A Quiet Place, the sneakiest horror thriller in a long time, is downright amazing and guaranteed
to make you jump more than once.
But as amazing as it is, A Quiet Place has more than a few plot holes and inconsistencies.
Here are dumb things in A Quiet Place that everyone just ignored.
That sand, though
The Abbott family has a pretty cushy crash pad back on the farm.
With electricity, near infinite corn, and all the Monopoly they could ask for, it's
easy to see why they'd want to spend as much time as possible in their post-apocalyptic
slice of domestic heaven.
Still, man does not live on corn alone, and at times, the family has to wander out in
search of supplies.
Doing so is clearly a harrowing task.
You know what was probably a lot more harrowing?
Making a sand trail that stretches from the farm for apparently miles.
Where did they get that much sand?
More importantly, how do they maintain the trail that they built, since sand has a way
of blowing away the second a light breeze blows in?
Papa, can you hear me?
John Krasinski and Emily Blunt are a bonafide power couple on and off screen.
In A Quiet Place, they somehow managed to maintain a farm, raise a family, design a
soundproof infant cellar and have family dinners where nobody shouted at each other.
Any one of those things would've been impressive before the end of the world, but doing all
of them without Netflix to unwind with at the end of the day is just shy of unbelievable.
Even with all those achievements, there's still one hole in their education that's difficult
to ignore.
We're speaking, of course, about family planning.
If you can figure out how to power a whole farm and create machines that allow the deaf
to hear, you can figure out contraception.
Who brings a baby into a world where it'll get eaten the second it burps too loud?
Water you doing?
So you've just woken up and it's the end of the world.
That's going to be a bummer for a lot of people.
Still, at least real estate is going to open up fast!
So fast, in fact, that you could probably live about anywhere you want.
Heck, you could even live on the beach!
The beach is great for so many reasons.
It's full of delicious fish, and even more full of water.
Crashing, cacophonous water, which confuses the monsters and makes them unable to hear
you.
Like in the waterfall scene?
Anyway.
The point is, go find some nice waterfront property.
Sound off
John Krasinski's Lee Abbott, knows two things in this movie: being an electrician and keeping
his family safe.
He repeatedly showcases his enviable skill sets, maintaining the family compound and
wiring up a command center in the basement.
The guy is a genius survivalist.
Emily Blunt's Evelyn is no rube, either.
She coaches herself through childbirth and she's a crack shot with a rifle.
With all their expertise and crisis readiness, it makes you wonder why they only had one
contingency plan for drawing the monsters away from the house in case of an emergency.
If they had the tech and the smarts to set up CCTV cameras around the farm, how hard
would it have been to wire up a couple speakers to make noises successively farther away?
Seems like a pretty big hole in the defenses of America's most attractive end-of-days survivors.
Easily distracted
The big problem with the monsters from A Quiet Place is that one of their vulnerabilities
is weaponizably silly.
Forget the feedback thing - these are the most easily distracted creatures in cinematic
history.
Literally all you have to do to escape these creatures is throw something noisy in the
other direction and run.
As beautiful as the movie is, it's just hard to be afraid of a creature that you can get
rid of by throwing a whistling Frisbee.
Kind of corny
The Quiet Place lives on one major rule: If you make a sound, you get attacked.
Which makes you wonder, how were the Abbotts successfully running a multi-acre corn farm?
Farming, especially on such a large scale, is noisy, labor-intensive work.
Sure, the planting is easy, if you don't mind working in complete silence and your hoe never
hits a rock or something.
Watering those fields would be a tricky situation, though and that's to say nothing of the harvesting
process.
How is a family of four picking that much corn without the help of a very large, very
loud machine?
We know they're doing something since they have a silo full of corn, and the plants are
meticulously sown into rows a year and a half after the end of the world.
A quieter place
Alright, maybe the Abbotts didn't want to move out to the ocean.
Stay where you're comfortable.
But maybe they should've soundproofed more of their house.
At this point, we've established that soundproofing mostly works.
What they needed to do was take that sound-muffling mattress idea and expand on it in a big way.
There has to be a hardware store in town with enough insulating foam to get a good start.
Or just grab a bunch of mattresses and cover your house in mattresses like some bed-based
Batman villain from the '60s.
Come on, guys.
Surviving the end of the world sounds pretty easy.