criteria is for who you want to be then you put that authority within yourself
now I was able to recognize this just by her language and I catch myself a lot of
times too I'm not perfect here I catch myself a lot and I have I surround
myself with people not all of them know NLP but a lot of them are very aware and
sometimes it'll catch me saying something and they say okay do you
realize what you're presupposing there and I have to go okay you're right and
then I will immediately change the words so that they don't presuppose a
limitation or presuppose something that's going to create a problem later
and in this case if she continues to seek validation outside of herself this
will create a problem one of my students who's talking about the training
transforming yourself one of my online trainings and I was going live on our
private Facebook group she writes it's not so much doing it so
well as having so much to work on that the second time through the training is
taking time and now the precision advice this was the advice I was giving them to
get very precise and now the precision advice will make that more intense at
the moment I'm finding that I think I've changed things congruently and then
after a couple of days behavior and changes slip back so I go back and find
more drilling into the positive intent is needed okay and I actually pointed
this out to her while I was going live that her language here presupposes a lot
of struggle frustration and trouble so when she's saying as having so much work
on that the second time through the training is taking time and now the
precision advice which is the advice I was giving everyone will make that more
intense now intensity alone doesn't mean good or bad intent scan complete
suppose just intensity without having a negative or a positive connotation but
what follows leads me to believe that this is not a good intensity
she writes at the moment I'm finding that I think I've changed things
congruently and then after a couple of days behavior and changes slip back so
this idea that any change I'm making slips back and well if it's a real
change and it's congruent it won't slip back so something else is going on here
but just presupposing that changes will slip back it's likely to make that
continue to happen and she writes so I go back and find more drilling into the
positive intent as needed and that we're drilling does not sound very positive
here it sounds maybe even a little bit painful so I call this to her attention
I said hey let's you know let's change up your words let's make this less
painful second thing we went through the whole thing we reframed it as in like
the intensity is good intensity and it's about learning not drilling it's about
getting this embodying this rather than you know the drilling and the intensity
and the slipping back I said you know instead of slipping back it's just your
fine-tuning you sometimes make a change and you realize there's more to be done
so you just go back and fine-tune so fine-tune sounds a lot better than slip
back the great thing about presuppositions is you can recognize
them in any sentences it's it it might be a little bit difficult to do at first
if you're not used to trying this out but give it a try just look at a
sentence and just ask yourself what does this presuppose now a lot of times
people go right into their heads with this I try to analyze it it's not about
analyzing the easiest way to do this is as you read a sentence notice what goes
on internally for you a lot of us are visual but especially in different
countries in different cultures is a lot of auditory people so a lot of us are
going to see a movie of whatever it is we're reading some of us might hear
something and sometimes people even hear music or it might make you feel
something and I don't mean the evaluative feeling I mean like in your
body feeling or tactile or you know that touch feeling so when you read a
sentence just knows notice what goes on in your
internal experience and those are all the clues you need to understand what it is
you're presupposing from reading the sentence now there is a presuppositions
built into the sentence there's also presuppositions you're
going to make I know it starts to sound complicated it's really not though it's
what are you assuming or what is the sentence assuming and what are you
assuming and then you can start become more to become more and more awareness
now when you first start you don't need to question everything you don't need to
like try to break down every word every sentence just start noticing what's
presupposed and just in that noticing you will start to naturally change
because you'll start to notice that sometimes you're presupposing something
that's not serving you very well and when you notice that you will naturally
start to make changes now you might get stuck and you might go well you know I
get that I'm presupposing this but I don't know how to reframe it sometimes
it takes a little more practice and sometimes if you're feeling stuck it
might be due to something else there might be another part of you that's
resisting that change and if that's happening then there's other tools and
techniques to overcome resistance in fact I just recently did a video on that
as well check that video out and you'll get to see how to overcome those
resistances so and that's not just for presuppositions that can be anything now
NLP has its own set of presuppositions they're not beliefs a lot of times
people say oh well you know they're really just beliefs no they're really
not okay so what's the difference so presuppositions in NLP are things like
there's no such thing as failure only feedback and another presupposition
would be the meaning of a communication is the response it gets and that just
basically it makes you very responsible for the meanings you're putting out
there not just the intent because a lot of times we say well that's not what I
meant for that person to respond to art and I didn't mean it for that person to
take it that way but when we take responsibility for that meaning we
become better communicators there's no such thing as failure only feedback that
makes us makes it so that we don't get stuck in failure failure is just a
learning process so it's just feedback it's not failure
when you apply these presuppositions to the way that you think it will
immediately change the way that you think and you start practicing applying
that in your life so here's a great example if you and you can look up the
NLP presuppositions they're very easy to find just google it just search
for it you'll find there's many I think there's up to 30 we tend to focus on it
like 10 or 12 but I think there's up to 30 of them and you can just start
looking at them and saying okay well where's the situation in my life that I
want to work on and what happens when I apply this presupposition to that
situation sometimes it's almost like magic you will suddenly change the way
that you think about that situation and suddenly you'll have so many more
resources and sometimes the problem can solve itself right then and there check
out my website in NLP-Gym.com there you will find some free NLP training as
well as some free hypnotic inductions that you can download straight to your
phone straight to your iPad or to your computer and you just kick back listen
to my voice and I will guide you hypnotically into greater confidence
also check me out on Facebook I usually do real-time updates on what I'm up to
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