When you see �Final Fantasy� in the title, you can expect certain things.
Moogles, chocobos, bombs, airships, a dude named Cid, the usual litany.
What you don�t always expect is beach-platform ass-sumo.
As a minigame.
I�ve been wrangling with my feelings on Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal
Bearers for some time now, and here�s what I think: despite being in no way whatsoever
an RPG - let�s get that out of the way first, this is an action game full of quicktime events
and waggle and other eldritch machinations - this feels like a drastic change of pace,
funny enough, right around the height of the �Japan is Over� sentiment.
And while this game�s execution is kinda flawed in places, particularly where targeting
and camera are concerned...
I have to admit, I like this world they�ve crafted.
You�ve still got the boilerplate four-tribes Crystal Chronicles concept, only now there�s
trains and televisions and a delightful lack of annoying verbal tics and Lilties are no
longer the Tarutaru-esque midgets they once were.
TJ�s Lessons for not-quite-RPG Dumbasses, chapter whatever: When a cute girl offers
to buy you tea, even if she�s from outside of your species, and EVEN if you were very
recently terrorized by her pet ferret, you sit your ass down in that chair and drink
your goddamn TEA!
Or stand there.
This particular dumbass, the star of our story, is the Crystal Bearer Layle, a kid endowed
with incredible, arcane, powers of telekinesis, which means of course he�s on the run from
the law.
After a chance encounter with one of the last remaining Yukes - not youths, for a change
- who appears to be up to no good, Layle finds himself attempting to thwart a resurrection,
using the power of throwing crap into other crap.
Seriously, that�s all he�s got.
No oversized sword, no gunblade, just whatever�s on hand: rocks, cacti, fungi, other enemies.
Clear the area quickly enough and you can earn another segment of your health bar, in
case you didn�t think this felt Legend of Zelda-ish enough.
Yeah.
Doesn�t look like any Final Fantasy I�ve ever played, either.
But then again, perhaps I was just so disappointed in Ring of Fates that I needed anything else.
Despite some hang-ups with the point-and-waggle-intensive controls, though, Crystal Bearers felt...
liberating, I guess is the word.
The gameplay can vary wildly between action platforming, beating up monsters, tinkering
together new equipment, and stealthing your way through a train car on lockdown.
Through it all, you�re being hounded by - or stalking, one or the other - a mischievous
Selkie named Belle, who I swear I�ve heard somewhere before...
Anyway, it�s all the adventure of a Final Fantasy, just without the number-fixated gameplay
or stat micromanagement.
So, wait, isn�t this what everyone was clamoring for?
A non-RPG that could live up to its notorious name?
Well, maybe folks wanted that stat micromanagement.
Maybe folks wanted a main character who was a bit more energetic than Trent Lane.
Maybe folks wanted control that wasn�t dependent on holding a cursor over a target (while bouncing
around in a Chocobo-drawn carriage) or whose combat was a little more elaborate than �Throw
crap at crap.� It starts off as a cool idea, but can quickly turn repetitive since, unlike
most RPGs, you can�t really break your damage output.
Maybe folks were nervous, thinking Belle was gonna call them �Sempai� and wouldn�t
that be confusing.
Maybe they wanted an actual Final Fantasy game, instead of this well-meaning yet very,
very different substance.
Eh, more for me.
I�m fine with action-adventure with Moogles and crystals and Cid, especially with the
intense focus on comedic timing that Crystal Bearers provides.
Isn�t that right, dude-whose-cart-just-got-absconded-with?