- [Matt] The Battle of Kolin, June 18th, 1757.
Frederick's army is running.
The year before, he'd invaded neutral Saxony.
Forcing its troops into his military
and snatching the treasury to fund his war effort.
Then he'd struck into Bohemia to besiege Prague,
but the Austrian's caught him there,
causing him to split his forces
in order to meet the oncoming army.
He had struck at them first, as was his style,
utilizing his signature oblique attack,
where he concentrated his forces
on one side of the enemy line.
But his troops had been baited into attacking too early,
before they were ideally positioned.
His frontal assault had melted under Austrian fire power,
an element not emphasized in his tight marching formations,
and now, hours later, the Prussians have lost
nearly 14,000 men, and they've had enough.
"Rascals!"
Frederick strikes out with the flat of his sword
shouting at a retreating unit,
"Do you want to live forever?"
It's a strange choice of phrase,
because while thousands of troops have died
for his ambitions, it's actually Frederick himself
that will in fact live forever.
(Baroque piano music)
Thanks so much to Ground News
for supporting today's historical tale.
The Third Silesian War would give Frederick
some of his most legendary victories
on the field of battle,
but also his most catastrophic defeats,
with Prussia nearly being wiped off the map.
But these battles were not just
important militarily mind you,
they also formed a sort of proto-nationalism,
where civilians at home were following, analyzing,
and reading commentaries of his battles,
almost as they would a sport, but more dramatic.
And that fact really got us thinking
in the old "Extra History" lab,
because unfortunately we don't have time or budget
to go through all of his 16 battles.
But, thanks to my illustrious cat's wonderful suggestion,
perhaps we would have the ability to fill you in about it
through a different performative art form,
sports entertainment.
Okay Extra historians, let's get ready to rumble!
Hey, there folks at home I'm "Extra History" Narrator Matt.
And I'm Casual Wrestling Fan Matt. 'S up.
And we'll be your commentators for tonight.
And what a night it is in the EH Arena.
You said it Cas Matt.
If you remember last week, Frederick invaded neutral Saxony,
a move so aggressive it spawned a four-on-one match,
Prussia against Russia, France, Sweden, and the Habsbergs,
leading much of the Holy Roman Empire.
Well, you know, you can only hope
that this territory grabbing and attacking neutral allies
won't serve as some sort of precedent
for future German leaders, but what...
Oh, dang, there's the bell.
(bell rings)
All right, opening moves.
The Russians have invaded East Prussia.
Sweden has entered Pomerania.
Oh, big hits.
France and Austria are dancing in
to court Russian territory too.
Huh, looks like a partition of Russia.
Oh my, Frederick has smashed into the French army
double his size!
10,000 French casualties to only a thousand Prussian.
Yikes! Yeah, they knocked them right out of the ring.
Looks like now they're hanging back outside the ropes.
But wait. Frederick's dashed over to the Austrians
in Silesia now, again a force twice his size.
Is he jabbing at their left side?
(Casual Matt chuckles) Sucker punch from the right.
Oh, that is a third of Austrian forces have gone.
Two major victories in one month that is impressive.
But Russia's entered Brandenburg.
Looks like Fritz is fighting them off, but-
Oh, we were expecting this, here come the Austrians.
Oh, surprise attack.
Frederick loses 30% of his army in a strategic blunder.
(bell rings) And there is the bell.
Time to pause for winter.
Indeed, indeed, what do you think so far, Cas Matt?
Well, I'm gonna tell ya, I think it's still
too close to call, but Frederick has one huge advantage
in my opinion, three important words, unity of command.
His enemies have to negotiate strategy
and coordinate movements between them.
Communicating with capitals as far away as Moscow,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
But if Frederick gets an idea he just gets to do it
'cause he is both king and battlefield general
and that is invaluable.
Oh, but that's a disadvantage too.
I mean, look at-
Oh, yeah.
A regular general wouldn't have made that mistake.
But since he's king,
he doesn't have to listen to his generals.
Not to mention his experience at Malvitz
means he keeps fighting
when he should really cut his losses.
Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, but you know what?
I tell you who he should listen to is his brother Henry.
That kid is a much more capable general overall
and dude's undefeated, right?
Frederick lost like what? Half his battles.
Oh, wait, hate to cut you off Cas, but it looks like
Frederick's talking to the fight doctor
about how to overdose on opium if things get worse.
Can we get a mic down there?
Okay, how you feeling, Fritz?
Fortune has it in for me.
Fate she is a woman and I am not in that way inclined.
Let's go.
Well, all right, coming out strong in round two, I guess.
(bell rings) Speak of the devil
there's that bell.
Man, they are really on him now.
Oh, Berlin is open for the taking.
Oh, but wait a minute, Russia and Austria
seem to be arguing.
They're withdrawing?
Oh, Frederick scores a major hit against Austria.
Man though, these fighters, they look exhausted.
I don't know how much longer
they're gonna be able to keep this up.
I mean, Prussia's army is down to like, 60,000 men,
and like, what, the Russians are in Berlin.
Yeah, well, this might be the end for...
Oh my God, Empress Elizabeth of Russia has just collapsed.
And who's that picking up the crown?
Wow, that is her nephew Peter III, a huge Frederick fan boy.
I even hear he dresses up as Frederick sometimes.
That's weird.
Yeah, Peter III's a weird dude, man.
Well, he's switched sides,
withdrawing Russian troops from Berlin
and giving back East Prussia.
That is a miracle.
Frederick's made peace with Sweden as well
and now can focus on Austria.
Oh, man, what a reversal.
I mean, now a Prussian-Russian alliance will do-
But wait, here comes Empress Catherine with a folding chair!
Peter III is deposed! What a slobber knocker!
And now she'd throwing up the deuces.
Russia is out of the war.
Wow, what a great move from Catherine.
Oh, wow. True that, my friend.
I think we're gonna be hearing more from her in the future.
Now, it looks like the ref
is bringing out the negotiating table.
Oh, yep, there it is, that is the end.
There is the bell
and seven years of war in Europe has ended.
Indeed, tens of thousands dead.
To affirm that, let me check here.
Oh, yeah, all the borders go back
to where they were before the war.
Well, that was pointless. Night, folks.
Man, I wish I was taught history via wrestling in school.
Ah, where were we?
Oh, yeah.
Prussia survived with its conquests intact, but barely.
Plus, Frederick was in no less danger.
He'd had six horses shot out from under him during the war
and the years of campaigning had aged him.
Shaken by how close he'd come to ruin,
Frederick would avoid war for the rest of his reign.
And you know, I kinda hate that we're saying it like that,
the rest of his reign.
Because Frederick actually did so much domestically,
but it is hard to balance that story amid his battles.
Frederick's rule was one of centralization.
As an enlightened absolutist,
he believed a strong monarch was necessary
to push forward enlightenment ideals in government policy
with a king as servant and first citizen of the country.
He reformed Prussia's legal code to mostly eliminate torture
and repealed most capital offenses,
so only a handful of executions occurred each year.
He opened government positions up
to those of lower social ranks
and started an organized grain storage program
in order to keep food prices stable
and provide bread during famines.
Also, as a patron of the arts, he funded philosophers,
artists, and musicians, personally composing 121 sonatas
and four concertos with the flute.
And when Johann Sebastian Bach visited the court,
the two actually had a jam session.
And all the while, he was still prolifically writing,
histories, poems, and books on battlefield tactics.
He also reformed Prussian agriculture
by reclaiming Prussian forests and draining swamp lands.
And while potatoes were already present in Germany
as animal feed, he actually recast them
as food fit for human consumption,
convincing Prussians that they were valuable
by sending royal guards to stand around potato fields.
Then in 1772, in one of his most notorious
and consequential actions, he managed to avoid a renewed war
with he Habsburgs by proposing that Prussia, Austria,
and Russia carve up Poland between them,
each taking a large piece.
Now, there was of course no justification for this action,
which was against the will of the vast majority
of my own ancestors, but in doing so he did gain
the Poland-held province of West Prussia,
finally making him the King of Prussia,
rather than king in Prussia,
and uniting his expanded territory.
Frederick had no children, for obvious reasons,
having spent most of his later life with his personal valet,
who had a bedroom next to his.
And when he died in 1786 at the age of 74,
his kingdom went to his nephew,
and his body went into a vault next to his abusive father,
even though he specifically requested
to be buried at Sanssouci next to his greyhounds.
In death, Frederick left an odd legacy,
since his contradictory personality
meant people could read whatever they wanted into him.
German nationalists revered him as a national hero,
ignoring that he cared nothing about a wider Germany
and despised German language and culture.
During the Weimar Republic, Berlin's rising gay culture
adopted him as a symbol.
And he was also a favorite of Hitler,
who justified his expansionism
with Frederick's historical example.
Though to be clear, Frederick had zero interest
in ethno-nationalism.
His reputation fell as a result after World War II,
though historians began reappraising him
after German reunification, which was when his grave
was finally moved to Sanssouci as he wished.
But perhaps, he received no greater compliment
than that from Napoleon himself,
who when he defeated the fourth coalition,
paid a visit to Frederick's tomb.
"Gentlemen," he said, "if this man were still alive
I would not be here."
If that's not a legacy I don't know what is.
But actually, backing up for moment,
just how interesting is it that so many disparate
groups of people found elements of Frederick to latch onto?
You know, each taking a little bit of his life
that they agreed with and just sorta running with it.
Reminds me a little of how headlines
from different news outlets today
can paint incredibly different pictures
from the same news story.
You know, if only there was a way to decipher all that.
Oh, look, how convenient.
In case you don't know,
Ground News is a really helpful website and app
that I use to help me, not only get the news I read,
but also compare exactly how news stories are being covered
across the different news outlets from both around the world
and around the political spectrum.
Which I just find super helpful
when I'm trying to figure out what's going on
with conflicting information or sensationalized coverage
or seemingly endless social media feeds
that just melt my brain at this point.
That way, you know, I'm more confident
that I can find the whole story that I'm looking for.
And actually, when you do go beyond the individual articles,
you get to use things like their bias distribution chart
to see all sorts of interesting information
about the various media outlets you get your news from.
Everything from stuff like, factual accuracy -
that's important - to political leaning. Oh, heck yeah.
And even who actually owns said media outlet.
I found that one particularly interesting.
All in one easy to read location that helps you,
not only spot media bias, but just better understand
your own personal reading habits.
And of course, because biases are kinda like ear holes,
you know, everybody's got 'em, Ground News has this other
really cool feature called a Blindspot feed,
which basically shows you all the news stories
that you probably would be interested in,
but that aren't talked about as much
at your regular news haunts.
Wait, they found a 17-pound meteor in Antarctica?
Isn't that how "The Thing" started?
Oh, boy. Okay, Zoe, you go get the flame thrower
and I'm gonna customize my news feed
so I don't miss stories like this again.
So, if you're looking for a better way to stay informed
about current events from all over the world,
you should go check out Ground News right now
by visiting Ground.News/ExtraCredits
to download their free app.
Then, not only will you have more information
about where your news is actually coming from,
but you'll also be helping out our channel in the process,
which, you know, keeps us in things like flame thrower fuel,
which in this particular case is very important.
As always, we appreciate your support so much
because as we all know the news never really stops.
Okay, ready, Zoe? (Zoe meows)
Let's go hunt a suss AF meteor.
Leeroy Jenkins!
(Zoe snarls)
What if I told you that Ahmad Ziad Turk,
Angelo Valenciana, Arkalight Games, Casey Muscha,
Dominic Valenciana, Joseph Blaim, Kuyacoy,
and Skyler Holmes were all legendary patrons.
I'm not kidding.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)