what is the most passive yet aggressive communication that is being directed at
you that you're not even realizing keep watching this is life mastery gym I'm
Damon Cart and I teach people just like you cutting-edge NLP processes and
techniques so that you can master your life and take charge of your destiny
so if that sounds good make sure you click right here and subscribe to this
channel so you can get these videos on a regular basis shortly before my mentor
Steve andreas passed away he told me that if he knew he were going to live
longer one thing that he would study is
implication and implication more specifically from the father of modern
hypnosis Milton Erickson and he recommended that I look into this more
and that there was a lot more to understand about the subtle
communication of implication and he's even written two papers on it it's still
available if you search Steve andreas and you search implication you'll find
his essays on that how much do you actually know about Milton Erickson the
hypnotist basically NLP a good chunk of NLP was modeled after his communication
skills which was based on hypnosis so if you know who Milton Erickson is or if
you don't let me know in the comments below when I took my first NLP training
one of the teachers told us about a study that was done where they took a
group of kids and they tested their knowledge and their intelligence and
they scored average to slightly above average then they decided to divide that
class in half and they gave one group to a teacher and they told that teacher
that these kids were highly intelligent and highly gifted and then they took the
other group of kids and the kids to another teacher and they
told that teacher that these kids were below average they needed a lot of help
and they were borderline learning disabled and then a few months later
they tested all of the the kids basically the same test and not
surprisingly the kids who were with the teacher who believed they were much
smarter than when they were that their test scores went up and the other kids
who the teacher believed were not so bright their test scores went down now
how could we explain this well there's two things that really can help explain
this that's presupposition and also implication and I'm gonna focus more on
implication but presupposition is a great way to compare implication or to
show the contrast between the two and why is this important when it comes to
passive-aggressive communication well when somebody presupposes that you're
wrong or you did something that was not right or you screwed up which is what a
lot of passive-aggressive people do when they communicate to you
they do so in a way where they presuppose that you've messed something
up they presuppose that you're bad they presuppose that you're lower than them
and they are better than you but a presupposition can be called out you can
negate a presupposition you can especially if you study this a little
bit you will start to know when somebody's using a presupposition and
then you can stop and say wait a minute I don't agree with that and
presupposition is also one of the what you also find it in the Milton model the
NLP Milton model it's the model that the founders of NLP and the developers of
NLP discovered whenever they modeled Milton Erickson and they found these
language patterns which were very persuasive and very hypnotic and he used
a lot of presupposition now a presupposition might be something like
when are you gonna start feeding the kids food that they like that was
actually something that was told to me I'm not gonna save my hippo but in that
presupposition is a precept presupposing that I'm intentionally feeding the kids
food that they don't like well of course I wouldn't do that to my kids and I
caught that presupposition I said well wait a minute
no I fed them what I thought was healthy and that I thought they would like I
didn't know they weren't going to like it okay so I was able to catch that
presupposition and so you want to tune your ears to that if you're dealing with
someone who you think is being very passive-aggressive they will use
presuppositions with you and so you want to go to catch those and they become
really easy to catch which a lot harder is catching implication why because
implication there's really nothing to negate it's really what's there that's
not being said it's what's left blank and so why did I tell that story in the
beginning about the kids because really the kids were probably subjected to
presuppositions the smart kids were presupposed that they were smart so they
probably felt smarter the kids who were being presupposed that they weren't so
bright probably felt Dumber and so they acted that way and then on top of it
it's all the stuff that wasn't being said okay so I'm gonna do my best to
explain implication and it might take a little while you might have to watch
this video a few times but think about this if somebody if you think's life is
a certain way if you think you are a certain way if you think someone else is
a certain way you tend you tend to treat them that way you tend to treat yourself
that way or you tend to approach life that way and that's why we thought we
have what we call self-fulfilling prophecies or we have what the world
seems to function like we believe it functions even if it's really bad and
people tend to act the way that we think they act so it continues to go that way
it's like oh it's like a loop an implication is the most subtle fly below
the radar way of communicating and when someone's being passive-aggressive with
you and they're using implication there well first of all they're probably not
even aware of it but if they're highly skilled at being passive-aggressive I
can assure you that they are using implication and that implication is
affecting you and that implication is causing you to probably behave in
such a way that sort of confirms what they already think about you and this
just makes this such a situation worse so if you're dealing with a
passive-aggressive person notice how you tend to kind of feel and act the way
that they're treating you and what's worse is that sometimes you don't even
realize it that it's them who's doing it and that's when you know that
implication is probably being used so like I said implication is what's not
being said so it can't be negated so I'll give you some examples of the
difference between presupposition and implication and hopefully this will shed
light on what I'm talking about here let's say someone at work or this could
even be in a relationship someone says to you you didn't screw up this time
okay that's a presupposition and how you know it's a presupposition is because
you can negate something so first of all what does that presuppose that's
presupposes that you often screw up if somebody says well you didn't screw up
this time so you can say wait a minute what do you mean are you implying or
you're Uchitel are you presupposing that I screw up a lot of the time and then
the person might backpedal and say well you know I'm sorry I didn't mean that
but if they're being passive-aggressive there it's probably quite intentional so
you can call it out and you can negate it but what if someone just says to you
and again this can be in a relationship a intimate relationship or a work
relationship they say you didn't screw up so the implication there is that
maybe you normally do but because the person didn't say it you K if you come
back and say well what do you mean I normally do and the person go whoa I
didn't I didn't say that would warrant why are you thinking that
you thought that I didn't say that so you should be able to get kind of a
sense of what implication is here it's very subtle and it's very powerful
because if somebody just says you didn't screw up where does your mind go your
mind goes - oh you know like I yeah there was that other time that I did
screw up or your mind naturally shifts to the times that
screw up and then you kind of feel bad about yourself and by the time you're
wrapped up in this the person's probably already gone you don't even realize what
they did to you this is how powerful implication can be
so let me give you some more examples so another presupposition might be in
say like a work-related situation if you get promoted a lot of times the people
who are jealous of you will act passive aggressively toward you they can't be
overtly aggressive to you because and then you might fire them or because
you're the supervisor you would tell whatever supervisor would then reprimand
them possibly fire them so if you do get promoted expect people to be
passive-aggressive with you and so someone might say to you since you
became supervisor our numbers are down okay so this is a presupposition and it
can be negated so you could say well wait a minute so you're trying to say
that because the numbers are down it must be my fault so you can call them
out on that presupposition but what if they just come to you and say our
numbers are down again because there's so much left open here
that would probably put you put make you feel like oh wait a minute since I
became supervisor is this my fault and that's probably what the person wants
you to experience well maybe this is my fault the numbers are down maybe this is
my fault again this is implication it it's what's
not being said that causes your mind to go to that place and it's really hard to
negate it and if you did then you might look like the crazy one which adds to
their passive-aggressive communication so what if you said well you know the
person said well our numbers are down and you turn around and said what are
you trying to imply that this is because it's my fault since I'm the supervisor
now and then the first thing we might jump back and say what are you talking
about like I never said that and that's because they didn't have to and that's
implication so I'm going to give you one more presupposition and implication so
you can get an idea of what I'm what implication is so let's say you're in a
relationship let's say a family relationship and your spouse says to you
well you know when you're at work I'm sure you're wonderful I'm sure you're
great but at home it's a from story okay so what are they pretty
supposing this one's pretty obvious that sure you do well at work but you're not
really thinking of your family you're more interested in work you're more
interested in your job than you are in your family so again this is a
presupposition so you can notice it and you can negate it and you could say oh
you're trying to imply that I don't care about my family that I care more about
my job than I care about my family so again this is what makes presupposition
that you know it's a presupposition because you can negate it but what if
your spouse just comes to you and says your family needs you okay so this can
be a sincere statement and it might not be passive-aggressive and it might not
be an implication the way that I've been talking about it here but in the right
context it most certainly could be just coming out and saying your kids need you
which implies that you're not there for your kids or you're not there for your
family and and if you had just returned from work late that really creates that
context and again if you try to negate that and you say something like well are
you saying that I'm not here for my family the spouse can back up and say oh
I didn't I didn't say that I'm just saying your family needs you so it's
it's it's once again it this could easily be turned on you if you try to
negate it and that person can make you seem even crazier which is what
passive-aggressive people often want to do they want to make you seem wrong bad
or crazy there is much to be explored when it comes to implication so have fun
with this learn more about it notice how it comes up in your interactions
especially when you think someone is being passive-aggressive toward you and
if you would like to learn more of the Milton model language patterns the NLP
Milton model I created a free pdf that you can get immediate access to there's
a link right down here in the description and then also I'll put a
link and the ten to comment at the top you just click that link and you can get
your hands on that free PDF which I'd give you several Milton
model language patterns that you can use for a greater persuasion and influence
you can also use them if you're into hypnosis also you can notice when these
patterns are being used on you so that you can recognize what's happening and
how they might one might be using them to influence or persuade you which is
not necessarily a bad thing unless they're trying to get you to do
something that you don't want to do so check out that PDF if you like this
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take care