N: “Many railtours are routed to the North Western Railway from the mainland. Preserved
engines from all different railway companies bring endless coaches of enthusiasts to the
island. Most are scrapyard veterans, who were rescued and used on heritage railways, but
some are completely new, and built especially to pull these trains. --
Tornado steamed down the line, then left the coaches to have a rest at the sheds.
James: “‘Ello Tornado! Haven’t seen you around here for a while.”
Tornado: “Not had the chance James! Just had my first overhaul. As you can see I’ve
also been painted back in green too.”
James: “Oh I noticed… it’s a bit too green for my liking but I’m not one for
complaining.”
Tornado: “Hmm… yes, well… where’s Gordon at? Didn’t see him out on the mainline?”
Henry: “Well he went off to have his overhaul yesterday. James and I are sharing out the
express work. I’m on roster tomorrow.”
James: “No record-breaking Henry… You probably don’t have it in you anyway but
just a warning.”
Henry: “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
James: “Just saying you wouldn’t dare break the speed limit on the mainline…”
Henry: “Oh I’m sorry, I don’t recall the last time you disobeyed orders yourself!”
James: “Well… there was that one time on Duck’s branchline…”
(Flashback to James running into a siding with a GWR sign stating that Red and Blue
weight classed engines are forbidden to pass) Great Western Joke…
Tornado: “I wouldn’t dare break the rules on the mainline… it can lead you into a
whole heap of trouble! A railway touring company was banned this year because one of their
trains went past a red signal. Besides, the rules are there for a reason.”
Henry: “To be broken. Don’t think I can’t manage 75mph James! You wait till tomorrow!
If you aren’t too busy with your generic work…”
James: “Oh I’ll be there all right! I’d pay to see you mess up any day!”
Tornado: “Err… guys? Did you listen to a word I just said? I don’t think this is
a good idea… Oh boy this isn’t going to end well!”
N: “The following morning, Henry awoke early so he could build a good head of steam.”
Henry: “Oh James? Wake up! Someone has to shunt my coaches and I’m pretty sure that
engine is you…”
James: (Tired) “Not today. Too tired. Can’t be bothered. Do it yourself Henry.”
Henry: “Why you little… Well there’s no way I’m shunting my own coaches!”
Driver: “Come on Henry, you’ll just have to shunt your own coaches I’m afraid.
You're steam pressure is good enough to set out now.”
(Henry heads off to shunt his coaches)
Henry: “That stubborn little… if I could I’d tell him a thing or two. Urgh.”
Driver: “Ooh cheer up. I think we’re just about finished here. Let’s get them to the
platform. I’ll just fix your headlamps.”
N: “All engines must wear either lamps or disks on the front and back of their trains.
They make a special code that signalman use to identify what type of train it is. This
is called a headcode, and Henry was being fitted with the ‘express passenger’ code,
which was a lamp on either side of his frames. The driver was just about to add the second lamp when..."
(James whistles as he enters the yard. The driver jumps in fright and drops the lamp)
James: “Morning Henry! Nice day isn’t it?”
Henry: “James! I thought you were too tired to be able to shunt the coaches?”
James: “I was, and I am. I’m not too tired to come and laugh at you though! I told you I would!"
Henry: “Well I’m afraid you won’t get the chance… everything is going to be fine
today, as it always has been. I’ve pulled the express countless times before, you know that."
James: “Doesn’t mean you’re any good at it! You’re going to run late before you’ve
even started if you don’t get to the platform!”
Henry: “I really hate you sometimes… Going around as if you’re James Bond! Your attitude
will come and hit you in the tender if you aren’t careful either James… Anyways,
good day, I’ve got an express to pull!” James: “Pahh! I… I don’t care! I’ve
got plenty of things to do as well today! Like err… like… well I’ve got to take
some empty coaches up to Wellsworth. Yep! Busy day ahead of me as usual! Ah...”
Guard: “8:00 express to Barrow-In-Furness.” Fireman: “Right away!”
Henry: “Come along, come along! If it’s any day we make good time this will be the one!"
Thomas: “Morning Henry! Nice to see you on the express for a change… Oh, okay you’re
in a hurry I’ll see you later then… Err… Henry? You took those points a bit fast didn’t you?--------
Clumsy big engine! Takes the express for a
change and he acts just like Gordon would…”
N: “Henry made good time at each of the stops. He pelted down the line, boasting his
lasting speed. He didn’t know who he was boasting TO… but it didn’t matter.
Henry is a mixed traffic engine, and so isn’t as smooth pulling express’ as Gordon, but
wanted to prove that that didn’t matter. It didn’t, until they rocketed over an uneven stretch of track!"
Henry: “Wooah! Uh oh… Oh that’s not good…”
N: “One second his headlamp was gleaming proudly on his footplate, the next, it had
fanished in a trail of smashed glass far behind.”
Henry: “Nevermind… I… I’ll just ask driver to use a replacement lamp at the next station."
N: “Henry never reached the next station… Up ahead, the signalman checked down the line,
and was horrified when he saw Henry racing towards him!”
Signalman: “Hold on… that’s the train of empty coaches! Its before the express!
This isn’t right… That’s not what I’ve got on my schedule!”
N: “The signalman read the headcode and mistook Henry for James’ empty coach train.
But its the express that has priority on the line… Henry suddenly found himself swaying
off of the express line!”
Henry: “Woah! What’s going on? This isn’t my line! We’re on the wrong track! Driver,
brakes! Red flag! Red flag!”
N: “His brakes locked tight as the express was drought to a complete and unexpected standstill.
The signalman came running up to the cab.”
Henry: “What is the meaning of this?! I have an express here! Why have we been stopped?
Has there been an accident?” N: “The signalman turned to the coaches,
where he saw a train full of agitated passengers complaining at the sudden stop.”
Signalman: “There’s definitely something that’s gone wrong here! I mistook you for
an empty train! You’re wearing the wrong headcode you spanner! Didn’t anyone teach
you the railway codes?”
N: “The cab crew looked above Henry’s buffer in the space where there should have been a railway lamp."
Driver: “Henry? Where’s your headlamp gone?! Why didn’t you tell us?”
Henry: “Oh… I err…”
James: “Well… Well… Well… And what do we have here Mr. Signalman? A broken down
train? A failed engine? Surprise surprise! You know… some may say I can see the future…
I knew something was going to go wrong on this train! Anyways, can’t hang around like
you Henry, I’ve got a train to pull and I don’t plan any sudden stops! Goodbye!”
Henry: “Ooh not so fast James! If you knew this train was going to be delayed then I
question if you had anything to do with this…”
Signalman: “That’s right! You’d better stop too James. If you have something to do
with delaying the express of all trains then you’ve got some questions to answer!”
James: “But… but I… I was only joking about all that nonsense! I’ve got absolutely
no idea what happened to this train! Blame that green thing over there not me! Henry!
Back me up here would you? You know I’ve got nothing to do with this!”
Henry: “Not today. Too tired. Can’t be bothered. Do it yourself, James.”
TFC: "I am not pleased with either of you this evening!
From two of my more experienced engines I expect better behaviour from you! Understandable, you’ve been stuck working
on the same railway for Awdry knows how long, but by now you should know not to let arguments
and quarrels get involved with your work!”
HENRY/JAMES: “Yes sir… sorry sir. Won’t happen again.”
TFC: “Sigh* “Why you make such an ordeal of pulling the express I have no idea. I mean,
surely more people would be able to see you better if you were pulling a slower train…
Nevermind. Why can’t you be like Gordon here, fresh from his overhaul, and pull the
express all day everyday without any fuss, boasting, confusion OR delay?”
Henry: “What?! Don’t you remember last year?”
James: “But sir! He set his tender on fire for crying out loud!”
Henry: “Not to mention all the other accidents he’s had over the years… if I could montage
all the moments here in front of you I would…”
TFC: “My memory only focuses on certain things… but as they say, that’s another
story, and so in a sense making me try to remember a miniscule event from the good old
days is certainly causing me confusion! Now off to work engines… I’ve got some very
serious decisions to make… (TFC mutters trying to decide what he’ll be eating for dinner that evening)
James: *Sigh* “Well… that went well. Sorry about what happened this morning Henry.”
Henry: “Its alright James… Quite alright. But feel free to take my express runs next
week. I wouldn’t mind taking goods or shunting around here instead.”
James: “Oh no the pleasures’ all yours Henry. I’m fine taking commuter runs for a while."
Henry: “No no, I insist. I’ll even fetch the coaches for you! The mainline awaits...”
James: “...Are you sure? I guess I wouldn’t mind taking the express...”
Henry: “Well of course! I mean, what could POSSIBLY go wrong, eh? No take backs…”
James: “Wait, Henry, no I… Oh bollocks!”