Today I want to talk with you about Radical Acceptance.
Now what is Radical Acceptance?
Well it falls under the DBT 'Distress Tolerance' tools and skills that you learn.
And the reason that they created all of these different tools,
Is because many people they find,
Struggle with overwhelming emotions a lot of the time.
And those emotions make their life, for lack of better a term, pretty miserable.
And so what do we do when we are feeling all of these overwhelming horrible emotions,
We're just feeling like run over by them.
We have to learn ways to tolerate it.
Distress tolerance.
And the main thing that they believe,
And I am referencing.
If you remember, my handy dandy DBT workbook.
That is amazing.
If you haven't picked it up, I encourage you to pick one up.
It's in my Amazon widget on my website katimorton.com
But one of the important things that they mention in DBT,
Is that sometimes pain can be avoided.
But many times,
Sometimes pain can't be avoided.
But many times suffering can.
And that is the whole belief that things are going to happen to us.
We're going to have bad experiences.
And if we keep ruminating on those experiences.
And re-wounding ourselves by doing that.
We're increasing our suffering.
Are you following?
So we have these different tools in our tool box of distress tolerance tools.
To help us get out of that cycle.
So that we can shorten the amount of time that we ourselves suffer.
When things happen.
And when we feel those overwhelming emotions.
Okay.
Now the way that Radical Acceptance works,
Is it's a distraction tool.
Now, distracting us from,
And I'm reading my notes because DBT is very intense.
It can temporarily stop us from thinking about our pain.
And as a result of distracting us for that little bit of time,
It can allow us to make a healthier decision.
That's not based on rage.
Or intense feelings of emotion.
It gives us that little bit of time,
That little squishy space.
Where we can stop.
We can think about the scenario.
And we can decide a better way to react to it.
Or to respond.
Because reacting would be when we don't actually use our tools.
An important thing to remember about Radical Acceptance,
Is that distraction from it,
Does not mean avoidance.
Avoidance is when we actually choose not to deal with anything at all.
And we're honestly distracting because something has happened,
And we have to find a proper way to deal with it.
And they offer up some beginning to Radical Acceptance,
They call them,
'Coping Statements'.
Now as you begin using Radical Acceptance.
It's important that you kind of practice using these.
Now you don't, these aren't things that you necessarily have to say out loud,
But maybe when something happens.
Let's say, even watching the morning news,
Stirs up emotion in you.
And you start to feel a little bit overcome by emotion.
In your head.
Or even out loud to yourself.
Utilise some of these statements.
I just have a few options to share.
And these are all out of that book that I told you about.
Now the first option,
'I can't change what's already happened.'
So I'm already upset.
Or, that person has already hurt my feelings.
'I can't change what happened.'
Just saying that over and over.
Kind of like a mantra.
Radical Acceptance sounds a lot like mantras to me.
'It's no use fighting the past.'
Or,
'This moment is the result of over a million other decisions.'
Because sometimes we find we get stuck on one part of something that happened,
Like, 'If I had only just left earlier.'
'It I had only just said,'
' "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk about it." '
'It wouldn't have gotten to where it is.'
And we go back to what I was talking to before,
We ruminate on things.
And re-wound ourselves about situations that have happened in the past.
So what we're talking about today,
Is Distress Tolerance.
And I want you to try to utilise some of these coping statements,
That I just gave you some examples of, in real life.
And actually practice using this.
Because Radical Acceptance is just one of the many tools of DBT,
That we can use in the moment.
When we feel like our emotions are,
Just completely overriding any logical thought that we have.
Does that make sense?
So they are some ways that you can practice this on your own.
And like I said,
It's just one of many tools that we will go through.
But, if you would be willing to try.
Watching the news.
Reading a newspaper.
Maybe getting on facebook and reading about that friend.
That stirs up just a little bit of that overwhelming of emotion that you feel.
And then utilise one of the coping statements that I read to you.
Like,
'I can't change what has already happened.'
'It's no use fighting the past.'
Saying these as mantras in the moment when we are feeling emotion overwhelm us.
Can help us calm.
And like I said at the beginning,
Give us that bit of cushion so that we can make healthier, happier decisions for us.
Because we all want to build wonderful relationships with people.
Am I right?
And using these tools can actually help us slow down our emotional process,
So that we respond thoughtfully.
Rather than react.
And I hope that you find this helpful.
There is going to be a bunch of different DBT tools that we will go through.
But this one I think is the best to help us in the moment,
When we're feeling like,
'Ehh. Everything is getting a little too much.'
These mantras we can say to ourselves.
Or 'coping statements'.
Can help calm us down.
And as always don't forget to subscribe.
I put out videos all of the time.
And like I said,
DBT is so intensive.
There are so many different topics.
And if you haven't had a chance to pick up this book,
I have it on my Amazon widget on my website.
So get a copy.
It's amazing.
And also,
Don't forget to check out katimorton.com
There are tons of chat rooms.
And forums.
And great places for you to go where you can connect with others,
And get that extra support that we're all craving.
[Bottom right video]
Gets on the snowboard.
And he has a helmet on.
And he's like,
'Thank you everybody.'
'It's time to rock and roll!'
And he starts down the.
It's just the cutest thing.
I'm like,
Definitely.
Let's rock and roll.
[Laughing]
Subtitles by the Amara.org community