Ah...Remember the thrilling feeling of opening up your lunch and finding your favorite snack
in there?
That was a million times better than not getting picked last for kickball or having an early
dismissal, right?
Lunch was the best.
"I see you're drinking 1%.
Is that because you think you're fat?"
But the joy of youth is fleeting, and you can never go back again… especially now
that these lunchbox staples of your youth are officially extinct.
Dunkaroos
Betty Crocker's Dunkaroos were a '90s lunchbox essential.
If you had a package of these cookies with dippable frosting, you pretty much had carte
blanche to trade snacks with any kid in the lunchroom.
A kangaroo could never steer you wrong.
Dunkaroos were discontinued in the United States back in 2012, but if you're still fighting
off the shakes from late-night Dunkaroo cravings, there is a way: Canada still has Dunkaroos
on store shelves.
In 2016, General Mills announced the "Smugglaroos" campaign to encourage millennials to ship
the sugary snack across the border to U.S. fans, in order to boost interest in the fading
brand.
But while they might still be available in Canada, General Mills can no longer advertise
these sugary snacks to kids under the Canadian Children’s Food and Beverage Advertising
Initiative.
So unless you start smuggling, these too may go the way of the dodo.
"Dunkaroos, Dunkaroos!
You don't just eat, ya Dunkaroos!"
Hi-C Ecto Cooler
"Hi-C…
Hi-C!
It tastes so wonderfully!"
Any variety of Hi-C was a lunchbox favorite, but everyone wanted the one with Slimer on
the box.
Hi-C Ecto Cooler was a green, tangerine-flavored juice drink made for any kid who looked at
Slimer and thought, "Yeah, I'd drink that."
Despite Ghostbusters declining in popularity with kids, the drink stuck around until 2001,
even though it was a promotional product for the animated series The Real Ghostbusters,
which only ran until 1992.
Ecto Cooler was a rare example of a promotional product being even more popular than the cartoon
it was supposed to represent.
The drink was brought back in boxes and cans for the Summer of 2016 in honor of the Ghostbusters
reboot, but was sent back to the grave again in December 2016, leaving '90s kids high and
dry.
Squeezits
The '90s was the golden age of lunch box juices, and Squeezits were king: plastic bottles shaped
like cartoon characters that came in flavors like Chucklin' Cherry, Mean Green Puncher,
and Silly Billy Strawberry.
And who could forget the Color Changing Squeezits, which included a tablet that changed the color
of the drink?
Unfortunately, 2001 proved to be the death of many novelty drinks, and General Mills
shut down production.
Sorry, Smarty Arty Orange.
We hardly knew you.
"Say you didn't squeeze it, punk.
I WANT ANSWERS!"
"I haven't touched a drop in weeks, I swear."
P.B. Crisps
Released in 1992 and discontinued only a few short years later, P.B.
Crisps were peanut-shaped graham crackers with a sugary coating on the outside with
a tasty peanut butter cream inside.
Planters also released Chocolate Crisps and PB and J Crisps, but those two variations
were pretty rare even back during the brand's heyday.
Over 20 years has passed and nothing on the market available right now is similar to P.B.
Crisps.
What about Nutter Butters, you say?
"NO GOD!
NO GOD PLEASE NO!
NO NO NOOOOOO!"
SodaLicious
Fruit snacks were always a safe bet, but there were hundreds of different varieties.
You could have your snacks shaped like sharks or Garfield, or if you were boring, in the
form of a roll of tape.
"Time to head home."
"Said dad to his son."
"Soon as my Fruit By The Foot is done!"
With SodaLicious, you could have your fruit snacks shaped like soda bottles and mugs
SodaLicious originally came in cherry, cola, and root beer flavors.
Betty Crocker later brought on Cool Spot, 7UP's mascot of that same era, and flavors
were changed to red punch, grape, and 7UP-inspired lemon lime.
Because the market was completely saturated, SodaLicious practically faded away into the
fruity abyss sometime in the mid '90s.
Hostess Ninja Turtles Pies
"We're heroes in a half-shell baking up some pies.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies!"
Released in 1991 to promote Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze,
these fried Hostess pies were, quote, "fresh from the sewers", with a radioactive green
crust, and filled with, we quote again, "vanilla puddin' power."
Like the Ninja Rap, these pies didn't make it past the '90s, but nostalgic nuts want
these bad boys back.
Despite other brands bringing back beloved foods for movie tie-ins, Hostess hasn't re-released
Turtle Pudding Pies for any of the recent TMNT movies.
That pretty much makes them worse than Krang.
"You thought you were going to have it all.
Instead you have zip!"
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