If you had any doubts that Will Smith was a narcissist, well, he just cleared that up
in this non-apology to Chris Rock.
But the patterns he revealed are handy so you can learn to detect these toxic personalities,
as you're about to find out.
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The fact that Smith is doing this THREE MONTHS after the incident is suspicious enough, because
he hasn't talked with Chris yet:
- I've reached out to Chris, uhm... and the message that came back is that he's not ready
to talk, and when he is, he will reach out.
This is not a video to be issued three months, or three weeks after what happened.
This should have been published AT MOST three days after.
The first impression of any video analysis is important to frame what are the intentions
of the person.
In this case, Smith is talking in a controlled ambience, with green hues that symbolize a
rebirth, a new chapter, and maybe moving on.
He's also wearing light colors that convey innocence, and has silly clues in the background
such as that poster that reads "The world is sick, love is the cure".
But at least he's clear from the get go that this message is one sided.
That Chris is not ready to talk, and there must be a reason, right?
Well, the reason is hidden in plain sight in this video.
But to unearth it, we must be aware of the patterns of speech that Smith displays.
And one of the favorite tools of narcissists is being as vague as possible with their words.
Such as when Smith answers the first question:
- Why didn't you apologize to Chris in your acceptance speech?
I was fogged out by that point.
It's all fuzzy.
Notice that he's not assuming the responsibility.
He's making excuses.
He was fogged out, it was all fuzzy... and if you think I'm being too harsh, well, the
next part might change your mind.
Narcissists not only make absurd excuses, but they also make sure to change your perception
of what happened.
The next sentence conceals patterns of speech that illustrate this:
- I spent the last three months replaying and understanding the nuances and the complexities
of what happened
Two words: nuances and complexities.
Nuances, as in, subtle differences in meaning.
And complexities, well, something that is complicated or... entangled.
But there is nothing subtle or complicated about the fact that Smith stood up in front
of millions, to sucker punch Chris Rock, and then sat down to yell a barrage of obscenities
live.
He wants you to think that there are nuances and complexities to this, when there are not.
It was a barbaric overreaction.
But narcissists always strive to reframe your perception of clear cut events.
They want you to doubt your own judgement.
Smith digs himself a deeper hole with the following words:
- There's no part of me that thinks that's the optimal way to handle a feeling of disrespect
or insults.
Yeah, you heard that.
Optimal.
That's another word he uses to reframe what happened, as if his actions can be remotely
related to the word: "optimal".
So, let me get this straight.
He wants to apologize to Chris Rock but talks like he was just slightly off the mark.
You begin to have the idea that he doesn't regret what he did.
But to be fair, we still need a few more clues to confirm that.
Maybe you also caught the word "feelings of disrespect".
So, is he saying that Chris didn't disrespect Jada, but that is what he felt?
It sounds like Amber's "I felt I was abused" or Meghan's "I felt I was an only child".
Of course, everybody wanted to know what role played Jada in this.
And when he addressed that matter, his body language, and most precisely his voice, revealed
something:
- After Jada rolled her eyes, did she tell you to do something?
no.
It's like, hum, I made a choice on my own, from my own experiences...
His voice pitch changes.
At first I thought he was trying to be playful.
To dismiss Jada's involvement as a joke.
But he was saying that he had made a choice of his own.
THAT was not the moment to be playful or, to joke.
Here's a better way to spot that voice pitch change:
- And the message that came back is that he's not ready to talk
- It's like... you know, I made a choice on my own
- he's not ready to talk - You know, I made a choice
He apologizes to his own family.
But there is one revealing slip right at the end:
- I'm sorry babe.
And I'm sorry to my kids and my family for the heat that I brought on all of us.
There are a lot of references to the concept of 'family' in this video.
Smith mentions Rock's mother, and his brother Tony Rock.
By using family references, he wants to be seen as a family man, and in turn, someone
that can be given a pass because, after all, he was defending his family, right?
But if you want to apologize to your family for something that harmed them, does it make
sense to include yourself?
Because he said, and I quote, "I'm sorry for the heat that I brought on all of us", instead
of "the heat that I brought on you".
Sounds a bit self-centered to me.
Now, to the question, "What would you say to the people who looked up to you before
the slap?"
This is the chance to talk to his fans.
To address his audience.
But what do you hear instead?
- Disappointing people is my central trauma.
I hate when I let people down.
It hurts me psychologically and emotionally to know I didn't live up to people's image
and impression of me.
I quote: "Disappointing people is MY central trauma, I hate when I let people down.
It hurts ME psychologically and emotionally to know I didn't live up to people's image
and impression of ME."
He referenced himself five times when he was supposed to talk to the people looking up
to him.
He made that first part all about himself, about how he suffers when he lets people down.
This is also a narcissistic pattern.
Making things about you, when all you should say is "I'm sorry."
I think the most telling part of this video is that Smith explicitly claims that he doesn't
want to feel ashamed:
- I am deeply remorseful, and I'm trying to be remorseful without being ashamed of myself.
Regardless if he's talking about slapping Chris Rock, or the act of being remorseful,
saying that he's trying to NOT be ashamed of himself just means that he doesn't think
he did anything wrong.
Because he should be ashamed of himself.
But you already realized this video is not about apologizing, but instead, minimizing
what happened and just moving on.
And the opposite of being ashamed is being proud.
So, if he's trying NOT to be ashamed, is because he feels PROUD of what he did.
That's why nobody believes in this apology, besides the timing.
He doesn't believe he needs to apologize for anything.
I think this non apology was forced by his manager, or some industry head honchos, in
the sense that "You need to address this publicly, or else, you're gonna become the black Dane
Cook".
As for why did he wait SO LONG to "open up" about this?
it's because he never really thought he needed to apologize.
He still doesn't believe it.
So, he ends up revealing all these narcissistic traits, such as making things sound vague,
or fuzzy, making excuses and especially trying to reframe people's perception of what happened
that night.
You know: nuances, complexities, "not the optimal way to handle things", and other nonsense.
And those are the kind of patterns that narcissists will use on you, when they have no regrets,
and won't acknowledge their responsibility.
Now you know why Chris doesn't want to talk to him.
Well, at least he didn't go with the "I'm only human, I make mistakes".
- Right?
I'm human.
And I made a mistake.
Oh.
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My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure, my body language buddies!
Much Love, and Bliss.