- Let's do it.
- [Interviewer] Great, alright.
(all laugh)
- Okay, okay.
- [Medical Professional] It's the moment of truth,
my friend.
- Yeah.
- [Medical Professional] You'll be all right.
(group laughing)
- Okay.
(logo beeping)
(jazz music)
- [Presenter] So is everyone clear
on what we're doing today?
- Uh, ranking (beep) sizes.
- [Presenter] Perfect. (group laughs)
- I think we all agreed.
- Alright. - Yeah.
(group laughs)
- You have that look.
- Your eyes, your eyes, man.
- There's something about him.
- You look like a porn star, bro.
So I'm gonna say that you the biggest.
All right, now.
Who we think is the smallest?
- I don't know.
You have a lot of confidence.
Oh wait, no, no, no.
The smallest?
I was gonna say the biggest.
- So even though I'm black, don't think
that that's the...
(group laughs)
- Nothing to do with it!
- Can I put myself in the middle somewhere?
You know? It's like there's-
- And you guys are taller.
For some reason I think that tall dudes
might be a little more packing.
- [Participant 1] What's the shoe size?
- [Participant 2] I'm small.
(participants cross talking)
- I feel like you should slide down a little bit.
- It's not the shoes.
- I will say I have seen some little,
like, smaller folks who are really packing.
So I don't really don't know what to expect though, man.
But I think because y'all are a bit more bulkier
I think y'all might be a little bit more packing.
- Gimme a try.
Give me a try.
- [Participant 3] What do you-
- Okay, number one.
Sorry, don't get offended.
(group laughs)
You come here, you go for number three.
You go for number two. - So I think he knows
what he is doing.
- You go for number four.
- Where do you want it?
- You go there. (Presenter laughs)
- How do you know?
Wait, what makes you think, like...
What makes you think like, the bottom.
- Yes, what's your reason?
- Where do you think you stand amongst the group?
- Me?
- Yeah, where do you think you stand?
- I can't put myself there.
- Where do you think you stand?
- Pardon me.
It's not up to me.
It's up to you to decide.
- I think you should just stay there.
- I'm fine with him staying there.
- Go further down.
(group laughs)
- I think the two of you should switch
at the very least, though.
(group cross talk)
- Hey, take it.
Take it.
Take the win.
- So I have a question for you.
Who do you think would be packed?
Cuz this we gotta rank.
- The two that we have is the smallest.
I would say probably they're low key.
They're not talking a whole lot.
- I'll say y'all too at least in the middle.
Cuz y'all been more half-
- I don't think I belong at the other end, though.
- Well, that's a point.
- Here.
I'll take one for the team
and go to this side so that no one has to.
- Can I switch with you?
- I mean, whatever you think.
- (laughs) Okay, okay.
I think that's good.
- Do you have any input on this?
I think, I belong maybe in the middle, to be honest.
So I'm gonna slide between maybe y'all too.
- I dunno man.
- Maybe after you, actually.
- Oh, wow.
Alright. (group laughs)
Everybody's a little self-conscious.
- Okay. - All right.
- I think we're locked.
- [Interviewer] Locked in?
- Sure.
- Looks good.
- [Interviewer] Okay, perfect.
(upbeat music)
- I feel like that's a bad placement.
I don't think you should be at the very end.
- Well, I'll just say I can suck my own (beep).
So I would say I don't belong here.
- That could be a flexible thing, though.
(group cross talks)
- We'll move you on here.
(Tannor laughs)
- Yeah! - I got one.
What's the longest relationship everyone's been in?
- For me five years.
- Okay.
What about you?
- Longest was like two and a half.
- All right.
Mine is five years.
What about you guys?
- Six years.
- Five years.
- Not applicable.
(group laughs)
- All right, all right.
- It depends.
- Depends?
- Depends if you ask me or you ask my partner.
- Oh.
(group laughs)
- Well that solidifies our kind of, like,
bachelors over here on this end.
As you know, somebody's gonna lock it down
with somebody who's got that consistent
boyfriend (beep) you know what I mean?
- Define boyfriend (beep).
- It's honestly gonna be on the smaller end
in my opinion.
- Average.
- Oh!
- So because I've been in relationship for five years.
I got a small (beep).
Okay.
(group laughs)
so I'm gonna slide you
in front of me cuz I got that SBC.
- All right.
But I'm not gonna lie, though.
Now that we've had him there for a minute,
that's a little sus.
Like... - That's a good point.
- So let's be real here.
He's in first place cuz we think he (beep).
You know what I mean?
- Ask him, then. - What?
- Are you (beep)?
- What do you mean?
- Do you get a lot of sex?
Do you have sex a lot?
- I had the sex before I came to set.
- Oh, there. You see what I mean?
- I'm good with him there, yeah.
- What is a five to six inches?
It's a big or small one?
- Well, five and a half is average for Americans.
- I wanna move you up.
- No, you wanna switch, right?
You wanna switch?
- Yeah, I think him and I might be able to-
- And I still gonna change between you and him.
- Me and him?
- Yeah. - Cool.
- Wait, but you're, dude, you're definitely-
- Hold on, I disagree. (laughs)
- I will say, just to add this little tidbit,
I remember some years ago there was a girl
that I was really attracted to
and we ended up messing around, right?
(beep)
And I was thinking, "Damn, if only I was bigger."
- Go for second.
Go for second.
(group laughs)
- I felt defeated.
But that's the only time in my life I felt defeated.
I just realized I can't handle everything.
And I admit that. - That's fair.
- [Asher] There's no wrong to this.
- Happens to us all. - I mean, because of that
honesty, though, I might just push you
a little bit, like, towards three.
- I mean, has anybody else here failed to beat it before?
- Honestly, no.
I'm usually, I'm proud.
(group laughs)
- You might be proud, but were they proud?
- Ooh.
- I know both parties, nine times outta 10,
both parties left happy.
- So then to the question of does, like, does size matter?
Well, as a gay man, I always say
that I'm not a size queen, I'm a penile proportion queen.
You can have a small but really pretty (beep), right?
And a big (beep) can just be, like,
a massive gargantuan honking thing, right?
There's beauty in all penises is what I like to say.
- Wow. That was deep.
(group laughs)
- Very poetic.
- Well actually that makes me think
of something interesting.
We have, like, the three shortest guys
as the... - I noticed.
- Three biggest (beep). - Yeah.
- Yeah, there's like a stereotype
in the gay community that, like,
small skinny guys always have like a honk entire thing
because, like, they don't go to the gym.
So all their energy and food goes to that instead.
- Okay, I have the same size penis since I'm fourth grade.
- What? Whoa, what?
- Where are you gonna put me now?
- What if he has a micro penis?
What if we haven't?
We're ranking him as the biggest (beep).
He's got, like, a beautiful little one inch.
- Beautiful one inch!
- A beautiful! - Wow!
- There's beauty in all penises.
- Yes, you say that.
- Well, yeah.
I mean, did you hit puberty, like, fourth grade?
- No, I was a tiny little man,
- So there's no way.
- In that case-
(group cross talks)
- I would probably put you a little bit more here.
- I'd probably put you next to me.
- Next to you.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Love it. - We're switching it up.
- And I think you should slide
cuz you ain't feel defeated my friend.
(group laughs)
- I'm happy either way.
- I right here.
I'm cool, man.
I'm cool.
- [Interviewer] Can you speak
about the pressure to be bigger?
- Personally I've never faced that.
- Nah, I'm...
- I don't feel that.
- No. - I don't.
- Yeah, I don't feel that.
- I didn't feel pressure until today.
(group laughs)
- I think there's a lot of pressure to impress.
And, you know, even a personal pressure
and a confidence boost.
- True. - You know?
- Yeah, it's a societal thing.
I mean, like, growing up,
if there's not a lot of sex education in schools,
so you learn a lot of stuff either from,
like, porn or, like, other things like that.
- No. - And basically...
Yeah, you shouldn't learn it.
That's the goal of this, of this video.
But (chuckles).
- I think at least, I'm from Israel,
so it's very close minded.
We're not talking about sexuality or sex.
So porn, and this is the number one mistake.
Cause porn is
- You start comparing yourself.
- Completely fake.
It's very bad to compare yourself
or looking too prone to see what to do, how to do.
It should be around communication with your partner
and yeah, all penises are gorgeous the way they are.
- [Interviewer] Has anyone done any sex work?
(slow depleted music) (bell dings)
- I actively do porn, yeah.
(group laughs)
- Put you next to me.
(group laughs) - I was like "Why you two?"
- Put you next to me.
- He's an acrobat over here.
You know what I mean?
(group laughs)
- All right, because of that,
I'm gonna to go into third
and I feel like you should be in second.
- [Interviewer] What does everyone else do?
- I work in I.T.
- I'm an investor. (cash register rings)
- Well you gotta have, you know, big...
- You don't need a big (beep) to make money, bro.
(group laughs)
- Big risk. (Asher laughs)
- I'm a nurse, so in all honesty,
working in the hospital you have to,
like, clean 'em and everything.
I've seen a lot of penises.
Everybody's about the same, like, size.
- Because you've seen so many (beep),
where do you feel like you fall
in the spectrum of penises?
- You don't see them erect.
So technically I can still be wrong.
- Hmm.
- But I would put myself maybe
at like a little bit like bigger than.
- [Asher] Okay.
- But like-
- So exactly where you're at. - I wouldn't say a lot.
Yeah.
- So you said, what do we do?
Like, what do the rest of you guys do?
- I'm a chef.
- I own an escape room.
- I mean, someone's taking this L.
I don't mind taking it right now, bro.
(group laughs)
- I don't mind.
I mean it's, you know, I'm Asian, you know.
I'm half Asian.
So it's understandable if you guys
think something about it.
- Where y'all want me, just let me know now.
- Number three.
- I say three.
- Three, three?
- Three.
- Yeah, three, four.
- Number two.
- Does anyone feel like they don't belong where they are?
- Yeah.
- I think you're confident.
- I think this better.
- I think I'm think I'm number two.
- I like it.
- That's look good.
- Yeah, I like this.
I like this.
- [Interviewer] You're locking it in?
- Yeah
- We're locking it in.
- [Interviewer] Okay.
Any questions before we get started?
- No. - Let's do it.
- [Interviewer] All right. - I'm holding hands.
- [Interviewer] Logan. (group laughs)
- Okay.
- [Medical Professional] Is the moment of truth, my friend.
- Yeah.
- [Medical Professional] All right.
(group chattering)
(Logan sighs)
(upbeat music)
- Oh, man.
(upbeat music)
- He said "Awesome."
- Oh, wow.
(bell dings) (group laughs)
(relaxing music)
- [Giovanni] Okay, thank you.
(relaxing music)
(letters ding)
- [Interviewer] We're gonna start with the ranking
for the soft length sizes.
So
7th,
Andy.
6th,
Asher.
(playful music)
- Number two, I told you.
(Andy laughs)
- [Interviewer] 5th, Baron.
(playful music)
4th, Giovanni.
- Okay.
- Come on. - Yeah!
(group cross talks)
- [Interviewer] 3rd, Tanner.
- We knew this.
- [Interviewer] 2nd,
David.
- Yes.
- You really sheltered.
- We knew number one.
- That kinda makes sense.
- [Interviewer] Starting with Andy,
can you share your soft length size?
- 2.5.
- 3.2.
- 3.5.
- Four.
- Also four.
- 4.5.
- [Interviewer] Okay.
- My man over here.
I'm just highly impressed right now.
(group laughs)
- I'm not gonna lie.
I kind of saw that coming.
I was just like.
- Cause he tall, man.
I was thinking...
- [Interviewer] All right, we're going to move on
to what We've all been waiting for,
the hard length sizes.
In 7th,
Andy.
In 6th,
Baron.
- Oh. - All right.
- I told you. - Grower.
- In 5th,
David.
- Ooh. - I told you.
- [Interviewer] In 4th, Asher.
- NBC.
(Asher laughs)
- [Interviewer] In third, Giovanni.
In 2nd,
Tannor.
And in first, Jessy.
- But we knew this.
- We knew this from the beginning.
- Yeah, we seen this coming!
(Asher laughs)
- I was wrong just about you.
The rest was exactly.
- Mr. Big Dick energy.
- [Interviewer] Andy, can you start
with your hard length size?
- 4.8.
- [Interviewer] We are going to hand you
a cucumber that is cut to your size.
(group laughs)
Can you hold it up?
- It's a beautiful (beep).
(group laughs)
- Six.
That's for me.
- Six.
- Cheers.
(bell rings)
(group laughs)
- 6.3.
- Nice and big.
Little sword cucumber fight.
(swords swooshing) (group laughs)
On guard! (laughs)
- 6.5.
- Wow. - Damn.
. I'm thinking about it.
- Seven.
- Oh my god.
- Eight. - Damn.
- Like a baby.
(group laughs) - Like a baby!
- [Interviewer] Okay.
How does everyone feel now?
- I feel all right.
- I'm happy.
- Yeah. - Smells fresh.
(cucumber crunches) (Andy laughs)
(bells ring)
- [Interviewer] And let's do a quick
circumference size rearrangement.
(upbeat music)
- Big (beep) is a curse as well.
Don't forget it.
- He's not wrong.
- Yeah.
- When we were talking about the boyfriend (beep).
- [Interviewer] Do you guys feel
like talking about size so openly
has maybe relieved some pressure
or taboo surrounding the subject?
- Yeah, cuz it's dumb.
It's like just talking about it.
It's like clearly no one actually cares.
Like, I mean, and if there is any kind of actual care
like it's, it's like we all know it doesn't matter.
- And I will say just a stupid stigma about,
"Oh, you gotta have big dick whoopy, woop."
As long as you know what you doing
I think you're straight.
You know what I mean?
- That motion in the ocean.
- Yes!
- Good job, guys.
- Yeah. - Cheers.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- [All] Cheers!
(bell dinging)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- That thing next to me.
(group laughs)
- Hey, guys, Chase from Jubilee here.
You might be wondering why in the world
did Jubilee make this video?
We have a lot of reasons,
but we hope that you'll head over to Twobilee,
to actually listen to a break down on the thinking
and the chemistry, and the behind the scenes of all of this.
So we'll see you there soon.
- [Interviewer] Logan, as our medical professional
do you have anything you wanna add?
Any input?
- I've never seen so many penises in one day.
(group laughs)
- You're lucky. (laughs)
- Would you like this cucumber?
(group laughs)