Hi it's Selena and this is a message for parents of a 10 or 11 or 12 year old tween and they're
starting to show signs of the teenage brain you know maybe they've got a bit of attitude that's
a bit condescending or you're not the boss of men and I'll let you in on a secret it can help you
deflect that behavior in a really nice respectful way before they morph into a full-blown teenager
now you might be thinking Yeah right that's not going to work with my child because they're the
devil child and I've heard it all before and I live with teenagers and tweens and I use this
stuff daily and it works and what's best is they won't even know that you're doing it and you won't
have to think too much now for parents who are desperate to find out this secret Plus our other
great secrets on how to talk to your tween and teen you can click on the link below and get our
book and for parents who are interested to find out a little bit more of what this is about let's
get into it so when you start getting a little bit shocked or a little bit startled that the
things that are coming out of your child's mouth we can get our back up and be quite horrified
and our parental fear kicks in again think oh my god I need to nip this in the bud they're turning
into a monster and maybe you've tried to come down really hard on them and it hasn't led to
anywhere fun or hasn't worked out for very long and so then you're really lost as to what to do
because maybe what works with one child doesn't work with the other child so I want you to know
this one thing so when your child is dishing out their next snappy comment to you just try
to remember they've been triggered neuroscience tells us there are five underlying reasons why we
get triggered and once you can identify which one it is you can defuse it now I call these
five triggers the five secret keys and today I'm going to share with you the one secret key that my
teenagers love to hear the most now the other four secret keys are just as important but I
don't have time to go through all of those with you right now but you can get them in our book
with the link below in the comments now the five secret keys we call them the five phases it's an
acronym that makes it easy for us to remember and the a stands for autonomy or choice so if you're
hearing things like I'll do it later or I'll do it when I'm ready or why does so-and-so get to stop
later than men what they're really telling you is they want choice and they're starting to stretch
into their independence and often as parents we can get scared and think if I let them win
this one you know they they think that they can walk all over me and that's not necessarily the
case you see it's not so much that they're going against what we're saying they might even agree
with us but teenagers hormones are going bonkers and they don't even know what they're thinking
half the time now I'm not saying we give them free rein on everything we must set boundaries
and guidelines for them but we don't need a micromanage them and make everything just our
way if we loosen the reins on some things then we when we do need to come down on other things they
might be a little bit more cooperative there might be a little bit more give and take now try so try
this out trying to your teenager or tweenager more choice and remember there are four other
secret keys so if this one doesn't work maybe one of the other ones will because once you know
what these keys are you are learning to work with their brain rather than against it and you don't
always come out as the enemy and test this stuff out and if it works and let your partner know so
the impact of your effort can multiply and you're on the same parenting page and share this video
with your friends and if it doesn't work let us know so we can brainstorm some other ideas with
you now the other secret keys are in our book and you can grab that instantly on your device right
now it's only 80 pages long you can read it in an afternoon and you already know what one key is so
just click on the link below it will take you to a page fill in the details so we know where to send
it to and you can get it and next time your child is giving you a little bit of lip or a little bit
of attitude you can think our what secret key is going to defuse this situation right now thanks
for listening and remember to grab the book now and be better prepared for those teenagers