- Mmm, wah.
- Get outta here! (laughing)
Okay, how about you go color?
- Okay.
That was my son
and today I'm gonna tell you a little bit about him.
It might come as a surprise to a lot
of you that I even have a son because in eight years
of making videos, I've never really put him on camera.
I'm fairly private and protective when it comes
to my family on my channel.
Now you might say, hold up,
you put your niece and nephews on here all the time.
But in my defense, I feel like I've made it pretty clear
at this point that,
(kids screaming, yelling)
(boom!) I don't really care
about them.
(snowballs firing rapidly)
(upbeat rock music)
(boom) (pop)
The reason I'm so protective of him is because
he has special needs.
He is on the autistic spectrum, and this is the internet.
So even as I make this video, I'm incredibly terrified.
But this is something that my wife and I feel really
strongly about.
A lot of times when people hear he has autism
they want to know what he's really good at.
Like does he have a photographic memory or can he do really
complex math in his head?
For example, if you tell my son's friend any date
from any year, okay, he will tell you the day
of the week it lands on.
Gonna randomly generate a date.
June 2nd, 2004.
What day,
is that on?
- Wednesday.
(laughs)
- It's gonna take me a second even to get there.
What did I say?
June 2nd, 2004.
You said Wednesday.
Here's June, June 2nd, 2004.
Let's do one more okay?
I'm gonna generate another random date.
May 26th, 2006
- Um,
Friday.
- (laughing) And there he goes.
What did I even say?
May 5th?
- Um,
May 26th,
2006. - Oh, May 26th. (laughs)
Okay.
His parents and teachers have no idea how he has
the ability to do this, and he doesn't know how
to communicate that to us either.
- I need some help too.
- You need some help?
Okay, let's go make Play Dough.
It's actually a common misconception, but the truth is
the majority of the kids on the autistic spectrum
don't have remarkable abilities like this.
Our son, however, does have a remarkable ability, although
if you see him in public, this ability isn't immediately
apparent. A lot of times when he is around lots of people or
in a crowded place, he might look disengaged
or it might seem like he doesn't
really know what's going on.
Carly Fleischmann has autism and was able to
explain why this is, and what you should know
about Carly is that because of her erratic behavior and
because she can't speak for years, people thought she was
just severely autistic
and had other extreme mental handicaps.
Until one day when they put her in front
of a computer where she could type.
And then they realized there was so much
more going on in her head
than anyone could have imagined.
- [Carly] I am autistic, but that is not who I am.
Take time to know me before you judge me.
- [Mark] This amazing breakthrough made it so Carly was
able to explain how it feels to have autism.
- [Carly] Our brains are wired differently.
We take in many sounds and conversations at once.
I take over a thousand pictures
of a person's face when I look at them.
That's why we have a hard time looking at people.
- Basically, people with autism don't have a filter
in their brain like the rest of us.
So if you and I were having a conversation here
in this park, I can ignore everything around me
and just focus on your voice.
But if I had autism, I would hear the ice cream man
ringing the bell behind me, and the kid crying
'cause he is not getting any ice cream.
And the cars going by,
and the plane up there as well as the train
in the distance, not to mention all of the different smells,
and the fact that the tag
on my shirt is kind of rubbing on my back.
It's sensory overload and everything comes in all at once
and it's really overwhelming and makes it hard to focus.
This is why headphones can be really helpful
at a place like Disneyland, but at home, when he is
in a familiar environment without a bunch of distractions
you start to get a glimpse of who he really is.
You wouldn't know this from seeing him in public
but he loves to laugh
to the point that sometimes he can't even breathe.
- Whee!
(laughing)
- [Mark] This is us doing our nightly bedtime routine.
He loves routine and repetition
because it's familiar and predictable, which makes sense
because his brain knows what to expect
and it doesn't need to filter.
And as a dad, his love of repetition is the best
because my same jokes totally kill every time.
Some of these I've used easily hundreds of times
and I still get this response.
I have a name, oh, I'm sorry, turtle.
(laughs)
- This leads to his remarkable ability I mentioned earlier
and it has to do with how he spends his free time
at home by himself.
When he first meets someone, he will ask important questions
like what your favorite color is
and if your house has stairs, then the first chance he gets
he will make you a full page mural, completely covered
in about two pounds of your favorite crayon color
and he'll write you a personal letter on the back.
As you can see, he takes this job pretty seriously
and so we are constantly running
out of envelopes and stamps.
What's so remarkable to see as his parents is how
happy people become when they get one of his letters.
And the letters themselves certainly
aren't any literary masterpiece
but people know they mean something special coming from him.
Most kids who are 12 years old, they get home
from school and they're on their phones
or they're thinking about themselves and how to look cool.
But his biggest thrill is interacting with others.
His superpower is making other people happy.
He also makes people better.
Birthday parties are a really big deal for him
even if it's not his.
And everyone is always compassionate and patient
with him so he can make sure things happen just right.
- Oh no, Oh no,
Try again.
- Having a child with special needs can be challenging
at times, and certainly some cases
out there are much harder than others.
But his mom has always done a great job
of finding and focusing on the best parts
about our son, and then making sure other people can see
and celebrate those parts as well.
Regardless of your religious or political beliefs
or your favorite sports team or any other way
we like to divide ourselves into tribes,
I think we can all agree that a successful life
is one where you leave the world better than you found it.
Sort of a net positive effect due to your influence.
There's a lot of normal functioning people who are critical
and seek to tear others down or who have made a ton
of money, but are just terrible people.
And by my definition, they're not successful.
People with special needs might not fit
the traditional criteria of success
by benefiting GDP or getting a PhD
to cure disease,
but they have such a net positive effect
on the people that get to interact with them.
They personify traits like perseverance
such as with Jason here, who has autism
and was the dutiful sports equipment manager for four years.
So the coach put him in
for the last four minutes of the game his senior year.
He sank, not one, not two, but six three pointers
including one right at the final buzzer for performances
supportive classmates will remember for the rest
of their lives.
People with special needs, ground the rest of us
and demonstrate the simple joys life can offer.
- Santa!
- Hey buddy, how are you?
- With our hectic schedules and task lists,
it reminds us that things
don't have to be that complicated.
- I love you kiddo.
- I love you too Papa.
- [Mark] Or in the case of Carly
that our initial critical snap judgments
of each other might be totally wrong.
My son will never be the star of his little league team.
He won't be the first person to step foot on Mars
nor will he invent the cure to cancer.
But by the best definition of success, I can think of, him
and his special needs buddies and everyone else out there
like them, are giants living amongst us mere mortals.
They make the world a better place,
and we're lucky to have them.
Thank you for watching the video.
If it resonated with you in some way, please share it
with someone in your life who you know might benefit
from hearing the message.
I also have a very exciting announcement.
It's super distracting if you're mouthing all my lines.
- I was doing that?
- Yeah, just hold the cards.
- Or I can sit.
You don't mind right?
- I mean, do I have a choice?
This is your house.
- Oh yeah, this is my house.
Alright, Mark and I will be co-hosting
a three hour live stream for charity
on Mark's YouTube channel on April 30th, Friday
5:00 PM Pacific, 8:00 PM Eastern.
You can figure out all the other times
we'll be doing this together.
- [Mark] It's called Color the Spectrum.
'cause you know my son likes to color
and we'll also be joined by some folks you might have heard
of such as MrBeast, the D'Amelio Sisters, JackSepticEye.
- I have a friend named Jack that will be joining us too.
Jack Black, Conan O'Brien
Stephen Colbert, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock.
- Heard of him.
Not to mention John Stewart, John Oliver, MirandaSings,
Sarah Silverman, Mark Hamill, Andy Samberg, iJustine,
Maya Rudolph, Terry Crews, Paul Rudd
and Zach Freaking Galifianakis.
(wheezing)
We'll also be joined by these folks as well.
- I'll be there. - I'll be there.
- I'll be there. - We'll, we'll be there.
- I'll be there. - Well, I'll be there too.
- I'll be there. - Hey, Vsauce, I'll be there.
- I'll be there.
- I know you already said my name, but I'll be there.
- All of the proceeds are going to a really great
a well-respected charity called, Next for Autism who
specialize in supporting folks on the autism spectrum
as they transition into becoming adults.
- [Jimmy] There are resources for kids
and teens affected by autism
but there isn't much for adults.
- Yeah, it kind of drops off,
so selfishly, my son is coming up on that milestone.
So if you've ever wanted to support my channel financially
I don't have a Patreon, so this is the most meaningful way
you can do it.
So click the blue donate button over there or down there
and we can start raising funds now
even before the big live stream coming.
- It's gonna be a lot of fun.
We're bringing the biggest stars of social media
and old people media together for a great night
great prizes, and most importantly, we're going to
raise an actual ton
of money to help some special people who could use it.
- So follow the link in the video description
for more information.
Get pumped, go donate, and we'll see you there.
- I'm already pumped.
- As am I.
(upbeat music)