>> Stephen: I LIKE THE LITTLE RUNWAY TURN YOU GAVE US RIGHT
NOW.
>> WELL, I'M EXHAUSTED SO I'M TRYING TO GOOSE MYSELF.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
YEAH.
>> Stephen: WOW.
THAT'S A SIN.
I LIKE POPPING THE JACKET.
YOU'VE GOT A VEST ON.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I LIKE THE GUEST WHO GOES THE EXTRA MILE AND ADDS
ANOTHER LAYER OF FABRIC ON HIS BODY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED YOU TO BE VERY CLASSY.
I SAY THAT SINCERELY.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
O I WORE A THREE-PIECE SUIT TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.
>> Stephen: WELL, I FEEL SCANDALOUSLY UNDERDRESSED.
I'M GOING TO BUTTON UP.
PSH AW!
>> Stephen: I FEEL DRESSED FOR SUMMER.
AT THE END OF THE DAY THE MEAT FALLS RIGHT OFF THE WORK.
>> IT'S MY BASTING OUTFIT.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A LITTLE END TABLE NICK MADE FOR US.
GORGEOUS WORK.
( APPLAUSE ) NOW, YOU'RE KNOWN FOR YOUR --
( LAUGHTER ) ARE WE KEEPING AN OKAY SHAPE
OR -- >> LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
RETAINING ITS LUSTER.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME YOU GAVE ME THESE BEAUTIFUL OFFERMAN WOOD
SHOP -- DO YOU WANT TO THROW THAT OVER THERE?
>> LOVE TO.
>> Stephen: WE'LL PUT ONE ON HERE.
>> NO RINGS ON THAT BAD BOY.
>> Stephen: NOT THAT I HAVE TO PROTECT MY PLASTIC DESK BUT
FEELS REALLY NICE.
>> THAT'S THE RIGHT IDEA.
>> Stephen: SO I LOVE WATCHING THE VIDEOS YOU MAKE OF MAKING A
CANOE.
YOU'RE A MAN IN FULL.
WHERE DID THIS NEED TO MAKE THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS COME
FROM?
>> I GREW UP IN AN MAZING FAMILY CENTERED AROUND MY MOM'S FAMILY
FARM.
THEY RAISE CORN, SOYBEANS AND USED TO HAVE PIGS.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
O I GREW UP WITH MEN AND WOMEN USING TOOLS IN THE GARDEN,
KITCHEN, IN THE BARN, THESE PEOPLE CREATING A LIFE WITH
THEIR HANDS, AND, SO, EVEN THOUGH I TRAIPSED OFF TO THEATER
SCHOOL TO BECOME A DANCER -- ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WAS DANCE GOING TO BE YOUR FIRST CHOICE?
>> AND STILL HAVE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE BASICALLY A HOOFER.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M ON MY WAY.
BUT WHILE I HAVE BEEN STUDYING THE STAGE ARTS, I'VE ALWAYS MADE
A LIVING USING TOOLS, CARPENTER, BUILDING FURNITURE.
IT SATISFIES A FA MILLIAL NEED.
I CAN HOLD UP MY HEAD AROUND MY FAMILY.
THEY DON'T CARE IF I'VE DONE SHAKESPEARE BUT IF I BUILT A
TABLE THEY SAY, COME ON, IN LET'S GET YOU A BEER.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I ADMIRE
CARPENTERS.
THERE IS ONE PARTICULAR CARPENTER I LOOK UP TO.
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: I THINK YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.
HARRISON FORD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> HARRISON FORD, JESUS AND
MYSELF ARE THE BIG THREE SHOW BUSINESS CARPENTERS.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, THE LAST TIME YOUR OPINION ON HERE, YOU
WERE WITH YOUR LOVELY WIFE.
>> BLESS HER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SHE'S O ON THE NEW
BIG HIT "WILL AND GRACE."
THAT SHOW IS GOING TO GO SOMEPLACE.
>> THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU GUYS ARE
LOOKING AWFULLY SERIOUS.
ARE YOU GOING TO ROB WOOD STOCK?
WHAT IS THIS PHOTO FOR?
>> I HAVE ROBBED WOOD STOCK.
I WOULD ADVISE AGAINST IT.
UNLESS YOU LIKE ROLLING PAPERS.
>> Stephen: YEAH, DON'T STEAL THE BROWN ACID.
>> NO, WE'RE WEARING OUR BUFFS BECAUSE WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO THE
SURVIVOR FINALE.
>> Stephen: OH.
YOU ARE A FAN OF THE SURVIVOR.
>> WE'RE HUGE FANS OF SURVIVOR.
PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER PERHAPS THAT SURVIVOR WAS THE ORIGINAL
REALITY SHOW BEFORE THEY GOT CRAPPY.
>> Stephen: WAS IT 99?
WERE WITH WE COMING UP ON 20 YEARS OF SURVIVOR?
>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER WHEN IT STARTED OVER HERE AND I REMEMBER
GOING LIKE, THAT'S STUPID, THEN IT BECAME THE BIGGEST THING ON
THE PLANET.
>> WE LOVE IT.
MEGAN IS A GREAT CURATOR OF TELEVISION AND SHE HAS ALWAYS
STUCK WITH IT AND I AGREE, I'M HER DISCIPLE, I LEARN AT HER
FEET, AND WE'RE CRAZY ABOUT SURVIVOR.
JEFF PROBST IS THE GREATEST TEAM CAPTAIN WE'VE EVER SEEN IN THIS
COUNTRY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.
>> WHEN I WANT TO CHEER MEGAN UP, I RUN INTO THE OTHER ROOM
AND YELL, COME ON IN, GUYS!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S HIS
CATCH PHRASE.
>> THAT'S THE CATCH PHRASE.
>> Stephen: SO WOULD YOU WANT TO BE ON?
>> I FANTASIZED ABOUT BEING ON SURVIVOR, AND ON ONE HAND I
THINK I COULD BUILD, YOU KNOW, A THREE-STORY SPLIT LEVEL FOR THE
OTHER CONTESTANTS.
I'D BUILD A WATER WHEEL SO WE COULD ACTUALLY POWER APPLIANCES.
>> HOW LONG WOULD THAT TAKE YOU.
IT WOULD TAKE A DAY AND A HALF OR TWO.
I MEAN, IT WOULDN'T BE QUICK BY ANY STRETCH.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOU RECALL STRATEGY?
ARE YOU ONE OF THE GUYS THAT GETS NAKED RIGHT AWAY AND FREAKS
EVERYBODY OUT?
>> NO, UNLESS I URGENTLY NEEDED TO GET A LAUGH FROM THE GROUP, I
WOULD STAY CLOTHED.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
THE SOCIAL GAME COULD BE MY DOWNFALL BECAUSE EITHER I WOULD
GO WITH INTEGRITY WHICH WOULD BE MY NATURE JUST TO TELL IT LIKE
IT IS, BUT THOSE PEOPLE NEVER WIN.
YOU HAVE TO BE A BACKSTABBING SNAKE TO WIN THE GAME.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
O I COULD CALL UPON MY CLASSICAL TRAINING AND BECOME A
MACHIAVELLIAN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
IT WOULD BE WORTH A TRY.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT MEGAN, WOULD SHE WANT TO GO?
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
SHE LIKES IT IN OF DOORS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IN OF DOORS?
YEAH.
>> Stephen: INSTEAD OF OUT OF DOORS?
>> YEAH, INSIDE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE NEW
MOVIE "HEARTS BEAT LOUD."
IT PREMIERES TOMORROW.
WHAT'S THE MOVIE ABOUT?
>> I AM SO PROUD OF THIS MOVIE.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, LOVING DOSE OF MEDICINE.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN THE NEWS RECENTLY.
>> Stephen: TRY NOT TO.
BUT THERE'S A LOT OF CRAPPY PARTS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE BUMMED OUT AND STRESSED BECAUSE OF THE
UPROAR OUR NATION IS IN MORALLY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
AND THIS MOVIE LETS YOU FORGET ABOUT THAT.
IT'S A VACATION FROM ALL OF THE DIRTY THINGS THAT ARE GOING ON.
IT'S A STORY OF A SINGLE DAD PLAYED BY ME AND HIS DAUGHTER
PLAYED BY KEARSEY CLEMENS, WHO WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF, AND
THAT'S BEFORE SHE STARTS SINGING.
WHEN SHE STARTS SINGING YOUR SOCKS WILL SLIP ON AND YOUR HAT
WILL FLY OFF.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A FATHER DAUGHTER BAND, RIGHT?
>> WE'RE A BAND.
MY DREAM IS TO GO TO COLLEGE AND SHE WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR.
I'M TRYING TO GET HER TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE AND A ROCK STAR
WITH ME SO THAT'S THE CONFLICT.
THE STORY IS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR DREAMS DON'T QUITE
COME TRUE, CAN YOU FIND HAPPEN NECESSARY AND LOVE.
>> Stephen: SHE'S BRUSHING HER TEETH, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> SHE'S BRUSHING HER TEETH, WE HAD AN AMAZING MUSIC SESSION,
I'M UNFLAPPABLY CONVINCE HERRING WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BAND.
>> Stephen: OKAY, JIM.
I'M OFF TO WORK.
NO.
COME ON.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
>> YOU HAVE BEEN WANTING TO TRY TO START A BAND WITH ME SINCE I
WAS 12.
>> AND AS GREAT AS SANDWICH AND FRANK COULD HAVE BEEN, WE'RE
LEGIT.
WE'RE BETTER NOW.
WE SHOULD COME UP WITH A COOLER NAME.
>> WE'RE NOT A BAND.
WE'RE NOT A BAND?
I LIKE IT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, NICE NAME.
( APPLAUSE ) NOW, BEFORE I LET YOU GO, BEFORE
I LET YOU GO BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE GOT A LOT MORE MOVIE
SELLING TO DO, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
MY STAFF IS QUITE PROUD BECAUSE THEY HAD ADMIRE YOU AS A
WOODWORKER AS DO I, AND INSPIRED BY YOU THEY BUILT A BENCH TO PUT
ON.
WE'VE GOT A LITTLE ROOF GARDEN ON THE BUILDING.
THEY BUILT A BENCH TO GO ON THE ROOF GARDEN AND THEY WANT YOU TO
APPRAISE IT.
LET'S BRING IT OUT HERE AND SHOW YOU WHAT THE GUYS BUILT, OKAY?
( APPLAUSE ) OKAY.
>> LOOK AT THAT!
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
( CHEERING ) >> WELL, UH, IT LOOKS LIKE A
COLLECTION OF STUDS FROM THE HOMEBUILDING STORE THAT ARE
USED -- THOSE ARE THE TWO BY FOURS USED AS THE SLATS.
THEN SOME SORT OF PLASTIC BRACKET CONSTRUCTS THAT ARE
PRETTY NIFTY LOOKING NOW, BUT WHEN THEY END UP IN THE
LANDFILL, ALTHOUGH THEY GO LIKE THAT --
>> Stephen: HOLY COW.
DID YOU KNOW IT DOES THAT?
I HAD NO IDEA.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE IT
DID IT BEFORE YOU MADE IT DO IT.
THAT'S HOW GOOD YOU ARE.
SHALL WE HAVE A SEAT AND SEE IF IT'S COMFORTABLE?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
LET'S TURN THIS THING INTO A LOVESEAT.
>> Stephen: OH.
( APPLAUSE ) "HEARTS BEAT LOUD" IS IN
THEATERS TOMORROW!
NICK OFFERMAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NIECY NASH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )