>> POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME IS NOW RECOGNIZED AS A
SIGNIFICANT WOUND OF WAR, BUT PTSD, AMONG MANY VIETNAM
VETERANS, INCLUDING GORDON FLETCHER HOWELL WENT
UNRECOGNIZED FOR YEARS.
HIS DAUGHTER JESSICA JIMISON SHARED DETAILS WITH PRODUCER
DAVE FRASER.
>> I WAS THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR KIDS.
JUST VERY PATRIOTIC, YOU KNOW, GO AND DO THE RIGHT THING.
HE THOUGHT MARINE CORPS WAS THE WAY TO DO THAT.
BE WELL RESPECTED.
IT KIND OF ALL CHANGED FOR HIM.
THAT WAS THE BIG TURNING POINTED FOR HIM WHEN HE DESCRIBED WHAT
HE DEVELOPED AS COGNITIVE COGNITIVEDISIDENSE, SAYING THAT
HE WOULD BE A V.C.
AND HATE HIMSELF, AND THAT WAS REALLY
HARD FOR HIM.
HE WAS KIND OF NOT HIS NORMAL SELF WHEN HE GOT HOME.
DID NOT ANNOUNCE THAT HE WAS HOME.
CAME HOME TO CALIFORNIA, AND HE WAS FROM ARLINGTON,
MASSACHUSETTS, DID NOT TELL HIS PARENTS THAT HE WAS BACK.
WENT OUT TO A BAR IN CALIFORNIA ONCE HE GOT OFF THE BASE, WHICH
I THINK WAS SAN DIEGO WHERE HE CAME HOME TO, AND WENT OUT TO A
BAR KNOWING THAT EVERYBODY WOULD WANT TO HEAR WHAT WAS ACTUALLY
GOING ON IN VIETNAM.
HE STARTED TO SHARE HIS STORY, AND VERY QUICKLY WITH BODY
LANGUAGE AND YOU KNOW, WHATEVER THE VERBAL LANGUAGE WAS THAT HE
RECEIVED AS FEEDBACK HE LEARNED THAT NOBODY WANTED TO HEAR HIS
STORY.
IN FACT, PEOPLE WOULD RATHER HAVE THEIR HEADS IN THE SAND,
YOU KNOW, AND ALTHOUGH HE COULD BARE WITNESS, IT WAS NOT
WELCOME.
>> I WAS VERY ATTUNED TO MY DAD'S EMOTIONS, BOTH MY PARENTS,
BUT MY DAD HAD A STRONGER PERSONALITY THAN MY MOM.
THE FIRST TIMES I PROBABLY REMEMBER ASKING HIM, TRYING TO
ASK HIM ABOUT LIKE TO TELL ME ABOUT VIETNAM I WAS PROBABLY
MAYBE FOUR OR FIVE.
WHAT I REMEMBER IS THAT HE WOULD START TO TELL ME SOME STORY FROM
VIETNAM, AND HE WOULD QUICKLY START TO TEAR UP.
AT THAT POINT THE SUBJECT NEEDED TO CHANGE.
HE COULDN'T TELL ME ANY MORE.
SO FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE I KNEW THAT THERE WERE THINGS THAT HE
COULD NOT SHARE.
I KNEW THAT THEY WERE PAINFUL THINGS.
HE WAS A MARINE.
MARINES DON'T CRY.
HE DID NOT CRY.
BUT HE STARTED TO, BUT HE WOULD NOT CRY.
IT WAS, YOU KNOW, MANY YEARS LATER IT WAS DURING THE FIRST
GULF WAR WHEN HIS PTSD KIND OF ERUPTED TO A DEGREE THAT I GUESS
HAD ONLY BEEN PREVIOUSLY SEEN BEFORE I WAS BORN, WHICH WAS
LIKE FULL DISFUNCTION.
IT BECAME FINALLY OBVIOUS THAT WE NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING.
HE DID.
THAT'S WHEN HE REACHED OUT TO THE V.A., AND HE REACHED OUT TO
VETERAN'S EDUCATION PROJECT.
THE VFW AND VETERANS FOR PEACE -- HE REACHED OUT IN EVERY
DIRECTION TO SEE WHAT THERE WAS AND WHERE WOULD THE CHIPS FALL
FOR HIM, WHERE DID HE FEEL SUPPORTED, AND LIKE HE COULD
MAKE THE CONTRIBUTION THAT HE WANTED TO MAKE TO SOCIETY WITH
HIS STORIES, WITH HIS EXPERIENCES.
HE ENDED UP WITH THREE CAROUSALS OF SLIDES FROM ONE OF HIS BEST
VIETNAM BUDDIES.
MULTIPLE TIMES PER WEEK MY DAD AND I WOULD SIT OUT IN THE BARN
AND HE WOULD JUST FLIP FLEW THE SLIDES AND CRY AND TELL ME THE
STORIES.
HE TOLD ME YOU KNOW, HE FINALLY TOLD ME ALL THE STORIES.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE BONDING.
I FEEL LIKE I AM ONE OF THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO
GETS TO SIT WITH A WAR VET AND FEEL THEIR PAIN.
FEEL THEIR PASSION.
FOR A PERSON WHO IS SO FRAUGHT WITH PAIN, TO FIND PEACE,
GETTING TO BE PART OF THAT EXPERIENCE FOR MY DAD AND EVEN
FOR SOME OTHER PEOPLE ALONG THE JOURNEY HAVE BEEN -- YOU CAN'T
EVEN DESCRIBE THE MAGNITUDE OF THE BLESSING.
THAT'S THE FIRST THING I SAY WHEN I LEARN SOMEONE IS A
VETERAN, A WAR VETERAN OR OTHERWISE IS THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE.
WHEN I HEAR IT, IT MAKES ME CHOKE UP.
WHEN I SAY IT, IT MAKES ME JUST OVERFLOW WITH GRATITUDE AND WITH
EMOTION AND ALSO WITH UNDERSTANDING FOR WHAT THAT
PERSON -- SOME UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT THAT PERSON MIGHT BE FACING
IN THEIR LIFE BUT ALSO WHAT THEIR DAUGHTERS AND SONS ARE
FACING AND WHAT THEIR WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FACING AND WHAT
THEIR COMMUNITIES ARE FACING AND JUST THE ISOLATION THAT THE
PERSON MIGHT BE FEELING.
I JUST ALWAYS HOPED THAT I CAN REACH THROUGH THAT ISOLATION AND
HAVE THAT CONNECTION FOR JUST A MOMENT AND LET THEM KNOW THAT
ALTHOUGH THEY ARE SACRIFICING, SOMEBODY APPRECIATES IT.