Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video this week
I want to get into a topic that I think
Definitely needs to be addressed because I'm sure we've all been in contact with this type of person from time to time
But it's how to deal with someone who's just always
Moody and
It doesn't matter the relationship. It could be a romantic relationship a friendship family member co-worker doesn't matter
We're gonna run into people from time to time that they have mood swings, right?
Like they are a moody person and what I mean by moody person is not someone who's hungry
And is hangry not someone who's tired? Not a woman that is maybe having some emotional
Monthly changes and herself. I'm talking about a consistent moody
Not fun to be around type of person now before we get started if you do not know who I am
My name is Stephanie. I am a life and relationship coach if you are a subscriber
Welcome back. Thanks for joining me for another video
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So right off the bat you need to determine whether or not you think this person has an underlining issue
I'm talking about a consistent behavior of the moods kind of being all over the place because that could be an underlining
sign of possibly depression anxiety
or possibly even someone who has none not necessarily a narcissistic personality disorder, but
Borderline personality disorder or even perhaps someone who's bipolar now
If you have determined that this person has none of those things. They're not depressed
They're not anxious or suffering from anxiety disorder or panic disorder and they're not someone who is borderline
Personality then you're dealing with someone who quite frankly doesn't know how to deal with their emotions
so if I'm a person and
Like most of us we go through things in life we go through pain we go through suffering we go through uncomfortable feelings we go
through insecurities we go through fear we go through worry we go through all of these different types of
Emotions and feelings and when you're a person that doesn't know how to handle your emotions
you don't how to deal with life in a healthy way you're going to
be cranky you're going to take things out on people you're going to project on people you're going to
Make someone responsible for your happiness because you don't know how to deal with your emotions as well
so moodiness where someone's mood is just kind of all over the place or that it's just always cranky or there's always
Irritable that is a person who hasn't learned how to take responsibility for how they're feeling and what they're thinking
So they're they don't take responsibility for that
They're just one of those victim people negative people that everything bad is happening to them
They haven't understood
That they create their own life that life is happening
for them not to them like that kind of mentality and really what it comes down to is someone who is
Unwilling to confront the uncomfortable things that are going on inside of them. And so they're moody. They're cranky
They're irritable and it's consistent. That's the most important thing to understand
I don't want you to watch this video and think like oh my god, this person's moody. And this person's moody and god
She's moody today or he's moody all you know, every time he gets out of work, but the rest of the time he's fine
I'm talking about a consistent behavior of
Cranky, you know not fun to be around
irritable
Upset all the time, very very victim mentality
So a lot of the times when we're dealing with someone who's moody and we ourselves are possibly codependent are possibly a people pleaser
We are always going to internalize their moody behavior
They're cranky behavior as a reflection of ourselves and you are always going to have an inner dialogue of what did I do?
That caused this person to be moody. What did I say? Did I do something wrong? Like what was the beat?
What did I must have caused this person to be upset or some way or cranky?
and so you're gonna internalize that children especially are going to do this because again,
They don't have logic right? Like we always say time and time again, like a little child has not a lot of logic
That's why they believe in Santa that's why they believe in the Easter Bunny
They believe everything the mom and dad say to them as the truth, right?
So and even as adults though, if we are always around someone who is always upset always cranky
And we're coming from that lack
we're making other people's moods our problem and we're taking on other we're taking on the
Responsibility to make everyone else happy around us. Then we're going to internalize. What did I do? What did I say?
Why is this person moody or cranky with me rather than knowing that their behavior is on them?
Then unless I literally did something wrong to cause them to be upset and even if I did do something wrong it is still their
Responsibility as the healthy adult as well to be able to communicate that with me and not be passive-aggressive
Not be Moody not be cranky about it not give the silent treatment any of those things that they themselves have to also
Communicate with me even if I did something that hurt their feelings
So right off the bat we are understanding that someone who is a moody person
Always cranky is not someone who is dealing with their own demons
So to speak they're not dealing with their own thoughts and feelings and they're not willing to take
Responsibility for how they feel in every single moment. They're just
Vomiting all of that stuff out of other people
The other aspect of someone who suffers from perhaps being moody and cranky
majority of the time aside from just them living in that negative state is
This is a form of control
This is a form of manipulation now because this could be a form of manipulation
and the reason why I say that is because if I'm moody if I'm cranky and I'm around someone who is
Codependent is a little bit of a people, please
there's someone that kind of smothers me and
Fixes all my problems and like I always say tap dances in front of me to try to make me feel better
Than by me being Moody. I know on an unconscious level that hey when I when I behave in this way
Here she comes or here he comes and he starts dancing in front of me
And he does all the things that maybe I want him to do to make me feel better, right?
So that's a form of control. That's a form of manipulation right there
So I think the key is is to recognize when someone is doing this and be able to communicate
This stuff not in a way where you're calling someone out, but basically like hey, I see that you're being moody and cranky
I totally understand if you know why they're being moody and cranky right have to communicate this with you
Hey, I'm Moony and I'm cranky because blah blah blah no matter what the reason is
We validate like okay
I understand why you're moody and cranky even if you don't really get it that you wouldn't feel that way
Just validation I think is really huge. I
Completely understand why you feel that way if every right to feel that way
But what I'm going to do is I'm gonna just remove myself from the situation
because I think that that's something that you have to handle yourself and
I can't be around you while you're working through this. I think that that's in my mind
I think that that's healthy because it's validating why someone feels a certain way but it's removing yourself to say
Hey, look, I know you're feeling this way, but I'm not taking responsibility for it
I'm not going to tap dance in front of you regarding it
I'm not gonna try to make you feel better because that's not my job cuz you're a grown adult and you have to deal with
your own stuff and
really it protects yourself as well because
Who wants to be around that type of a person like that's not the person?
that we want to be around but we also want to be respectful and understand that some people are going through things and that's
Totally fine and that you don't need to be around this person
When they are going through this, so I think that that very much states a boundary that I understand you're going through this
that's fine that you're going through this, but I'm not gonna pick up your stuff your
baggage the stuff that you have to tend to and I'm not gonna hook it on my back and roll with it and try to
Make you feel better. I think this also shows your standards
and like I said the boundaries the boundaries and the standards are so so important because if you're healing from codependency
If you're healing from that people pleaser it makes you uncomfortable
that this person
Isn't in good spirits or isn't happy right rather than you being able to detach yourself from someone else
and let them do whatever it is that they need to do and that you're it's not your job to
Tap dance in front of them and to make them feel better that hey look you have to handle this by yourself
Because I'm not gonna be around you while you're going through this like this is something that you yourself have to go through I think
That that's so so healthy because it forces the person to either
Deal with their own stuff, right?
Maybe they're getting a little bit of tough love from you and they're saying she's not gonna put up with my moody mood swings
Right now and I have to face this and deal with this. Otherwise, I can't be around this person or quite frankly
they're gonna get annoyed with you for not dancing in front of them and not making them feel better and
The relationship might dissolve or maybe they don't want to be around you either and in my mind either
Is a win-win it's not that you want that situation to happen
But that is the healthiest situation for you
And so even sometimes when we don't want things to happen that we think are, you know crappy
Circumstances, there's still good circumstances for yourself because they're protecting yourself and it also shows that you are self-loathing
Enough to not take on other people's stuff, which I think is so so huge
It'll allow you to not be taken advantage of it allows you to not
sit and someone else's stop and be able to manipulate you or
Abuse you in any way it will allow that person to know that whatever games they're trying to play whether it's consciously or unconsciously
That they don't work with you and that is self loving that is self-protection. That is creating the bubble
And that's you also tending to the stuff that's going on inside of you that you're gonna have to deal with
When you kind of disengage from that person so all of the codependent thoughts of did I do something did I say something?
why is this person happy and trying to tap-dance in front of people to make them happy and
For you to be something that you're not because that's not your authentic self
For you to take on someone else's baggage and just roll with it yourself
I think that that also allows you to
Deal with the stuff that's going on inside of yourself in terms of asking yourself those important questions
Why do I feel the need to try to make this person better? Why do if I know I didn't do anything wrong
Why am I taking this on as if I did something wrong?
So you tending to those questions yourself is an opportunity for you as well to?
Keep working on yourself to keep you know
Growing and being healthy and dealing with your own emotional wounds as well
So, I hope that this video you have enjoyed it. If you did, don't forget to give it a thumbs up
I really appreciate it
Please comment down below if you yourself have someone in your life that you struggle with where they are just this move
Unhappy not the funnest to be a hound type of person and how you have dealt with it in the past
I would love to hear your feedback on that again
If you have liked the video, don't forget to hit subscribe, and I will see you next time