[Music]
hi i'm kyle kittleson the host at med
circle your most
trusted source for mental health
education and information
this is my dog cali as part of youtube's
find away with me campaign i'll be
sharing
five research-backed strategies for
improving your mental health that you
can implement
today but listen so much of the
information out there
especially on wellness doesn't
necessarily come
from credible sources med circle does
the work of sifting through the noise
and providing science-based ways to
actually improve
your mental health the strategies you're
about to learn comes straight from
world-renowned psychologists
and psychiatrists and while i walk
through these five techniques i want you
to leave a comment below this video with
an example of how you can practice one
of these strategies this will help other
people think of ways to implement these
strategies in their own lives that being
said
let's get into it this tip is from one
of my favorite
videos we're all facing levels of stress
that are out of the ordinary and this
stress
leads to what psychologists call
negative automatic thoughts we might not
even realize we're having them but they
still play a
huge role in our mental health research
even shows that negative automatic
thoughts
are linked to increased levels of
depression and because of social
distancing measures we're just sitting
with these negative thoughts so we may
catastrophize our situation even more
in our first clip triple board certified
neuropsychologist dr judy ho
shows us a groundbreaking way to avoid
harmful emotions
behavior or relationships all by
focusing
on your thoughts this strategy is called
cognitive diffusion
let's take a look what is it well
cognitive diffusion is actually
probably the most unique element to act
and it's because it really thinks about
how we utilize language and how often
times we spend
way too much time using language by
sort of looking from them instead of
looking
at them who language
so thoughts cognitive events
we spend time looking
from a thought as opposed to looking at
a thought
as an event as an external thing that
isn't us we have a thought and we
immediately think from that thought okay
assuming it's already true what does
that mean about me what does that mean
about the world what does that mean
about my tomorrow what does that mean
about my past as opposed to
oh interesting there's a thought right
there this is blowing my mind
this blew my mind when i first learned
about it this is so good we normally
respond from a thought yeah we
we act from a thought yes
i'm depressed it is true
i'm going to this person hates me
that is true so i'm going to behave
instead of
i'm having a thought that this person
does not like me
where we look at the thought yes
exactly okay and that's hard to do see
it's unnatural we kind of have to
yeah i i had to say it now a lot yeah
and i think that that
is inherent in a lot of human suffering
is the fact that we look from these
thoughts so when we have a thought
and it's negative we take it to be true
and if we're acting from it it can lead
to a lot of cascades of negative
consequences
some of the examples you're already
given if you think somebody hates you
and you're acting from that thought you
might say well you're not so great
either and then you get into a conflict
with that person
or you say well forget it i'm just gonna
throw up my hands and never talk to this
person again
i'm just gonna disengage from them and
yet all of this came from a thought
and not even what the objective reality
might be
and so cognitive diffusion is all about
taking a step back
and saying this is just a mental event
and i can choose now what to do
knowing that it's just my mind
producing a thought and my mind produces
20 000 plus thoughts a day do i act on
all of them
no it's just a mental event yeah like dr
judy says
it's all about viewing our thoughts as
external mental events
they don't need to drive our response to
the world if we don't let them
rise above these thoughts and they
become easier to manage
wow she does not care about cognitive
diffusion
cali sit turn around
good stay okay ready
many of us are spending a lot more time
with family
with stress and anxiety on the rise this
can cause tension
at home so how do we manage stress that
starts at home
and if we're suffering from anxiety
during the pandemic how do you talk to
your family about it
clinical psychologist dr romini is a
relationship expert
and here's what she has to say obviously
all mental illness
and mental health issues have some
impact on a family right
because at that time somebody's not
doing well but then let's say that more
broadly
illness and health problems have impacts
on on family systems somebody
may not be able to engage in their
parental roles or somebody may need to
be taken care of
compromises need to be made i don't care
if that's somebody who's chronic back
pain somebody with depression
somebody who's living with cancer
diabetes anxiety disorder
borderline personality disorder well
there are i mean obviously there are
things that
that make a family healthier respect
um connection empathy
cooperation compromise
it's you know it because a family's a
unique system right you you
for people they develop they they're
born into it they grow up in it
um it's how they're shaped and so those
things like
healthy attachments creating secure and
safe spaces so if i were to bring it
down to a few words it would really be
safety
consistency and empathy um
it would be a cultivation of interests
you know because
you care about what other people in the
family are interested in you don't just
love them because they do the things
that you're interested in it's avoiding
things like
criticism and you know cruel especially
cruel criticism
it's learning ways to talk things
through it's healthy communication
those are the things that make a healthy
family i think people are
are willing to do that for their
families but it is but it does wear them
out
yeah i'm calling and no matter what and
we all wear each other out
but it does wear them out and that's
where the family has to then be aware
it's okay to take care of you in fact
it's important
listen kyle love is at its core about
compromise
you love someone enough it doesn't feel
like a sacrifice it just feels like love
wow you're so good you're so good
learning how to communicate with your
family and friends about mental health
is the first
step in managing anxiety and maintaining
your relationships during the pandemic
plus like dr romini says it's okay to
accept that this won't always
be easy over here
come here good good
hey simmer many of us are facing burnout
and a lack of motivation during the
pandemic i get it
i mean we used to film on entire sets
with a crew but
now we're filming using computers and
phones in a hotel room but
we make do with what we got in our next
clip dr judy ho
highlights two key strategies in staying
motivated
and avoiding burnout one of them really
surprised me so let's take a look
well i always think that it should start
with what are your values you know we
need to reorient our values if you're
starting to feel
burned out just things are not working
right you feel empty sometimes even
after you reach goals well that's
because if the goals are not sort of
tied to your values which is what
you want your life to stand for the most
important things that you want to
be and represent in your life then
they're not going to have much meaning
and so i think it's always a good idea
to kind of check back in with those
values do the values card sort
see what your top five or six values are
and think about how much in your daily
basis you're actually even making
contact with these values so at work
um yeah if you find that one of your
values is education or learning and
you're just not learning enough at work
oh okay that's the problem again
what can you do what can you reconfigure
so that you can make contact with that
value at work
i love i love this so much because it's
such
a step-by-step process yeah that i know
exactly what to do to get to the result
that i want which is
us feelings of satisfaction at work
feelings of enjoyment of
uh spontaneity of uh just
loving what you're doing and it starts
though with going back to you
yes not going after your work after your
boss after your co-worker after your
patient
it's going back to you to start solving
these problems which
is amazing right you have to center
yourself as much as possible so i think
that that's one thing that i think
everybody can benefit from one of the
other things that you know people
should also think about in terms of
stress management is
you know just getting involved in
hobbies again i feel like sometimes you
get so achievement oriented with your
work like everything has to be a check
off of a box
like what about just doing something
that has really no goal
like you don't have to achieve something
but you just do it for
the enjoyment of it yeah and this is
coming from the queen of achievement by
the way
at the start of the series those are
just some of her achievements she has
even more than that
but you're right it's not just about
that
no and i think that when you get caught
up with that that also can sort of
perpetuate the burnout like
no but i still need to meet this marker
i still have to like make this happen
and i still have to like see this many
patients
but something has to stop at some point
and you can't have everything in your
life be achievement oriented so like
just doing something that is something
that you used to enjoy but like doesn't
actually have a full
clear purpose of checking something off
like sometimes i'll talk to people about
this and they'll like do a hobby that's
still very achievement oriented like
they're like i'm gonna learn ballroom
dancing and i'm gonna learn five songs
and then i'm gonna compete i'm like
not that any of that's bad but like can
you also pick a hobby
where there's no achievement you're just
kind of doing it because it's fun
like what about that like i'm like i
mean not everybody loves this i'm like
what about flying a kite
like there's literally no achievement
really related to that
when you get in here trapeze uh yeah and
i'm not trying to be a circus performer
right
but i'm like i just like doing it for
the fun of it or
people who say well i really like
knitting but i gotta knit five hats i'm
like
or not yeah or just knit and whatever
yeah
and watch the office yeah oh yeah that's
awesome doing that right now actually
i've been rewatching everything all of
the episodes of the office
yes because it's so good that's my
wellness technique
studies show that cultivating values can
lead you to develop intrinsic motivation
which is a predictor of feeling like
your life has meaning
and sometimes the best way to find
motivation is to take time to be
unproductive identifying your values
and finding an unproductive hobby are
two things you can do
right now by the way this advice is
especially helpful to health
professionals and frontline workers who
are facing
high levels of burnout at work as many
kids and teenagers are learning remotely
their mental health may be impacted but
most kids and teens have trouble
communicating feelings of anxiety
or depression your first step is
recognizing that they're trying to tell
you they're feeling anxious or depressed
there is a right way to do this and dr
romney shows you how
in this next clip plus she shares how
you can begin the conversation
if you feel it's needed when it comes to
specifically talking to
your second grader the person watching
this if they're a parent
how would you recommend that they sit
down and talk to their
child about depression anxiety
their introversion if their child's an
introvert and social media and the like
number one talk to your kids in words
using feelings
and encourage them to use feeling words
in other words how was your day i you
know
i i do this conversation with my
daughter every day like we were driving
home how's your day angel tell me what
happened
but if she tells me something that
happened that might have sounded
difficult
how did you feel about that you know i'm
lucky she'll talk about her feelings all
day all night but
you know that that comes from a lifetime
of talking about
feelings my job as a parent and i've
been very mixed at this i've probably
gotten it wrong much more than i've
gotten it right
is listen to my children's feelings
and not try to fix it oh hard a very
hard
so one of my daughters says i'm sad okay
what do we need to do it's like
hold them sit with them maybe even cry
with them
but i've too often tried to fix it and
that was not the right thing to do
so i think that let be with our
children's feelings
and don't try to rush them out the room
like their feelings like say
okay well there's a feeling in the room
let's uh oh it's time to watch
let's go have dinner we as a parent you
have to catch yourself because the
temptation is like i don't know what to
do or
you don't want to see your child sad or
worried or scared
and sometimes if you just let them talk
about it the feeling comes out of them
it just works its way through the same
with adults
husbands and wives and husbands and
husbands and wives and wives do this
with each other all the time and
partners do this all the time
they don't that one starts talking about
the feelings when they start yawning and
looking away
you've got to stay present when people
talk about feelings
that's a really really big one i have an
adorable three-year-old nephew when it
was finally safe to see him
i made it a point to not only ask him
what he was up to
but how different things made him feel
when he was playing when he would get
frustrated
even before and after dinner i would
check in with how he was feeling he
would
start to actually think about that for
the first time at three years old what
that means to feel
happy or feel a little frustrated even
at such a young age
we can start to help those young kids
get in touch with their feelings and
their emotions
listen no parent is perfect but this
strategy can make a tremendous
difference in a child or teenager's
mental health
good girl you stay right there you're
doing good you're earning your paycheck
it's hard to feel good about ourselves
when we're feeling depressed
we blame ourselves overthink our
mistakes or view our actions in the
worst
possible light there's an incredibly
effective but surprising way to combat
these feelings
board-certified psychiatrist dr sue
varma shows you three ways to do this
so i would tell people three things as
supporters give the person
you love help and hope give them
support and help them have fun okay
so hope can come in a variety of ways by
sharing other your own personal
experience and i think that that's
something that people don't do enough is
to say you know what
i've experienced depression i had a
really hard time i found a therapist
i found a community i found exercise
that i really like
i found medication share your story so
provide hope in that way
let them know that you will be there for
them just say i'm here i'm going to help
you get through this we are going to get
through this
together so that's the whole part the
support part is in whatever concrete way
you can offer support if that means
helping them find a therapist online
i've had friends that literally have
said come to my office after work and
when i'm done i will help you we'll put
in your zip code we'll put in your
insurance
like let's find out like who resonates
with you and if you have any expertise
if you have a therapist that you like
and that therapist can recommend
somebody else to your friend
it might even mean taking them to their
first appointment and sitting in the
waiting room it might even mean
if you want you can say i'm happy to
join you with the with the therapy if
you feel strange about it and you want a
second opinion or whatever
so offer support in whatever way you can
and then the fun part for me is the most
fun which is like
asking them those key questions is like
what what do you enjoy doing
when's the last time you did it and can
we do it together so good
really quick and easy and they always
sound obvious
but people don't think i don't think
they they think they're allowed to do it
yes and you have just given them
permission
you can do these things you don't have
to feel uncomfortable and awkward about
somebody else's depression yes you can
give them hope
show them support and then do something
fun with them
yeah i love it there is some amazing
research on this
a recent study shows that when people
focus on compassionate goals
aka goals that aren't selfish they
experience better mental health
and better relationships however when
they focus on
self-image goals or goals that are
focused on gaining status
or gaining approval both symptoms and
relationships
can worsen i was diagnosed with
depression when i was nine years old
and conducting all of these med circle
interviews has taught me a lot but one
thing it's really taught me is the power
of caring for somebody else or someone
else
to get you out of your own head when i
care for cali
it is a mindful experience it is a
nurturing experience for me
and yes it's good for her but the mental
health benefits for me
of caring for a pet cannot be
underestimated
with these five coping strategies in
your toolbox your stress
your anxiety your oppression they can
improve
there is hope i can't wait to read your
comments to see what strategies are
working for you
we're in this together and we can and we
will
get through this i'm kyle kiddleson this
is cali the lab
and remember whatever you're going
through you got this
well dang you're tired huh
she's like no let me let me do the last
line again i'm kyle kiddleson this is
cali the lab
and remember whatever you're going
through you got this