Hi Bill. My name is Diamond Jackson. I attend Texas A&M Corpus Christi and you’ll be coming
to visit us in October here. I’m so excited for that. My question for you is what is the
evolutionary benefit of infatuation and is it more physical or is it more emotional?
So if you can give me that information I would be so excited.
Diamond, yes. Diamond, that’s a fabulous question. What’s the value of infatuation?
Well what’s the difference between infatuation and love at first sight? And there’s just
fabulous studies have been done. We humans agonize over the small decisions. What pencil
sharpener should I get? Should I buy this pair of shoes at this price or that pair of
shoes at that price? Well when it comes to selecting a mate these big decisions – apparently
you make them like that. These big decisions you make very quickly. You pick up so much
information very fast that you can use that to direct the rest of your life. So the thing
about infatuation as I understand it is it can be replaced by another one. Like you’re
infatuated with this guy or gal and then somebody else comes along and you get infatuated with
her or him. But you probably would have had genetic success with the first one. There
was something about him or her that was really appealing.
By genetic success Diamond talking about having kids and raising a family. Now you will meet
a lot of people who are a result of infatuational if I can coin that adjective relationships
– people that have love at first sight and you got married. You meet that all the time.
Las Vegas has a whole industry based on people that meet each other and get married. And
get divorced. But whatever happens it’s also reasonable that infatuation is an artifact
that’s left over. There’s no evolutionary reason to get rid of it so it’s still there.
But if you see somebody – you were in desperate times. On the savannah we have lions and tigers
and bears coming to kill us. There’s a drought. In order to pass your genes on you’ve got
to get it done right now. And so you’re infatuated, you have love at first sight,
you have kids right away. Then the lions and tigers and bears take you and your spouse
out. You disappear but the kid lives on because you got busy right away. This is very reasonable
to me. And then as society became successful, developed ways to farm, agriculture, have
successful cities, the infatuation thing wasn’t as useful. But there’s no reason to get
rid of it. Enjoy the infatuation. Best wishes to you and congratulations to the guy or the
gal.