FOLKS, WE'RE JUST PAST HALLOWEEN, WHICH MEANS WE'RE
ABOUT TO ENTER THE MAGICAL SEASON OF GETTING ANGRY THAT
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
JIM?
>> STARBUCKS IS STIRRING UP CONTROVERSY OVER ITS PLAIN RED
CUPS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
>> SOME EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS ARE VERY UPSET THAT THE COFFEE
GIANT IS DOING AWAY WITH SYMBOLS OF THE SEASON, LIKE THE
SNOWFLAKES, THE SNOWMEN, AND THE OTHER KIND OF ORNAMENTS.
>> Stephen: YES, THEY GOT RID OF THE CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS
LIKE SNOWFLAKES AND SNOWMEN.
( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, I THINK WE ALL REMEMBER
THE STORY OF WHEN BABY JESUS WAS VISITED BY THE THREE WISE
FROSTYS.
( LAUGHTER ) ♪ OH, JINGLE JESUS, JINGLE JESUS
LYING IN A MANGER ♪ HO, HO, HO, AND FRANKINCENSE
AND MYRRH AND PUMPKIN SPICE, HEY ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I COULD GO FOR A MYRRH LATTE.
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME OF YEAR THEY MAKE THEM.
SADLY, THE THREE WISE SNOWMEN DID NOT LAST LONG IN THE DESERT.
( APPLAUSE ) AND-- AND.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
CLAPPING.
THEY MELTED.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE CLAPPING.
AND I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE MIGHT BE ALL FROTHED UP-- NOW
STARBUCKS IS COMPLETELY DEVOID OF ANY TRACE OF THE HOLIDAY
BESIDES THE CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS, ADVENT CALENDARS, CDs
CHRISTMAS MUSIC, CHRISTMAS-THEMED GIFT CARDS,
CHRISTMAS COOKIES, AND GIANT DISPLAYS OF THEIR CHRISTMAS
BLEND COFFEE.
THIS IS NICE.
THIS IS KIND OF COMFY.
I KIND OF LIKE IT IN HERE.
AND NOW SOME STARBUCKS CUSTOMERS ARE DISAPPOINTED THAT INSTEAD OF
AN ULTRA CHRISTMAS-Y CUP, THEY'RE GETTING-- THEY'RE
GETTING ONE OF THESE, OKAY.
I MEAN, LOOK, IT'S JUST RED AND GREEN, RIGHT THERE, JUST RED AND
GREEN.
WHICH COULD OBVIOUSLY REPRESENT ANYTHING-- DIFFERENT
KINDS OF BELL PEPPERS, TWO- THIRDS OF A STOPLIGHT, A FROG
THAT WAS RUN OVER BY A BUS-- ANYTHING.
( LAUGHTER ) I KNOW, IT'S SAD.
I KNOW, IT'S SAD.
I AGREE!
BUT STARBUCKS DEFENDS THE NEW DESIGN SAYING, "STARBUCKS IS
INVITING OUR CUSTOMERS TO TELL THEIR CHRISTMAS STORIES IN THEIR
OWN WAY WITH A RED CUP THAT MIMICS A BLANK CANVAS, INVITING
OUR CUSTOMERS TO CREATE THEIR OWN STORIES ON OUR CUPS."
ONE POPULAR STORY: ONCE UPON A TIME, MY NAME IS STEPHEN.
WHY DOES IT SAY DAVID?
SO ONE ANGRY CHRISTIAN TOOK TO THE INTERNET TO VENTI HIS RAGE
AND OFFER A WAY TO STRIKE BACK.
>> DO YOU REALIZE THAT STARBUCKS WANTED TO TAKE CHRIST AND
CHRISTMAS OFF OF THEIR BRAND NEW CUPS?
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE JUST PLAIN RED.
IN FACT, DO YOU REALIZE THAT STARBUCKS ISN'T ALLOWED TO SAY
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" TO ITS CUSTOMERS?
WELL, I DECIDED INSTEAD OF SIMPLY BOYCOTTING, WELL, WHY
DON'T WE JUST START A MOVEMENT.
SO WHEN I WENT IN, I ASKED FOR MY COFFEE AND THEY ASKED FOR MY
NAME, AND I TOLD THEM MY NAME IS 'MERRY CHRISTMAS.'
SO GUESS WHAT, STARBUCKS?
I TRICKED YOU INTO PUTTING MERRY CHRISTMAS ON YOUR CUP, AND I'M
CHALLENGING ALL GREAT AMERICANS AND CHRISTIANS AROUND THIS GREAT
NATION, GO INTO STARBUCKS AND TAKE YOUR OWN COFFEE SELFIE."
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, PAUL BLART MALL BRO IS RIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND BASED ON HOW FAST HE'S
TALKING, I'M GUESSING THAT'S NOT THE FIRST CUP OF COFFEE OF THE
DAY.
IT'S A BRILLIANT MOVE: WHAT BETTER WAY TO STICK IT TO
STARBUCKS THAN BY TELLING EVERYONE TO GO IN AND BUY THEIR
PRODUCT?
SCORCH.
AND, REMEMBER, STARBUCKS, CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON FOR
GIVING...
IN TO ANY DEMAND ANYONE MAKES ON THE INTERNET.
WHICH IS WHY I SAY, DON'T FIGHT THIS.
GIVE THE CUSTOMERS A CUP CRAMMED SO FULL OF CHRISTMAS
THEY'LL BE PICKING TINSEL OUT OF THEIR YULE-LOGS FOR MONTHS.
SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT LIKE THIS.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.
THIS IS IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LOOK AT THAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, THIS IS A CHRISTMAS CUP.
THAT IS A CHRISTMAS CUP, STARBUCKS.
IT'S GOT ORNAMENTS AND AN ENTIRE MANGER SCENE HOT GLUED TO THE
LID.
AND YOU JUST HIT THIS LITTLE BUTTON ON THE BACK.
( BARKING ) OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S HANDEL'S
MESSIAH SUNG BY THE BARKING CHRISTMAS DOGS!
OKAY, THIS IS PRETTY CHRISTMAS-Y, BUT IT'S STILL
MISSING A LITTLE SOMETHING-- LIKE, SAY, AN ENTIRE CHRISTMAS
TREE!
ALL RIGHT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MMMM.
MMM.
OH!
WHAT A FESTIVE WAY TO START MY DAY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BEST PART IS, ONCE IT FALLS OFF
THE TOP OF THE TREE, YOU'LL BE COVERED IN BRIGHT RED CHRISTMAS
BURNS.