Welcome to a new video my BEAUTIFUL friends!
I've been getting a lot of requests to make today's video, some asking: How can I sound
more confident? Others asking how to sound more articulate, how to sound very intelligent,
etc. In a nutshell, they all pertain to the same topic and I though it would be great
for today's Career and Money video, because sounding more confident, more intelligent,
will increase your powers of persuasion, it will help you land a job, close a sale, and
overall increase the quality of the relationships you have with other people, though you just
met them, or the other person is your boss, your friend or even your significant other.
I am an extremely shy person when it comes to speaking in front of other people. I know
- it might be surprising to hear that! But that is the truth... My heart's racing before
I have to start recording all my videos. And even crowds of more than 4 people actually
give me anxiety. Any one of my friends that was with me as I was getting ready for the
wedding will tell you how anxious I was having to walk down the isle in front of 50 some
people then say my vows. Not 100 not 1000, 50 of our closest friends and family, and
I was freaking out, barely catching my breath.
The reason that's not obvious when I get to doing what I need to do or speaking in front
of you or any crowd, is because I've practiced everything I'm about to share with you today,
and everything that I've spoken about in past videos.
So if you'd like to learn how to speak with more confidence - even if you may not feel
particularly confident, how to come off intelligent, interesting and articulate, then please keep
watching, and subscribe for more videos that will help improve the quality of our everyday
lives.
So the first step in sounding more confident is to increase our levels of self-confidence
and I will link below 2 videos I made about this topic and HOW to increase confidence.
What also helps is getting our anxiety and stress levels under control and there's a
third video below that will be very helpful with anxiety and a fourth with quick exercises
to relieve stress.
Now those things are works in progress, they take a little time, but the results will be
... forever and they'll be of a quality that no amount of cutting corners will ever achieve;
and as a result, sounding confident will be organic, coming more naturally. But in the
process of working on those things, one of the first things that you can start doing
right now to help with your verbal communication is to speak from your chest rather than your
throat or your nose.
What happens when we get nervous, is our sound tends to move up so what comes out, actually
comes from the throat or the nose, which will make us sound like a bunch of mumbling mickey
mousers. If you pay attention to this and control your voice to come from your chest,
you will not only sound better, but you will feel more confident too.
You will be more respected and taken more seriously. Open the mouth, keep your voice
here and properly enunciate the words.
Speak so you can be heard but not too loudly that you're yelling.
This takes a little practice.
And talking about practice, one of the best ways to better express yourself is to DO.
To practice. Because no amount of reading tips or watching videos, will ever be as effective
as YOU practicing.
So tip #2 is to practice as often as you can. Pick any topic of conversation - it could
be expressing your personal opinion regarding the latest news, a celebrity, or describing
your favorite gadget or beauty product...
Pick a topic and set a timer to talk for 3 minutes about what that news, or product means
to you, and why you like or don't like it. Set the timer and go. Give it a try!
For many people, myself included, it will be hard at first. But if you don't allow yourself
to get discouraged and keep trying, it could be after the second, third or 20th try, but
you WILL see a difference. Giving up only keeps us in the same place. So rather than
being sad about not getting it right away, focus on the fact that you ARE doing something
to improve on a skill, and repetition WILL work, so focus on the faith of that and keep
doing it.
After you do this with different subjects of conversation, next I recommend you video
record yourself taking a stab at another topic. You can use your phone or your laptop, just
place it a couple of feet away from you and repeat the process. Try till you're more confident.
I recommend not watching yourself after the first try. When I did that, it was so painful
to watch, I just wanted to dig a hole for myself and hide in it forever.
Record yourself trying the first time, stop the recording when you're done, then start
recording again doing the second try on the same topic. Then go for a third round with
a different topic of conversation, and then a fourth time taking another stab at that
second topic. THEN watch yourself and before making up your mind that it's not good or
not good enough, watch all 4 videos and see if you notice a difference. An improvement.
And then keep practicing. Set 10-15 minutes every week for yourself, to work on this skill,
for your betterment and well being.
Tip #3 - Speak slower than how it seems normal. Usually, that means only about 20% slower
because you don't want to sound like T H I S ...
For many people, the nervousness disguises itself by talking fast. Speaking a little
slower, not only makes you sound more educated, but it gives you that little extra time to
think about what you're going to say, so you don't come off frantic, rambling or repeating
yourself.
If you can't think of something to say or you need to find your words, don't be afraid
to pause. Contrary to what some may believe, pausing is not a sign of weakness. In fact,
if you're speaking a little more slowly, pauses here and there won't seem so dramatic, but
they'll sound more natural.
Trust me - you'd much rather want to have a short pause than saying something you'll
regret, or filling all the empty spaces with Ums and Uhs.
Now Um and uh... are NOT bad if used occasionally, because they can help fill that space. But
pay attention to yourself and make sure that they're not excessively used. If so, you'll
be better off saying UM in your head, and just leaving that second of silence out in
public.
Look out for these things in your practice. Pause, breathe and then try again.
Tip #4 is to work on eliminating verbal ticks. Meaning - things like: "well" "you know" "like"
these again are filler words but unlike taking a pause or using "um" these will make you
sound unsure of what you're talking, immature, the opposite of smart and confident.
Tip #5 - fluctuating the tone of voice. Keeping the same tone, can make us sound boring. So
you can HAVE moments when you slightly increase the tone, adding a smile in there which also
changes the sound of your voice.
And talking about smiling, tip #6 is to smile more often while you're talking. A confident
speaker isn't a person that's just projecting the sound, or speaking more slowly, that speaker
is also a person that's smiling. Not grinning, but with a slight smile on your face, as if
to show that you're enjoying the conversation you're having --- even if that might not be
case --- but that smile, will work so good in sync with the tone, and pace of how you're
speaking, and it will make you look AND SOUND more confident in what you're saying.
THAT is a HUGE tip.
Next one, is to make eye contact with the person you're speaking with.
For one thing, it's the polite thing to do.
Look people in the eyes as you talk to them - you can look away for a moment or two of
course, but in general, stay focused on the eyes of that person you're speaking with.
If your eyes are wondering around, looking at the floor, or walls, or the ceiling...
you won't come off as reliable and credible, and smart as you would if you would only make
more eye contact. Because doing that essentially, shows your value.
Now if you're a shy person and looking at somebody directly into their eyes is more
difficult for you, don't worry, you can work your way there by looking slightly above.
So instead of looking square into the eye, look at that person's lashes, the brow bone,
or the inner corner of their eye, just move YOUR eyes from that person's one side to the
other, from one brow bone to the other, so it doesn't appear that you're not looking
at them directly in the eyes.
Don't shift too often, because you don't want to be like this - but I'd say about every
4-5 works move the side, so it seems more natural. And this practice will allow you
in time to get more courage and look into people's eyes. No biggie!
On the other hand, if you're addressing a larger group where it's harder to make specific
eye contact, just focus on a few people in the audience, looking from one person to other,
and occasionally more in the distance, so you don't feel like you're leaving anybody
out.
Tip #8. Pep talk yourself every day. Take 2 minutes in the morning, to look at yourself
in the mirror as you're getting ready, and use affirmations that will promote your confidence
and ability to speak more effectively.
You can say things like: I'm doing things to build up my confidence.
To the outside world I'm like a rock. I'm solid and strong.
My verbal skills are getting better with each practice.
My communication skills are improving. I'm becoming a great communicator.
In the email that went out the morning of this video launch I included a lot of affirmations
for you to choose from. If you'd like to sign up for my email, you can do so today and I'll
email you a link to the content so you don't miss out.
Also in the email I have more tips that continue this list, because nobody likes a 30 minute
video, so the rest of the ideas and tips to dramatically improve your communication skills
are in that email, and in the description below I added the link where you can go and
sign up. In there I also talk about how you should use your posture and body language,
vocabulary tweaks and more.
So that's it for today my friends, if you like this video, please give it a thumbs up,
and if you found the content to be of value, please subscribe to my channel for more videos
like this.
Talk to me on Facebook or Instagram, I love you so much for watching, and I wish you the
best of luck in everything that you do, today and everyday, I can't wait to hear your feedback,
video suggestions or other tips to sound more confident if you have any, to help out our
community and I will see YOU in the next video!
Bye!