We're back with Sean Hayes, and we are so-- you're honest,
you're funny, and so when you're here, we like to play a game.
This game today is called Sean Blanking Hayes.
All right, I'm going to read a sentence,
and you will have to fill in the blank.
OK, let's see, the first one.
I wish people would stop asking me--
Out.
Oh.
I can't keep them away.
I'm taken!
All right, next one.
If my life had a theme song, it would be--
Um, My Life, by Billy Joel.
Oh, yeah.
That seems to make sense.
It does.
What about you?
I will survive.
Oh, OK.
Yes.
Oh, that's nice.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's really good.
Did you just think of that?
Well, yes.
You just asked me.
That's good.
I'm so fast.
I didn't think you were going to ask me the question,
and I didn't even--
I didn't see this ahead of time.
That's so good.
Next one.
I haven't blank my blank in forever.
Uh, Well I haven't pooped my pants in forever.
Yep.
Thank you.
And yet you thought you soiled the seat.
Funny.
OK.
Next.
My dog must think I'm the most--
Gay.
He must think-- of the two of us,
he must think I'm the most gay, of Scotty and I. Yeah.
What do you do around your dog that's so gay?
Well, look at me.
Look at the frames.
Let's start with the frames.
Were they out of the gay ones?
Yeah.
I mean, look at--
bright, look at me.
I don't think they look like gay frames.
OK.
Next one.
If I could trade places with anyone in the world,
it would be--
Well, Portia.
Oh, you'd be married to me.
I know.
Look at that.
Wouldn't that-- I won't tell Scotty.
OK.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Yes.
Let's get married someday.
OK.
Yeah.
All right.
The biggest thing that changed when I got married was--
My wardrobe doubled, win, win.
Again, if we were married, still double.
We basically dress the same.
All the time.
But do you and Scotty really share clothes?
Why not?
I can't wear his pants, because he's like two feet tall.
He's not two feet tall.
No, I mean, he's a shorter guy.
Is he shorter than you?
Yes.
Have you-- you've met him.
Yes, of course I've met him.
I just don't picture him as being short.
It's hi Sean, hi Scotty.
No.
He's not that short.
OK.
All right.
If it wasn't illegal, I would--
Take stuff.
Yeah.
You can have that.
Thank you.
What would you do?
If it wasn't illegal?
I would--
Just go into stores and just take whatever you want.
Just take stuff.
Yeah, that's probably a good thing.
I think that's the best answer.
OK.
I'm just going to take yours.
OK.
All right.
Something I could never imagine doing is--
Turning on the TV by myself.
I have no idea how any of it works.
I can't do it.
I have no idea how it works.
I mean, it's just too much.
I know where the red power button is--
Let's move on.
No.
I am not-- no, I'm not moving on.
No, I-- he's like, I live with the Genius Bar from Apple.
I'm like, Scotty!
And he's like what?
And he's like--
I'm like, I have no idea.
Or if like, if my phone--
I'll be like, Scotty!
And I'll just throw my phone at him.
And go, It doesn't work.
A remote is literally like the power, and then on.
Like it's just two things.
Yeah, but that's from--
that's from the 70s.
Now--
No.
Yeah, now they're bigger, and there's 25,000 buttons.
I know, but you don't need them all.
They're all like--
Exactly, I don't need them all.
Please tell me which ones I need.
Can't he just mark the 1 and 2, so you--
Well, now you're being crazy.
I'm not going to pick up something that's got a mark,
I'm just going to go, Scotty!
All right.
"Smartless" and "Hypochondriactor"
are both available everywhere you listen to podcasts.
And you're going to want to, because look at this guy.
Listen to this guy.
Crazy.
Yeah.