MY NEXT GUEST IS A HILARIOUS ACTRESS, EXPERT CRAFTER, AND A
TALENTED TUMBLING PARTNER.
HER NEW SHOW IS CALLED "AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS."
>> OKAY.
SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING IS WE'RE GOING TO BE LAYING OUT
THE FILO AND BUTTER IN EACH INDIVIDUAL LAYER.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE INTIMIDATED BY FILO AND IF THIS IS THE CASE
FOR YOU PICK UP MY LATEST BOOK ME TALK FIL '01 DAY.
>> GREAT SUMMER READ.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE AUDIENCE HOW WE MET.
>> I USED TO OWN A PASTRY SHOP DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO TRIFER.
YOU WERE CATERING A LUNCHEON, AND YOUR OVEN BROKE AND YOU WERE
DESPERATE.
>> YOU WERE WEARING HALF A BRA AND HAD BLOOD ON YOUR SHOES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME MY
DEAR FRIEND, AMY SEDARIS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> WOW!
>> Stephen: HI!
COLBERT!
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOURSELF!
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO THE ED SULLIVAN!
>> I NEED A LITTLE TOUR.
IS THIS WHITE GRAVY?
>> Stephen: YES.
OKAY ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
THIS IS LOVELY.
WHERE'S THE TOP HAT?
>> I DON'T KISS AND TELL.
( LAUGHTER ) SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
>> YOU DID A LITTLE SEGMENT ON THE SHOW WHICH IS FUN.
>> Stephen: I DID THIS SEGMENT ON YOUR SHOW.
WHO IS THIS HANDSOME FELLOW WITH YOU?
>> WE HAD A GOOD TIME.
>> Stephen: WE HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER.
HOW IS YOUR RABBIT?
>> I HAVE ONE NEW RABBIT TINA.
>> Stephen: WHAT HAPPENED TO TATTLETALE?
>> TATTLETALE DIED A LONG TIME AGO.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG DO RABBITS LIVE?
>> EVERYONE ASKS THAT.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A RABBIT.
>> Stephen: MY RABBIT'S STILL ALIVE.
>> DUSTY LIVED TO BE 12.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LONG TIME.
>> SHE DIED IN MY ARM.
THIS IS TRUE, I HAD TO WAIT TILL HER BODY GOT STIFF, THERE WAS A
SNOWSTORM, COULDN'T GO TO THE VET.
I HAD TO WAIT TILL SHE GOT STIFF, MEASURE HER AND PUT HER
IN MY FREEZER.
>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MEASURE HER?
>> BECAUSE IN MY REFRIGERATOR, IT'S ONLY 24 INCHES.
I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING.
>> Stephen: COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTEMPT IT AND, AGAIN, I KNOW
IT'S A SERIOUS EVENT BUT A BUT COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTEMPT TO PUT
HER IN THAT WAY?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MEASURE HER?
>> BECAUSE WHAT IF SHE WAS 25 INCHES LONG DEAD?
AND SHE COULDN'T GET IN AND I'VE GOT TO STRUGGLE?
NO WAY.
>> Stephen: NO WAY.
O YOUR RABBIT IS STILL ALIVE.
>> Stephen: YEAH, BUNNY.
BUNNY'S YOUR RABBIT.
>> Stephen: NO LONGER MY RABBIT, THOUGH.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> Stephen: BECAUSE NO ONE OUT THERE KNOWS WHAT THE HELL WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
WE HAVE FRIENDS WHOSE DAUGHTER WENT TO COLLEGE AND THEIR BUNNY
COULD NOT GO TO COLLEGE WITH HER SO THEIR BUNNY BUNNY CAME TO
LIVE WITH US, THE GIRL GRADUATED AND SHE HAS THE BUNNY BACK.
>> SHE HAS THE BUNNY BACK.
>> Stephen: WE HAD IT WHILE SHE WAS IN COLLEGE.
>> YOU HAD THE BUNNY FOR A LONG TIME.
GUESS COLLEGE TAKES A WHILE.
>> Stephen: IT DOES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR HALLOWEEN?
>> I'M DRESSING AS A WITCH.
I TAKE MY GRANDCHILDREN TRICK OR TREATING AND I'M THEIR GOD
MOTHER IN CHARGE OF THEIR SPIRITUAL GROWTH.
ANTI-GET IN THE BAT GIRL OUTFIT, SO I'M GOING AS THE WITCH.
>> Stephen: THAT'S YOU HERE?
THAT'S ME WITH THE STOMACH STICKING OUT.
>> Stephen: NOT AT ALL.
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
SO NOT BAT GIRL THIS YEAR?
>> NO, I'M GOING TO DO THE WITCH.
I HAVE A GREAT WITCH HAT.
>> Stephen: GOOD OR BAD WITCH?
A GOOD WITCH WITH A DEVILISH SIDE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU TAKE YOUR GODMOTHERRING SERIOUS.
>> I DO.
I'M GOOD WITH THEM.
ASK PAUL.
LAST NIGHT I TOOK A MATTRESS ON THE STAIRS AND WE WERE FLYING
DOWN IT.
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE RIDING THE MATTRESS DOWN THE STAIRS?
>> I'M, LIKE, STAND UP ON YOUR FEET AND GO DOWN.
I'VE DONE REALLY STUPID STUFF WITH THEM AND I KEEP A DIARY.
PAUL DOESN'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE.
>> Stephen: AND THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH THESE CHILDREN?
>> I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BABY SIT WITHOUT AN ADULT AROUND.
I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT BABY SITTING.
YOU'RE A PLAYMATE.
>> JOHN CARLY THINKS I'M SEVEN.
ISN'T THAT GOOD?
>> Stephen: YOU'RE MATURING.
I'M MATURING.
>> Stephen: THE NEW SHOW, YOU PLAY YOURSELF AT HOME WITH AMY
SEDARIS.
QUICK QUESTION, I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR WHAT, 30 YEARS, 1988,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> '86 OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE GLASSES.
NOW YOU HAVE THICK BLACK GLASSES.
WHERE ARE YOU GLASSES?
>> FOR THE TV SHOW I HAD TO WEAR LENSES.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU WEARING THEM NOW?
>> I'M WEARING THEM NOW.
I TOOK CLASSES, AND I PLUCKED MY EYE SO MUCH I WAS BLEEDING A
WEEK BEFORE THE SHOW.
THEN I TOOK CLASSES, I FAILED THE FIRST TIME.
I SWEAR TO GOD THE GUY WHO WAS TEACHING ME SAYS YOU HAVE TO
STAY STRAIGHT AHEAD.
HE WAS CROSS-EYED.
I'M NOT EVEN JOKING.
I SAID, WELL, YOU'RE NOT LOOKING STRAIGHT.
ANYWAY, I GOT THEM IN.
THEN I HAD A LENS TECH WHO CAME TO SET.
>> Stephen: A LENS TECH?
YEAH, YOU HIRE THESE PEOPLE AND THEY'LL COME TO YOUR SHOW
AND THEY'LL PUT CONTACT LENSES IN.
SHE HAD LONG RAZOR-BACK CLAMS, RED NAILS COMING AT ME SO I
LEARNED QUICKLY.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE LIKE A PREY ANIMAL.
YOU CAN SEE BEHIND YOU AND THE WHOLE WORLD IS OPEN.
I ONLY WEAR THEM WHEN I WAS DOING DIFFERENT CHARACTERS, AND
YOU HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP AND I DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR GLASSES.
>> IF YOU WEAR GLASSES YOU'RE THE SAME CHARACTER.
WHICH IS WHY I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BEARD, THEN YOU WILL
ALWAYS BE THE BEARD GUY.
>> NOW YOU'RE JUST THE EAR GUY WITH THE GLASSES.
I LOVE YOUR EAR!
( LAUGHTER ) NO!
( PIANO RIFF ) THEY DON'T KNOW US!
NO.
THEY DON'T KNOW US!
>> Stephen: WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE 1988.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU THINK PEOPLE
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME OF THE 30 YEARS YOU'VE KNOWN ME THAT
PERHAPS I WOULDN'T BE WILLING TO TELL THEM?
>> WELL, THAT YOU FANCY YOURSELF A REALLY GOOD COOK.
NO, YOU ARE A GOOD COOK, BUT BACK IN THE DAY, PAUL AND I
WOULD MAKE FUN OF YOUR RECIPES ALL THE TIME AND I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE SO SENSITIVE AND IT HURT YOUR FEELINGS, BUT YOU'RE
OVER THAT NOW, RIGHT?
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S ALL
WE HAVE TIME FOR.
( LAUGHTER ) "AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS,"