Hey there, viewers!
You probably know what narcissism is.
For those who don’t, it’s when you’re so self-involved, you ignore those around
you.
Everyone shows narcissistic behavior once in a while.
But true narcissists will frequently disregard others and their feelings.
People often confuse narcissism with narcissistic personality disorder.
Just so you know, they are different.
In today’s video, we’ll be discussing narcissistic personality disorder in detail.
How exactly is it different from narcissism?
What are its symptoms and causes?
How is narcissistic personality disorder diagnosed?
Is there treatment?
We’ll discuss all of these AND more…
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There are several types of personality disorders.
A narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is one of them.
It’s a mental condition where you have an inflated sense of self-importance.
You have a deep craving for excessive attention and admiration.
This quickly leads to troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
If you have NPD, you believe you’re special and deserve extra praise and admiration from
others.
When you don’t get special favors, you feel unhappy and disappointed.
Usually, friends and family see you as snobbish, and may not enjoy being around you.
NPD can cause problems not only in your relationships, but in your career.
The good news is it can be managed with the right treatment.
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How is narcissism different from a narcissistic personality disorder?
The major distinction between them is that a narcissistic person is not mentally ill.
They do not have a personality disorder.
Instead, they are simply interested in getting money and power.
Simply put, narcissistic people are obnoxious because they feel they’re superior to others.
And they see no problem with their behavior.
You’ll find them acting entitled, showing little to no empathy for others.
They will use people around them to get what they want, even if this person is a close
friend.
People with narcissistic personality disorder, on the other hand, do have a mental illness.
They appear on the outside to be confident, but deep within lies fragile self-esteem.
People with NPD are vulnerable to even the slightest criticism.
Let’s say, for example, you make a joke about a new pair of shoes they just bought.
While nobody likes to have their choice of clothing criticized, most people just brush
it off.
They might even joke back.
Your friend on the other freaks out!
This is a sign of a narcissistic personality disorder.
They perceive everything as a personal attack.
They just have too much ego.
There’s another major difference between the two.
While narcissistic people know how to exploit people for personal gain, people with NPD
often end up alienating their friends and family.
They do not function well in public, and feel socially isolated and depressed.
They feel superior and miserable at the same time.
Here’s what an expert has to say about the difference between
the two.
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Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
NPD usually develops in adulthood.
Diagnosing this problem is a challenge, because the person who has it won’t acknowledge
they need help.
It goes against their self-image.
There are certain common symptoms of NPD.
Let’s discuss them one by one.
Pretentious and Boastful
People with NPD always try to one-up you.
You have a story to tell?
They’ll tell one that’s bigger and better than yours.
You had a hard time at work?
Jeez, their day was even worse.
No matter what you say or do, a person with NPD will find a way to top it.
(Pause)
Unfulfilling relationships
Relationships are challenging for people with NPD.
That’s because they’re so focused on themselves, they have little to no room for empathy towards
their partner.
This inability to recognize the needs of others makes the relationship unfulfilling.
There’s also a high chance of them becoming abusive towards their partner.
This is because it’s difficult for a person with NPD to recognize the distorted and unhealthy
patterns of their behavior.
Their relationship goes through three predictable patterns:
Idealizing phase: This is the initial phase of the relationship when the person with NPD
comes off charming and cute.
They overwhelm their partner with grand romantic gestures.
That’s because they have a romanticized idea of the perfect relationship.
It feels like the typical honeymoon phase.
Waning phase: Over time, the honeymoon phase comes to an end.
The lovely gestures stop, and the other partner is often left craving attention.
Instead of getting closer, it seems like both partners are drifting apart.
This is the point where the narcissist’s vulnerability starts showing itself.
During this phase, the narcissistic partner starts noticing even the tiniest imperfections
of their partner.
They make frequent comments over the smallest things, thinking it will help their partner
“improve”.
This can hurt their partner's confidence.
If they don’t reject their partners insults, they will fall prey to them.
This leaves their life in chaos.
Discarding phase: A narcissist will end up disregarding their partner completely.
They have zero consideration for how they feel about anything.
A narcissist may look back at the relationship fondly, but will refuse to take any responsibility
in how they made their partner feel.
This makes them almost impossible to confront.
They just never admit to making a mistake.
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Unhappiness when things don’t go your way
We all get disappointed when things don’t go as we planned.
But if you’re a narcissist, you’ll feel angry and confused when things don’t go
your way.
Narcissists just want control over the situation.
If their plan fails, they begin acting as if they’ve lost all control over their life.
To maintain control, narcissists will keep people at a distance.
This is so someone they regard as more powerful can’t move in and take control for themselves.
Ongoing issues
With a narcissist, the problems just never stop.
Because of their inability to keep the peace with people, they eventually back themselves
into a corner.
This happens in almost every area of their life, whether it’s work, romance, friendship
or finances.
For some, the pressure becomes so overwhelming, they turn to drugs and alcohol.
This only makes the problems worse.
Inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement
People with NPD have an exaggerated sense of self-worth.
They think they’re better than all of us.
Everyone around them should cater to their desires.
This leads them to act entitled.
They want more respect, more credit, and more money, even if they’ve done the same amount
of work as everyone else.
Sometimes, they’ve put in less effort, and still want more recognition.
Narcissistic entitlement has three major components.
At the root, they believe they’re superior to everyone else.
They think they’re different from others, and that makes them superior.
The second component is where they believe they deserve special treatment because of
this superiority.
Finally, the third component has them demanding special resources they feel entitled to.
For example, a narcissist will consider themselves better at their job than their coworkers,
and think they deserve a bigger paycheck compared to their peers.
If they’re place of work isn’t meeting their needs, they will end up going to higher
management, or HR.
While their demands may come off as subtle at first, they will grow more aggressive as
time goes on.
Need for constant admiration and praise
This feeling of superiority makes them want to be admired by the people around them.
For instance, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they want you to recognize
them for all of their positive attributes.
It’s like they want a pat on the back for the most basic things.
v If they took care of you while you were sick,
they will never stop reminding you about the time they helped you.
Even if you’ve returned the favor ten times over.
Exaggerating
Narcissists exaggerate their importance.
This is how they get people to admire them.
They don’t shy away from tooting their own horn.
You may also find them exaggerating their achievements and talent.
This exaggeration isn’t limited to this though.
You may also find them describing everything as either "so amazing" or "so awful," depending
on the situation.
The “amazing” behavior paints them as being the best at everything.
The most hardworking, most dedicated, most passionate, etc.
They go through the “awful” routine to win sympathy and attention.
In short, a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will either be the hero or the victim
of their own fairytale.
It’s all a false narrative that they’ve created.
Pathological liars are sometimes not even aware they’re lying.
If you live with someone who switches between being the hero and the victim, pay attention
to other traits as well.
You could be dealing with a narcissist.
Inability to accept criticism
To be honest, criticism is hard for all of us.
It takes some courage to be able to accept critique, and change your flaws.
For narcissists, it’s entirely different.
They will never think they’re wrong.
To them, they are God’s special gift to this earth.
When pressed a lot, a narcissist will react negatively to criticism.
Narcissists have thin skin, and can react poorly when called out for their bad behavior.
In these situations, a narcissist will either fight or take flight.
They will either throw a temper tantrum, make excuses, OR completely avoid you.
They might even bolt out the door, or give you the silent treatment.
Inability to recognize other’s needs
Narcissists lack empathy for others.
They don’t read people’s feelings well, and fail to recognize when their friends or
loved ones are in need.
This often ends with people drifting away from them.
(Pause)
What causes NPD?
Scientists haven’t been able to identify the exact cause of Narcissistic Personality
Disorder.
NPD can be genetic.
There are certain environmental factors that can contribute to it also.
These are:
Neglect or abuse during childhood Cultural influences
Excessive pampering by parents Unrealistic expectations from parents
(Pause)
Treatment for NPD
Treatment for NPD primarily consists of psychotherapy.
If NPD is accompanied by other symptoms such as depression, anxiety, or other mental health
conditions, appropriate medications will be prescribed by the doctor.
Right now, there are no medications to treat NPD, but can teach a person with NPD to maintain
healthy personal relationships.
It helps them accept and tolerate criticism.
The person will be able to understand and manage their feelings better.
Psychotherapy can also help them cope with their self-esteem issues.
There are other mental health issues that can accompany Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Anxiety is pretty common among them.
You’ll be surprised to know how anxiety can be affected by your diet.
Let’s keep the conversation going with a couple more videos…
Check out 5 Foods To Avoid If You Have Anxiety.
You can also try 12 Things You Are Doing Because Of High Functioning Anxiety.
Go ahead, click one.
Or better yet, watch both, and learn more about how your body works.
Do you know someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Let us know in the comments below…
my name is sam bhagnin i'm the author of malignant self-love narcissism revisited i'm a professor
of psychology several universities on several continents today we are going to discuss the
thorning issue of who exactly is a narcissist if you have narcissistic traits if you have
narcissistic if you display narcissistic behaviors that doesn't make you a narcissist we will
go into it in great depth a bit later aided by giants like theodore millen and others
but suffice it to say at this stage that narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical entity
it is a disease it is a condition and it is rare we don't know exactly how many people
should be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder because narcissists don't present
themselves willingly to therapy only when they are coerced in the prison system by their
own mates and spouses having endured some enormous loss within a life crisis only then
they gravitate to therapy and even then they just want their lives restored they don't
want to be treated they don't consider themselves sick or problematic in any way so we don't
know exactly how many people with narcissistic personality disorder there are but our best
estimates are that something like one to three percent of the population suffer from narcissistic
and antisocial personality disorders combined so when you bandy when you throw around the
word narcissist to describe every a-hole and every jerk and everyone you know every neighbor
who had a fight with you over his dog and every boss who criticize your work and every
person you disagree with and so on that's not good clinical practice it's also not true
symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder npd usually develops in adulthood diagnosing
this problem is a challenge because the person who has it won't acknowledge they need help
it goes against their self-image there are certain common symptoms of npd let's discuss
them one by one number one pretentious and boastful people with npd always try to one-up
you you have a story to tell they'll tell one that's bigger and better than yours you
had a hard time at work jeez their day was even worse no matter what you say or do a
person with mpd will find a way to top it number two unfulfilling relationships relationships
are challenging for people with npd that's because they're focused on themselves they
have little to no room for empathy towards their partner this inability to recognize
the needs of others makes the relationship unfulfilling there's also a high chance of
them becoming abusive towards their partner this is because it's difficult for a person
with npd to recognize the distorted and unhealthy patterns of their behavior their relationship
goes through three predictable patterns idealizing phase this is the initial phase of the relationship
with the person with npd comes off charming and cute they overwhelm their partner with
grand romantic gestures that's because they have a romanticized idea of the perfect relationship
it feels like the typical honeymoon phase waning phase over time the honeymoon phase
comes to an end the lovely gestures stop and the other partner is often left craving attention
instead of getting closer it seems like both partners are drifting apart this is the point
where the narcissist's vulnerability starts showing itself during this phase the narcissistic
partner starts noticing even the tiniest imperfections of their partner they make frequent comments
over the smallest things thinking it will help their partner improve this can hurt their
partner's confidence if they don't reject their partner's insults they will fall prey
to them this leaves their life in chaos discarding phase a narcissist will end up disregarding
their partner completely they have zero consideration for how they feel about anything a narcissist
may look back at the relationship fondly but will refuse to take any responsibility in
how they made their partner feel this makes them almost impossible to confront they just
never admit to making a mistake number three unhappiness when things don't go your way
we all get disappointed when things don't go as we planned but if you're a narcissist
you'll feel angry and confused when things don't go your way narcissists just want control
over the situation if their plan fails they begin acting as if they've lost all control
over their life to maintain control narcissists will keep people at a distance this is so
someone they regard as more powerful can't move in and take control for themselves number
four ongoing issues with a narcissist the problems just never stop because of their
inability to keep the peace with people they eventually back themselves into a corner this
happens in almost every area of their life whether it's work romance friendship or finances
for some the pressure becomes so overwhelming they turn to drugs and alcohol this only makes
the problems worse number five inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement people
with npd have an exaggerated sense of self-worth they think they're better than all of us everyone
around them should cater to their desires this leads them to act entitled they want
more respect more credit and more money even if they've done the same amount of work as
everyone else sometimes they've put less effort and still want more recognition narcissistic
entitlement has three major components at the root they believe they're superior to
everyone else they think they're different from others and that makes them superior the
second component is where they believe they deserve special treatment because of the superiority
finally the third component has them demanding special resources they feel entitled to for
example a narcissist will consider themselves better at their job than their coworkers and
think they deserve a bigger paycheck compared to their peers if their place of work isn't
meeting their needs they will end up going to higher management or hr while their demands
may come off as subtle at first they will grow more aggressive as time goes on number
six need for constant admiration and praise this feeling of superiority makes them want
to be admired by people around them for instance if you're in a relationship with a narcissist
they want you to recognize them for all of their positive attributes it's like they want
to pat on the back for the most basic things if they took care of you while you were sick
they will never stop reminding you about the time they helped you even if you've returned
the favor ten times over number seven exaggerating narcissists exaggerate their importance this
is how they get people to admire them they don't shy away from tooting their own horn
you may also find them exaggerating their achievements and talent this exaggeration
isn't limited to this though you may also find them describing everything as either
so amazing or so awful depending on the situation the amazing behavior paints them as being
the best at everything the most hardworking most dedicated most passionate etc they go
through the awful routine to win sympathy and attention in short a person with narcissistic
personality disorder will either be the hero or the victim of their own fairy tale it's
all a false narrative they've created pathological liars are sometimes not even aware they're
lying if you live with someone who switches between being the hero and the victim pay
attention to other traits as well you could be dealing with a narcissist number eight
inability to accept criticism to be honest criticism is hard for all of us it takes some
courage to be able to accept critique and change your flaws for narcissists it's completely
different they will never think they're wrong to them they are god's special gift to this
earth when pressed a lot a narcissist will react negatively to criticism narcissists
have thin skin and can react poorly when called out for their bad behavior in these situations
a narcissist will either fight or take flight they will either throw a temper tantrum make
excuses or completely avoid you they might even bolt out the door or give you the silent
treatment number nine inability to recognize others needs narcissists lack empathy for
others they don't read other people's feelings well and fail to recognize when their friends
or loved ones are in need this often ends with people drifting away from them what causes
npd scientists haven't been able to identify the exact cause of narcissistic personality
disorder npd can be genetic there are certain environmental factors that can contribute
to it also these are neglect or abuse during childhood cultural influences excessive pampering
by parents unrealistic expectations from parents treatment for npd treatment for npd primarily
consists of psychotherapy if npd is accompanied by other symptoms such as depression anxiety
or other mental health conditions appropriate medications will be prescribed by the doctor
right now there are no medications to treat npd but psychotherapy can teach a person with
npd to maintain healthy personal relationships it helps them accept and tolerate criticism
the person will be able to understand and manage their feelings better psychotherapy
can also help them cope with their self-esteem issues there are other mental health issues
that can accompany narcissistic personality disorder anxiety is pretty common among them
you'll be surprised to know how anxiety can be affected by your diet let's keep the conversation
going with a couple more videos check out 5 foods to avoid if you have anxiety you can
also try 12 things you were doing because of high functioning anxiety go ahead click
one everybody out watch both and learn more about how your body works do you know somebody
with a narcissistic personality disorder let us know in the comments below