Pew: What's up GAMERS?
You like video games?
(In a shitty ad voice) Wha~at? But you never played tuber - hehe
Pewd: We're here to review E3 2019
Xbox , Playsta-
I didn't look at PlayStation, Did they have theirs yet?
Waman: Sony isn't attending E3 2019.
Pewds: Oh, okay well that saves me some time, Jesus (Skratta)
Let's start off with Bethesda
Guy 1: With a game, there is no "game" without the Players.
Guy 2: Really, it all comes down to you
Guy 1: You keep us in check!
Pewds: You keep us in check, it's basically a code for:
"Yeah, we made some shitty games"
Guy 2: And through all of it,
Waman 2: You're always there with us.
Guy 3: You are definitely not afraid to tell us how you feel!
Pewds: HAHAHHAHA *Has breakdown*
What did Fallout 76 get in rating again?
TWO POINT SEVE- *has multiple breakdowns*
*Inhale*
Oh my god
BRUH
Guy 1: Your feedback sometimes challenges us
But it forces us to be- always challenging ourselves
*Guy screams*
Waman 2:You empathize with u-
*Copies scream*
Pewds: This whole- conference to me just sounded like:
"We're- we're still friends right? Sorry about that really bad game with it
But, we're still cool right? Like, w- we're all friends here?"
ANNOUNCER: Our 5th annual E3 showcase. (Applause and cheers)
DISSAPOINTED PEWDS: Get off the stage we want Todd!!!
YEAAAAAHHHHHH
It's Todd Howard! ^ㅅ^
Todd: Great to see everybody!
Pewds: Did you guys know Todd Howard was in the chess club?
TODD: Who's laughing now? (Laughs awkwardly)
Yes, I was in the Chess Club.
TODD: We have had an incredibly exciting year at Bethesda Game Studios.
Given some of that excitement, (I'm) impressed You're still here.
(Audience laughs)
I. Love. Him. Hihi-ye-he-heah!
All the bad games are totally fine, as long as Todd Howard makes a joke about it.
See, that's the face you make when you have a game rated 2.7
TODD: Actually, over the last year, we've had over 60 million players in our games
Pewds: Wow :3
If they have over 60 million play-
How can we say something good about this situation?
*Has autism* Oh god! Anything.
Oh we have this many players? O_O
But did they have fun?
We have a lot of players!!!
Those core trend buzzwords mean like
*Pewds imitates Bethesda* "Everything is great! Er, Everything is good, we have lot of players!
Whats that, only 41% of them like the game?
But there were so many of them!
TODD: A type of game (That) we've never done before
Had a lot of difficulties at launch.
Pewds: "We had a lot of difficulties at launch."
Oh really? You don't say:
"Could we edit it out-
-Oh shit!
-Oh my god! Oh!
-I guess we can't edit it out, this means (inaudible) -Holy shit! - We're working shit hard.
-That is amazing! -Oh my god! -What just happenned?
-Alright. What's going on here?
-Ohh no!
-Yeah, I don't know what's up with that.
-Ohhh what the heck?
-Ruun, run
-Whoooo!
TODD: A lot of well deserved criticism
(Crowd applauses)
Pewds: Yeahh! your game not good
TODD: The team kept working on it
And YOU kept playing it
Pewds: Well maybe if you stopped releasing unfinished games, TODD
*Imitates Todd* "But the development team were working on it and they were-"
Pewds: They should have just done it from the beginning, Todd!
You're making me angry Todd!
And then, in comes these two guys
I don't know, they just said a couple things
And, one guy had an awkward laugh before
*Creepy laugh*
-Hi, I'm
(HEheehhehe)
It's kind of cute :). (laughs)
(laughs awkwardly) Hehehehe
(Hehheh)
But speaking of cute...
Thank you, ありがとうございます～("thank you")
Crowd: woooo!
Pwds: CUUTE!
-Hahahaa
I asked myself this question every time I go to the office!
Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.
We are very excited, let's take a look. 見てね～ ("take a look!")
Thank you! Bye-bye!
okay about the game and then for some reason the yang
started just amping up I don't know who this guy is I don't know why people are
so excited
Thanks thank you everyone wow thank you and gaming the Elder
(random yeahs from the audience)
Scrolls online has dragons dragons of the world of Tamriel what happens next
check out elsewhere the latest shackles new players
yeah well a necromancer everyone say yeah everyone saying they had a paid
audience they're clearly just trolling like for then keep an eye out for a
dungeon DLC adventure called scale breaker which you'll see in August
nobody Bethesda III crowd some more awkward laughs anyone you would like
some okay here we go
you think I'm gonna talk about the games really no one cares this is like we're
talking about commercials then they brought out the I think the most swedish
person they could find after liberating America from the Nazi scum in
Wolfenstein to the new Colossus hello everyone we don't all talk like that all
right after killing all the Nazi scum in this
video game it there this year we take you back to Europe with two new
Wolfenstein games we take you back to your why is it funny it's not even funny
even more evil Nazis to kill Wow God that was beautiful
out of thousands of people in the audience they're like okay that girl
show her in the center now never seen someone so enthusiastic you know that's
a girlfriend being dragged into this just kidding all these people they don't
have girlfriends because they're gamers brofist if you're a gamer too and then
finally we get to the doom stuff that's the good stuff that's right that's the
game this whole time I mean like come on dude
you know it's innovation and creativity is in our DNA and a very large neck
Jesus Christ look at that thing my god sorry and all of these advances work as
a big net come on all right moving on we got EA EA was so goddamn painful to
watch it's four hours give you give me the hot babes let's get
it goin yeah yeah we're talking about Star Wars they're making a Star Wars
game it's Star Wars it's a Star Wars game please keep it go
and they're making a Star Wars game wow that's so cool
so the added Greg get Greg I know his name is Greg instead of that guy from
last year I guess they listened to feedback so you know I gotta appreciate
that EA the guy from last year I mean come on why didn't you rehire him I
don't understand
bring back III 2018 guy come on it's like they picked up they don't know the
cringe right they're like alright how can we reduce the cringe please I don't
like yo everybody's anxious to see what this 15 minutes is going to be listen we
have more maps so let's deliver a brand new one to you this is Alison dead yeah
without the cream sisters boring I don't care the fight no yeah you were supposed
to deliver I'm so disappointed we can't wait - let me play it
yeah hahaha that's the true excitement yeah come on this is why you need to
hire the Ubisoft people she just want to see if skate 4 is happening or not I get
it on the same where we skateboard of course we're gonna come to a play we've
got a booth out there look at the guy in the backcountry to play it you know
doesn't matter what we think it only matters what the players think they're
the ones playing the game so if they love it great and if they don't they'll
tell us the feedback and we'll do our best to address it well thank you Ben
get back to work I want everybody right now this is serious
okay there's a serious your hands together because joining us here on the
stage here in just a moment is one of the best wide receivers on the planet
from the Pittsburgh Steelers from the University of Southern California a
hardcore mad and fan ladies and gentlemen all the way in the back give
it up for juju Smith juju us the juju of course wow that's so sick I brought a
couple of codes here for juju we're gonna give juju some codes as well we're
also gonna be sharing on social channels check that out juju dispenser there he
goes those I don't know that you're gonna get
those back that's kind of the point of giving them out sorry okay okay we're
gonna kick to somebody else for this announcement oh yeah here's Joey
Graceffa producer and content creator youtuber I love this they learned from
last year we need a youtuber for this make a pretty recorded goddammit
thank you yeah what up guys thank you for having me EA and Need for Speed
payback if you guys didn't know HP payback I'm but um yeah it's great game
and I'm so excited to announce this upcoming partnership with one of my
favorite games so this summer the Sims is actually partnering with the UM this
is why I'm proud to be a gamer this is to me what gaming is all about
where's his fucking gaming channel did this become his gaming channel bring
back shirtless Joey Graceffa gaming please welcome back everyone to another
episode of sim stem Anya so in the for some reason seems that try to do a JK
Rowling and pretended that they have always been pro-ltte so this is a
wonderful opportunity to bring new content in the game to celebrate that
definitely and I think also people don't realize how important it is sometimes
you know when you're kind of growing up and you're figuring out who you are
you're discovering what kind of person you are and discovering you know about
your sexuality and be able to kind of sort of role play within games is a
really really safe place to do that so you know you guys have been doing it
pretty much from the start way before everyone else so it's really great I
mean is that great to see so so great yeah
well it's something we're very proud of and having what are you talking about
then we have Xbox Xbox it's such a weird cult around Xbox I really don't get it
like these people in the crowd go in ok bye
yeah boo boo like overall he was a pretty boring conference there's not
much to say about it I didn't really want letting to send a bird about
anything oh my god it's Keanu Reeves yay
oh my god he's there
these welcome here uh-huh Keanu's the best I love him so much
oh my god the screams please Jesus stop oh my god that was actually me I was
there that would actually be me if I'm in Canada but the best part of course
let me tell you was this the feeling of of being there
of walking the streets of the future is really going to be breathtaking did he
just say embrace thank you then my booty came out he's welcome
there's nothing really to say about it but his name is Matt booty so I thought
it was worth it head of Xbox game studios Matt
Taha his name is bode September 10th oh wow
Gears of War 5 that's so awesome oh why even bother then came in hello I'm
French and I don't know what to do with my hands hello everyone yes we've got
your back new content free updates and many
surprises inspired by our community and I was III pretty much in a nutshell 2019
it's pretty disappointing I feel like they've learned it's it's year they're