Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I hope that you are well and I hope you are fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for.
Today, yet again, new location.
I am in Rangataua right now, which is kind of the middle of nowhere.
The town is like one street long with just a few ski lodge houses.
If you look out the window-
I don't know if you can see but...
It's a pretty mountain. That's Mt. Ruapehu.
We just hopped here for the night on the way to Taupo from Wellington.
So it's very pretty, very cold.
My car is frozen right now and I have to drive an hour and a half to Taupo soon, so...
Gotta defrost that car.
If you want to see some travel vlogs and keep up to date with my travelling, which still has a couple months left,
Then you can join my Patreon!
A couple of the top tiers will get travel vlogs and updates and things like that.
So, if you are interested in that then that would be super cool. Super appreciated if you want to join.
Anyway! Today's video is another fun one,
Where we're looking at some messages that men send to women.
Which are always... something.
They're something, to say the very least. They're something.
So, we're gonna be looking at that.
Yeah! So buckle up, let's have a good time.
Before I get into it, I would just like to say that today's video is, of course, sponsored by LELO, one of my absolute favourites.
And I will tell you more about that a little bit later on.
Alright! Let's get on to it! Let's start with the first one.
Imagine that being your first message.
Men are so weird. So weird.
That's such a strange thing to say.
I always question this sort of stuff. Like, what do you think is going to happen?
How do these people think this is like, a good first thing to say?
Like, a good opener?
Like, "You remind me of someone I used to have sex with, that's pretty hot."
Bro!??!
That's not gonna get you a reply.
I'm assuming hair is meant to finish that sentence.
It won't.
I promise you, it won't spark any interest.
Oh my god. It's gotten really hot in here, the heater is turned up way too high.
I'm gonna go turn it off.
I promise it won't spark a conversation.
It won't spark interest.
It'll just be her being like...
"Okay? What? The f_ck?"
I love the whole like, "I don't really care about you. I don't really find you attractive."
"I'm not like the other guys, so surely you like me because I don't like you."
Like, why do you think you being like, "I'm not really that attracted to you" is gonna spark a conversation?
Especially when you're like, "I'm attracted to you when you look this specific way, but when you don't I'm just kind of like, meh."
"But also I wanna f_ck."
It's not gonna go well for you. You're not going to get an answer.
Why do these people think that this is going to work?
It's also so funny because these are the same people who like,
They'll send these messages and then be like, "Why do girls not like me?!"
"Women are so shallow, they only care about looks."
"They never talk to me. I'm such a nice guy, why do I get ignored? I never say anything wrong!"
Like, bro? You don't know how to talk to women.
Like this isn't going to work.
Maybe start with a "Hi! How are you? You seem cool, I'd love to get to know you better."
Not like, "Guys will objectify you, but I'm different, I don't objectify you. Let's f_ck."
Because that is what- this is effectively what you're saying.
Bad energy. Bad vibes. Red flags. It's not gonna work.
Change your attitude. Change your approach.
I hope this advice helped.
What?
What did I just read?
What possesses you to say this sh_t to people? That's so odd.
These people are so odd.
I couldn't even imagine having this thought,
Let alone writing it down, reading it back, and then sending it to someone as though it's a good idea.
Again, especially as a first message.
No one's gonna respond to that.
I mean, maybe they will, they definitely did giggle at it.
They definitely giggled at it.
But like not in a "LOL, this guy's funny, I want to pursue something with him"
As a "LOL, this guy's a f_cking idiot, what the f_ck? Why did he think this would work?"
You know? Like, it's not the kind of laugh you're going for.
You've really got to go for a different approach.
And maybe don't start the conversation with how you want to drown in her cleavage.
That's so weird.
It is creative, though. I will give it points for creativity.
Like, I have no interest in seeing you, but like, thanks for the laugh.
I think it's like that with a lot of these messages these men send.
Like, I talk about them here because it is so funny to think that they think this is going to be effective and getting them a date.
It's hilarious that they think it'll work.
Because in what world would that work?
In the spirit of bad interactions on dating apps,
I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about today's sponsor, Tiani Duo by LELO.
This month, May, which we're at the very end of now,
Is Masturbation May, fun fact.
I bet you didn't know that.
But now you do! And so it's a good way to...
Keep yourself busy, entertained, and pleased, while trying to find actual good partners on dating apps.
Which can be very difficult and very unsatisfying when you find someone.
Especially if you're looking for men, no offense men.
Except full offense.
Out of all the Tinder dates that I've gone out on...
Maybe a two or three have been good.
And you don't know out of how many.
But that's not a high percentage of good.
So, you know, why not invest in something that is good?
And that is you. Invest in yourself.
Tiani Duo is really great. It's really cool, I really love this type of product.
Half of it is g-spot stimulation and the other half is external clitoral stimulation,
And it comes with a remote so you don't need to be like fiddling and looking for buttons which can be a bit annoying on some toys.
You can just put it in and then you don't have to use your hands.
You got this- this little remote, which so convenient, so great, so helpful not having to hold anything in place.
Oh, fantastic. 10 out of 10. We love that.
And the great thing about this as well is the diversity with it.
So you can be using this and still have penetration for it to be like deeper,
Plus it vibrates! You know, that adds a little bit extra.
So you can use penetration on your own with a different toy, or you could use it with a partner.
Maybe you did get a successful Tinder hookup.\
Impressive, I applaud you, good job.
I hope you found someone who is open to using toys and doesn't feel threatened by them, because that's a problem, different issue.
Toys aren't your competitor, they are your friend.
And something like this is great for both partners, whether that be...
Another vulva person, in which case, you know, vibration patterns are gonna feel good for everyone.
Or a penis person, because penetration still works and also again vibration patterns are gonna feel good for everyone involved.
And you can change the mode, does different patterns, and you can change the intensity,
So you can find something that works for both of you.
But also, yeah, it's great to have something like this for your alone time.
You can figure out what's gonna work for you, what feels good, what you like,
And then you can incorporate that into partner play later on,
Which is super cool. It's super cool to take time with yourself and...
Enjoy that. Have an escape. Alone time is important.
It's great, you can use it in the bath, in the bedroom, in the shower, wherever you like.
Fantastic all around. Masturbation May. Take care of yourself.
Prioritize your pleasure.
And then when you're with a partner, it's great for everyone. So...
Tiani Duo by LELO. You can use the link in my description and check it out for yourself.
I really appreciate it and I promise that you will not regret it.
Okay. Back into the posts that are going to make you want to buy this even more to have some good old alone time.
Because sometimes people are just not it.
That's such a strange thing to say.
You could- You could have just left it at the first part.
"Not me getting totally distracted by those eyes and that smile." Just leave it there.
I don't really feel like my eyes and my smile, which is like, a thing I do every single day ...
Because I'm like happy...
And it means joy...
I don't really feel like that being sexualized.
If someone has in their bio that they're looking for something casual and they just want to hook up or whatever,
Then sometimes it's appropriate to like, you know, message something slightly suggestive.
But not like this.
This isn't how you do it. This is just strange.
It's all right to message people something like suggestive, if that's what they're looking for and they explicitly state that in their bio.
But don't be like weird about it. Don't be, like, descriptive.
You can be flirty without talking about your foreskin.
Just a thought.
Maybe start with a compliment and then have some back and forth before being really weird.
But also, you know, there's kind of a good thing about people being really weird straight off the bat.
And the good thing about it is that I know to not pursue them, you know?
Like, if they're gonna wait until we're like deep in a conversation to say some weird sh_t...
That's just a waste of time. You know?
At least they're getting it over and done with right at the beginning.
Um, but maybe just like, learn to not do that and then maybe you'll have more luck.
You know what, this is a pretty good first question. To sort of like...
See how they treat women, in a sense, you know?
And where their priorities lie.
Uh, it's quite good. I quite like this question.
It's a- It's a good question.
The response, however, is exactly why it's a good question.
You get a gauge on how they view things...
And, immediately, you know that you do not want to pursue this any further.
That's such a weird thing to say.
It's really weird to talk about like sex and context of your mother.
Like, when something's asked about your mum and your reply is something sexual...
I feel like you've got to read the room a little bit better.
You're talking about your mum there.
Really weird that when you think about your mum the first thing you think about is your dick.
Just a thought.
Maybe you've gotta do some reflection and think about that and then...
Never do it again.
This is so funny because this just reminds me of what's happening on YouTube with my channel at the moment.
For some reason, a ton of people have decided to make videos about my content,
And I'm getting a ton of DMs and comments on my Instagram posts,
And tweets of people spending way too long making ridiculous memes about me,
That are really funny but really awful.
And it just reminds- this is the same sort of energy.
Like, I criticize men and straight people a lot, we've been knew,
But that's because men and straight people do some weird sh_t and they say some sh_t that I don't like and that is problematic.
But I also like talk about...
Helping men and good things that men do, and how there are good men that exist.
And I also am aware that good heterosexual relationships exist.
Not all heterosexual relationships are between heterosexual people.
That's a fun fact.
I've been in several heterosexual relationships and I am not a heterosexual person.
And I don't think there's a problem with being straight or with being a cis-het man.
But it is fun to make fun of. It really is.
And like in this instance right now...
I'm criticizing men, but like a lot of men don't talk like this and don't interact with women like this.
So I'm not gonna talk about them because there's nothing entertaining about respectful men.
It's great! I'm glad respectful men exist.
It would be a- It would be terrible and awful if they didn't, but it's not good content, you know?
I don't feel the need to make videos praising people for just the bare minimum, right?
I've had people tell me they want me to do wholesome videos like...
r/TheStraightsBeingOkay,
But I don't feel the need to do that. I feel like that's just praising people for like, being respectful.
And they don't deserve- you don't deserve praise for just being a good person.
Like, that's just expected of you.
And it feels like I'm giving you a cookie for no f_cking reason.
So like- And also it's not that entertaining.
Reading nice stuff people say is just- Like, people aren't interested by it.
Most of the time, when I do positive videos they perform quite badly.
Because it's not entertaining, and it's not- Like, no one's learning anything, no one's laughing.
Because it's just like, people being people.
And like, I don't need to make a video about people being like good people.
I'm just like- I expect people to be nice and I'm gonna talk about people when they aren't.
Because it's a problem, and part of the reason I do what I do is because I've been in relationships with cis-het men.
I've been in an abusive relationship with a cis-het man.
And you kind of expect that once you get to a point and you see the way that a lot of men talk,
And are as I talk about in my videos.
You kind of just expect it and you lower your standards and you accept things that are unacceptable.
I feel like there is good in pointing out what is not okay.
And I also always enforce what you should accept.
You know? And like doing this has really helped me raise my standards and it has helped me through my own personal trauma.
Sitting here and talking about it, I'm learning too.
And I know a lot of you have said that, you know, sometimes my videos are helpful. And I-
I love, love, love getting DMs and comments saying that I've helped people get out of toxic or abusive relationships,
By enforcing what isn't isn't okay and what a lot of people...
Expect is okay and don't realize isn't okay.
And that is why I do what I do.
And I know a lot of people that I talk about aren't going to change and I don't expect them to change.
But it's not necessarily about that, it's about the conversation of what is seen as normal.
And I don't think it should be seen as normal.
And I think that's a conversation we need to have.
I don't hate all men. I don't hate all straight people.
But I am going to criticize those who are awful because there are way too many of them.
It's an unfortunate like majority.
Because misogyny is so ingrained in our society, homophobia are so ingrained in our society that it's just viewed as normal.
And I don't think it should be viewed as normal.
So I'm gonna talk about it and I'm gonna talk about why it's not normal.
And hopefully I'm able to help people accept that it's not normal,
And more people are going to stand up against it and not tolerate it.
And then people are going to be forced to change.
You know? That's- That's- That's what I'm doing here.
And yeah! Good- Good for her. Yeah. Good for her.
Women raising up women. I don't even know what she did here. I- I don't know.
Thinking immediately that she's never gonna say "good for him" based off of one comment that you've seen is so funny.
It's so funny. It's so funny.
What, you hate men? Misandry!
I'm like- I like men. I say good things about men all the time. I'm sorry that you don't f_cking see it.
I love that like just being supportive of women now is being misandrist.
Criticize men one time? Misandrist.
Say nice things about women? Misandrist.
You're only allowed to love men and then you're a normal person.
Bro, sit the f_ck down. When was the last time you said you go girl?
You know? When was the last time you were nice to men.
That's the problem. A lot of men aren't nice to other men,
And they're also not nice to women because they think that being respectful is immasculine.
Anyway. My camera is about to die and I have to check out of this Airbnb in 20 minutes,
So I'm gonna have to finish the video here.
I hope that you have enjoyed.
Um, the next location I'm gonna be in is also not home.
I'll probably be in Taupo, I think. So, I will see you then.
A massive thank you to my sprout and about patrons whose names are up on the screen right now.
And an extra-special thank you to my kiwi cat patrons, Wolf, Rosa, Talusk, Bobbie, Sparrow, Josh. Mandy, Robi, Kristy, and Icharxel Xaer.
Thank you so much for joining. I love and appreciate you so so much
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @TheQueerKiwi and Twitter @ThatQueerKiwi
Buy my kiwifruit plushie that will be available all of Pride Month.
I left it in the car but I will put a photo up on the screen right now.
She is coming to you soon. I am very very excited and I hope that you love her as much as I do.
Subscribe to my second channel, Quiwi. I will be uploading again there soon, I promise.
It's gonna be lots of fun new content.
I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.