- [Voiceover] I once had a 20 year old patient
who didn't know that having sex would lead to pregnancy.
She had no idea.
("Fuzzathon")
- [Voiceover] An old man came into the office complaining
of a new spot on his chest.
I had to tell him, "Sir, that is your nipple.
"Everyone has these."
- [Voiceover] I had to explain that plasters
do not cure anything, but just covered up a wound.
The patient in question had tried to cure her recently
diagnosed type 2 diabetes by sticking
plasters all over herself.
- [Voiceover] I had a lady who measured
her baby's temperature by pre-heating the oven,
and putting one hand in front of it
while the other hand was on the baby's forehead.
She told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees.
- [Voiceover] I've had to inform a few male patients
that the condom only goes on the shaft,
and should not be pulled down to cover the testicles.
- [Voiceover] I've told more than one parent
that their infant should not be drinking
Dr Pepper out of their bottle.
- [Voiceover] I told a lady that she had to have
her foot amputated.
She wasn't concerned because she said it would grow back.
- [Voiceover] Patient comes in, she's upset,
she's pregnant and she doesn't understand why.
She's on the pill.
Upon talking to her at great length,
I find out that she only takes the pills
on the days that's she's sexually active,
and at no other time.
- [Voiceover] I once had to use the word dick
instead of penis because the patient
didn't know the proper term for genitalia.
("Fuzzathon")