All right.
You look very beautiful tonight.
Thanks, it's Friday night, you know.
Yeah, let's get it on.
Come on, let's go.
Yeah, I know, I like it.
You got a summery dress.
You're all ready to go.
Yeah, thanks for being here.
Thank you.
This is big deal.
Gilmore Girls, I didn't realize, it's seven-
You didn't realize it was over.
Yeah, I know.
Realize it had been seven seasons.
Yeah.
Seven seasons, you guys have been on.
People, the show is beloved
and traumatic for a lot of people
when the show went off the air.
How about for you personally?
Was it, did you take anything from the set before you went?
Was, you know, try and retain an emotional contact.
Well, yes.
I mean, it was a huge big deal.
It was an amazing part.
It was a great experience,
and I can't remember one thing that happened.
Really?
The minute it was over.
I just can't remember things.
And people are very devoted fans,
and they come up and say stuff.
And then at the end, at the last episode,
this producer said to me, "Well, you know, it's the end,
"so you probably want the monkey lamp?"
Right.
What's the monkey lamp?
Exactly.
I have no idea.
And that's how much I can't remember what happened,
but I took the monkey lamp because, of course
I should know what the significance of the monkey lamp is.
I was like, "Thank you, really?
"The monkey lamp, thank you so much."
And I have no idea. Sure.
And so maybe someone could write into you
and tell me what the significance of the monkey lamp.
Write to me,
what is the significance in the Gilmore Girls
of the monkey lamp?
I just don't remember.
It's like when you finish college,
and I guess I read books, but I'm not sure.
Right, right.
I think we can all relate to that.
You know, I've been doing this show for a long time,
and there'll be people that come up to me in the street,
and they'll be like, "Hey man, I was there the night
"that you were in a speedo, and you were dipped
"into hot cheddar cheese."
And I don't remember that.
I have no memory of that.
I do.
Well.
Did you really do that by the way?
Uh, no.
I was completely naked.
It was Velveeta cheese.
But no, you forget over time,
and of course, and your show, it was so dense.
So much was happening.
Yeah, and little girls come up to me a lot,
and they go, "Oi with the poodles already."
I have no idea.
I just can't remember.
There were too many things,
it was too, I just memorized it and then I forgot.
But I do have a beautiful monkey lamp
with a purple velour shade,
and what room doesn't that go in, you know what I mean?
The monkey room.
Too much monkey in that room.
You are shooting right now, a movie.
And you're shooting it with Matthew Perry,
a very talented, funny guy.
Very, yes.
Are you enjoying this?
It must be a fun project.
It's really fun.
Although over the years, the rumor kind of crops up
that Matthew and I are a couple.
I read that a lot.
That's always in the tabloids.
Well, it's the only thing that anyone cares about
that I've ever done.
You know what I mean?
Not true, but.
In the tabloids, I mean. Right.
But so now, I'm playing his wife in a movie,
and it's sparked those rumors again.
And so I want to illustrate for you and for the nice people
what it's like, my relationship with Matthew.
Because it's kind of like the opposite of romance,
in fact.
And here's just one example.
Every time I eat anything, like an apple.
He goes like this, "Fatty had a party and nobody came."
(everyone laughs)
Oh my God, really?
Every time.
Well, you must be really good friends then, I hope.
Either that or he's the worst guy I've every heard of.
No, he's a delight.
He's lovely, but he has a character whose name is Fatty
and then also the whole thing about Fatty
is that he had a party and nobody came,
and then, it just reminds him of that
when anybody eats anything,
and then also Fatty bought a disco ball.
What?
It doesn't make any sense, I don't know.
You'll have to have him on soon, but he goes.
Now I've got to figure out the monkey lamp
and the disco ball.
I have a lot of homework to do.
Fatty had a party, and nobody came.
I've got a disco ball.
Sounds very romantic.
You just killed that tabloid story forever.
I know.
No one's ever gonna believe it again.
But we're in this cool movie
that he's great in, and Hilary Swank is producing,
and we're really having a good time, in Connecticut.
Where in Connecticut are you shooting this?
We're in Norwalk, Connecticut.
Do you know what the best thing about Connecticut is?
Tell me, the best thing about Connecticut.
We'll get the word out.
I mean it's a beautiful state,
and I'm sure there's lots of things to do.
You know, there's apparently water somewhere, but-
Clearly you love Connecticut.
No, I love it, but I'm just working,
so the thing that I've really connected to
is the Dunkin Donuts drive-through.
You know what I mean?
Thank you.
Because you drive-through, and you get your coffee,
and you don't get out of the car.
You know what I mean?
You've never used a drive-through before?
No I have.
This was your introduction to drive-through.
You like it, I mean obviously you like Dunkin Donuts.
But you go through the drive-through, and-
If I like their coffee, except when you go through
the drive-through, you know there's a little bit of-
I know this is, but these are the simple pleasures
when you're working. Sure, sure.
But the only thing is, it has that picture of Rachel Ray.
'Cause she has some endorsement.
She's like their spokesperson or something.
But Rachel Ray has such a distinct voice,
and you know it say "Quick and Delish" underneath it,
so my only beef is that for an hour after that,
it's like a song I heard on the radio,
I'm like "Quick and delish."
You know, like Rachel.
It's not the best, it's not my best impression,
but like "Quick and delish."
I just have that in my head.
So every time you see her face,
and "Quick and Delish."
You go, "Quick and delish."
Quick and delish.
For several hours afterwards.
Yeah.
That's a horrible horrible part of your life.
That's a window into your life
that's just chilling to me.
You can't shake it, try.
I dare you, I mean dare you to, you know.
I know that now I'm gonna wake up at four in the morning
in a cold sweat, like a Vietnam vet,
going "Quick and delish!"
That's gonna be, my brain will be burned now forever.
I know.
Do you think it has anything to do
with the giant cup of coffee that you drank?
But I know that other establishments have drive-throughs,
but I just don't think of them in the morning time.
And we don't have Dunkin Donuts on the west coast.
And you can get doughnuts, but I mean, don't.
'Cause they're fattening, but, and then-
Wait so you're telling people to go to Dunkin-
Fatty had a party, and nobody came.
Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Perry has clearly had an effect on you.
No, you should get doughnuts,
especially at Dunkin Donuts,
they're the best doughnuts in town.
I agree.
Dunkin Donuts, there's nothing better.
Mmm, quick and delish.
We're gonna get free doughnuts.
It is the best coffee in the whole world though.
It's the best.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Free stuff for everybody.
All right.
We'll cut you in too, yeah.
Let's talk about Evan Almighty.
This movie, you're playing the wife of Steve Carell.
Mhmm.
And you guys, well he,
gets this command from God to build an ark,
and you're at first dubious, but eventually-
I think he's gone crazy.
And so it's different from the first movie.
It's more of a family story,
and also it's not that he has God's powers,
it's that he's asked to do something,
and everyone thinks he's gone nuts.
And then he grows the beard,
and birds start pooping on him and stuff, so you know.
The animals start following him,
and yeah, so that's the movie.
(everyone laughs)
I love that.
That's pretty much, you don't have to see it now.
A bird poops, and that's the movie.
Well, I forgot, I didn't know what your question was,
so yeah, I'm in it. I'm not sure there was one.
I didn't get to that yet. All right.
I take 40 minutes to get to the question.
That's great on a talk show.
Yeah.
What's our history? Oldest job in the world.
Sure.
No, but one of the parts of the movie, of course,
there's a big chunk where you're building the ark,
and you're helping him.
It does feel like, you probably,
when you're shooting a movie like that,
you're probably out there really building that ark
for hours and hours and hours and hours.
Yes, Conan.
It is really hard being an actor
because when you have to build an ark,
you actually have to get out there with a hammer,
and pretend like you're building an ark.
And it is really hard.
It's hard to build an ark.
I was like nn,nn,nn.
Like a fake nail,
and I was like ow.
And then also, also it was really awkward.
That's what I do whenever I have to build anything, too.
(Conan knocks on desk)
Ow, it hurts.
I'm tired, mm, boo hoo.
It's hot out here.
And then, because you know,
'cause you're a fair Irish person.
I'm a fair Irish person,
and you can't stop the sun.
And I got-
You can't stop the sun.
I like the way you say that.
If only the Irish could stop the sun.
(everyone laughs)
You can't stop the sun.
And so, not only was it very difficult,
but I got color.
I got a tan and freckles.
You got a tan?
I can't get a tan.
Yes you can.
If you're out in the sun, see these.
You have freckles and then you just are in the sun
for a long enough time, and they all join.
They slowly merge.
Yeah, they become like a blanket.
(everyone laughs)
And then I'm Ricky Ricardo.
Exactly.
Keep trying, you can do it.
That doesn't happen to me.
I just get sort of pink-faced,
and people think I've been drinking.
Which you have.
Well, and I have, yes.
'Cause when I'm in the sun for awhile, I drink rum.
Why rum?
'Cause you're in the sun?
Let's not talk about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
Like on the islands?
Not even on the islands.
When there's a light on nearby, I drink rum.
Oh.
At night in my room, alone.
But that's enough about me and my alcoholism.
The movie, you're working with a lot of animals in this.
Yes.
In this film, did you enjoy that?
I was so excited because, as a person who comes on-
That's what an evil person does when they're excited.
A nice person's like, "Yay, I get to work with animals,"
and evil Mr. Burns is like, "Yes, animals."
But it was sort of evil because I love coming on programs
such as these, and I think about stories,
and I was like I'm working with children and animals.
This is gonna be a hilarious summer of hilarity, you know?
Right, right.
'Cause animals sounds like it'll be funny, yeah.
Somebody's gonna do, even if they just poop,
like ha ha, you know, that's hilarious.
Yeah.
Anyway, okay so, these animals did not do anything funny.
Really?
Yeah.
They're so well trained, they were so well handled,
they did such a good job at their jobs,
which by the way, what other time is a giraffe getting asked
to bring a bucket across.
What is he doing in the off season?
Like a touring company of Cats, you know what I mean?
What are they doing?
But I feel like we had animals who were like drama school.
We needed comic, like stand-up comedy.
You needed funny animals.
Yeah, yeah.
Instead you got professional, "Very nice to meet you."
Yeah, yeah.
"So let's begin, and scene" "I'll be the giraffe."
"Hi, I'm the elephant, anyway."
It just felt like they were snobby, frankly.
That's no fun.
I don't know.
I felt like they were kind of stuck up,
and working on Shakespeare, and you know.
Into their whole animal thing.
All right, well we have a clip here from Evan Almighty.
What do we need to know for this clip?
Well, Steve is building an ark,
and I think he's gone crazy
until enough happens that maybe I begin to believe him.
You're starting to believe him.
Let's take a look at this clip from Evan Almighty.
You have until September 22nd to take it down
or they'll take it down and arrest you.
September 22nd, that's the day of the flood.
Mom, Dad, come here!
(animals make noise)
Don't you dare take that ark down.
(audience cheers)
That's a lot of animals.
And, I was looking, and they were all serious.
Did you see what I mean?
None of them's doing anything funny.
No one's like, "Hey, over here.
"I'm the baboon."
No, they're just standing like they're supposed to.
So stuck up.
I know.
Method animals.
Evan Almighty is in theaters now.
Lauren Graham, I love it when you come on this program.
I love to see you too.
Please come back soon.
Steve Zahn coming up.
We'll take a break.
Be right back.