[ APPLAUSE ]
>>> THIS WEEK, WE ARE LOOKING AT
ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS
OVERWHELMED MOMS FACE MOMMY
BURNOUT.
IT'S THE SUBJECT OF SO MANY M
MEMES AND MOVIES WHERE PARENTS
AND DRINKING GO HAND IN HAND.
WATCH THIS.
>> I WAS HOME TAKING CARE OF
FOUR, SMALL KIDS, WHILE BEING A
FULL-TIME WORKING MOM.
I FELT A LOT OF ANXIETY AND
STRESS.
AS SOON AS I WOULD COME HOME
FROM WORK I WOULD POUR A GLASS
OF WINE AND START THE EVENING
ROUTINE OF HOMEWORK, BATHS AND
BEDTI
BEDTIME.
AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, I
WOULD CONSUME A BOTTLE OF WINE.
AND I WOULD PASS OUT FROM
OVERCONSUMPTION AND WAKE UP THE
NEXT DAY AND WOULD HATE MYSELF.
AND I WOULD SWEAR I COULD NOT
DRINK AGAIN THAT DAY AND FOUND
MYSELF STOPPING AT A LOCAL
GROCERY STORE AND PICKING UP A
BOTTLE OF WINE ON MY WAY HOME.
THERE WERE TIMES I HAD
PROBABLY -- NOT PROBABLY, I HAD
DRIVEN HOME MY CHILDREN, BEING
INTOXICATED.
AND MY 10-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
REMINDS ME OF WHEN I LEFT TO GO
TO THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE AND HAVE
A DRINK WITH THEM AND LEFT HER
AT HOME, WITH THE DOORS LOCKED.
BUT I BROUGHT A BABY MONITOR AND
THOUGHT THAT WAS OKAY.
AND SO, SHE SAYS TO ME OFTEN,
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU DON'T DRINK
ANYMORE.
>> THE DRINKING CHANGED PRETTY
QUICKLY AFTER I HAD MY DAUGHTER.
I DIDN'T REALLY WAIT TO JUMP
BACK INTO DRINKING ONCE I HAD
HER.
BUT IT HAD SUCH A MORE PROFOUND
AFFECT ON ME BECAUSE I WAS SO
OVERTIRED.
I HAD SOME PRETTY EXTREME
DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY RIGHT
WHEN I HAD HER, LIKE A LOT OF
MOMS DO.
AND I THOUGHT THE DRINKING WAS
HELPING ME TO DEAL WITH THAT.
AND IT REALLY JUST MADE IT
WORSE.
I TOLD MYSELF FOR SO LONG, THAT
THIS HELPS ME UNWIND.
IT HELPS ME SLEEP.
IT HELPS ME DEAL, WHATEVER THAT
MEANS, WITH BEING A MOM.
THAT IT MAKES IT EASIER.
I WOULD DRIVE SOMETIMES IN THE
CAR WITH WINE.
AND I DIDN'T REALLY THINK THERE
WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
THAT'S THE CRAZY THING.
I THOUGHT THAT I DESERVED TO
HAVE WINE BECAUSE I WAS DOING
THIS REALLY HARD THING AND I WAS
WORKING AND, YOU KNOW, TAKING
CARE OF A KID FULL-TIME.
AND I THINK IT'S DIFFERENT FOR
MOMS TODAY BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING
TO BE EVERYTHING AND I THINK
WINE IS SEEN AS THIS DUCT TAPE
SAFETY NET THAT WILL HOLD YOU
TOGETHER OR FIX IT.
AND IT'S A LIE.
>> LAURA MARKS HER FOURTH YEAR
OF SOBRIETY THIS SEPTEMBER.
SHE IS A WRITER, FOCUSED ON
HELPING THOSE LIKE HER.
AND KELLY HAS BEEN SOBER FOR
FIVE YEARS AND IS A PSYCH
THERAPIST AND AUTHOR OF "MY
SELF," AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
SURVIVAL.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
IS IT EMOTIONAL TO SEE THAT?
>> THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL
ENVIRONMENT TO BE IN RIGHT NOW.
THANK YOU.
>> THAT'S HOW I FEEL, TOO.
THAT'S HOW I FEEL, TOO.
THE AUDIENCE POURS THIS WARM
BLANKET AROUND YOU WHEN YOU TALK
ABOUT THINGS THAT EVERYONE CAN
RELATE TO.
EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO, LIKE MOM
STRESS, WHICH BOTH OF YOU HAVE
POINTED OUT, WE DON'T TALK
ABOUT.
WE DON'T REALLY TALK ABOUT IT
BECAUSE YOU SEE -- I ALWAYS
PICTURE THE WOMAN WITH THE
FLOWING HAIR AND THE BABY AND
SHE SEEMS PERFECT AND WHY AM I
NOT PERFECT AND ENJOYING IT LIKE
THAT WOMAN IS AT EVERY MOMENT
WITHOUT PROBLEMS.
WITHOUT LOSING MY TEMPER AND
FEELING LESS THAN.
CAN YOU RELATE?
>> OR COMING OUT OF HAVING A
BABY LOOKING LIKE WHAT WE JUST
SAW ON TV THERE.
THAT WAS LIKE --
>> THAT'S NOT REAL.
I'M SORRY, PRINCESS KATE, IT
ISN'T.
WOMEN AT HOME NEED TO KNOW THAT.
IN THIS DAY AND AGE OF INSTAGRAM
AND ALL THESE PICTURES AND
SELFIES, WE SEE THESE FALSE
IMAGES OF PEOPLE'S SO-CALLED
PERFECT LIVES AND THEY'RE B.S.
IT'S NOT TRUE.
>> I SAY IT'S PICTURED AND NOT
PICTURED.
THIS IS THE PICTURE THING YOU
SEE.
BUT NOT PICTURED IS ALL THE
STUFF THAT'S HAPPENING IN THE
BACKGROUND.
>> HOW DID ALCOHOL -- I KNOW IN
BOTH YOUR STORIES, IT WENT FROM
A SOCIAL THING THAT WASN'T A
PROBLEM TO, NO, IT'S VERY MUCH A
PROBLEM NOW.
>> I HAD A LITTLE BIT OF A LONG
PROGRESSI
PROGRESSION.
I STARTED DRINKING WHEN I WAS 17
OR 18.
IT WAS NORMAL EXCEPT FOR A FEW
ISOLATED INCIDENTS, EVERYONE HAS
IN COLLEGE.
WHEN I HAD MY DAUGHTER, IT
REALLY CHANGED.
IT AFFECTED ME IN A DIFFERENT
WAY.
IT STOPPED WORKING THEN.
AND IT BECAME SOMETHING THAT I
NEEDED -- I FELT I NEEDED TO DO
MORE.
IT WAS A BAD LOOP.
>> AT THE HEIGHT OF YOUR
DRINKING, HOW MUCH ALCOHOL WOULD
YOU SAY YOU WERE CONSUMING?
>> I WOULD, AT THE MOST, I WOULD
DRINK, I WOULD HAVE A COUPLE OF
BOTTLES OF WINE A NIGHT.
AND I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING
ABOUT THAT.
IT WOULD JUST BE GONE.
I WOULD FIGURE IT OUT THE NEXT
DAY WHEN I WENT TO SEE.
OH, I DRAINED BOTH OF THOSE
BOTTLES.
IT WASN'T UNCOMMON FOR ME TO DO
THAT.
>> I KNOW, KELLY, YOU FELT THE
STRESS AND THE ANXIETY OF
MOTHERHOOD.
YOU HAD GROWN UP ABOVE A BAR,
RIGHT?
>> I DID, RIGHT.
>> IN CHICAGO.
IT WAS NORMAL TO SEE DRINKING.
BUT WHEN DID IT CLICK FOR YOU
THAT DRINKING ISN'T WORKING FOR
ME?
>> WELL, I WAS A BINGE DRINKER.
I WOULD GO OUT AND DRINK WITH
FRIENDS.
I MET MY HUSBAND AT MY PARENTS'
BAR.
DRINKING WAS SO NORMALIZED IN MY
WORLD.
I DIDN'T KNOW ANYBODY WHO DIDN'T
DRINK.
IT CHANGED FOR ME WHEN I DID
HAVE KIDS AT HOME AND I WENT TO
BINGE DRINKING TO DRINKING EVERY
DAY JUST TO MANAGE.
AND I WOULD SWITCH MY DRINKING.
I WOULD THINK, THAT'S THE WINE.
THAT MAKES ME TOO TIRED.
I READ IN "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE THAT
IF I DRANK TEQUILA, IT WOULD BE
AN UPPER.
SO, ISTARTED DRINKING TEQUILA.
IT WORKED.
I GOT LAUNDRY DOWN.
BUT THE INSANITY OF TRYING TO
CONTROL MY DRINKING.
I DIDN'T HAVE A ROCK-BOTTOM
MOMENT.
I THINK THAT'S IMPORTANT FOR
PEOPLE TO HEAR BECAUSE MY
PROGRESSION WENT FROM BINGE
DRINKING TO DRINKING EVERY DAY.
AND I HAD A 6, A 4, A 2-YEAR-OLD
AND A 6-MONTH-OLD AT HOME.