- Heya playa.
In the past, we've talked about how to ask a girl out,
but we've never really dived deeper into how to ask
a girl to specifically be your girlfriend.
This is the question that sagittorious
asked me on SnapChat when he said,
"I was wondering for a video suggestion if you would talk
"about what happens if you ask a girl to be your girlfriend?
"A subject different from asking a girl out."
It totally is different and it's something I wanna dive
into to give you guys a solution on how you can do it.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching The Josh Speaks ♪
For those of you that are new,
my name is Josh and I make videos
every Monday through Friday, sharing tips,
ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
And I think it's important to really know
the difference between asking a girl out
and asking her to be your girlfriend.
When you're simply asking a girl out,
what you're trying to do is set up one-on-one hangout time
for the two of you to get to know each other better.
Typically, people would say you're asking them out
on a date and the whole purpose of a date really
is to get to know that other person better,
to learn a little bit more about them to see
if the two of you really mesh.
There's a chance that you will and there's a chance
that you won't, but at the end of the date,
no one has made any real commitment to the other person.
You may go on one date, you may go on five dates.
No one has really declared anything
between the two of you.
But when you ask someone to be your girlfriend,
what you're really asking for is that level of commitment
where the two of yo are deciding that you both
are only gonna date each other.
And I think a lot of people get these two ideas confused.
They think that just by going on a date with someone,
you're automatically boyfriend and girlfriend,
which is not always the case.
But the real question here is how
do you specifically ask someone to be your girlfriend?
How do you go into the conversation
and when should you do it?
Some people want a boyfriend or girlfriend so badly
that they're willing to jump into a relationship
with someone without really taking
the time to get to know them.
And I don't mean on a very casual level
where you guys can have chit-chat and conversations.
I mean on a very deeper and personal level.
So I would say I think the right time to ask someone
to be your girlfriend is when you've really spent
enough time getting to know them on a deep
and personal level.
That may mean going on a lot of dates together.
That may mean talking on the phone
or texting each other a lot,
really getting to know each other beyond
just a very friendly, casual level.
Yeah, but how long should I actually wait?
Should it be a week, a month, a year?
Well, it all depends on how long it takes you
to get closer to them.
Some guys can know girls for years and still
never develop that close bond with them.
So in those cases,
it may take you years to really get closer.
In other instances, especially like middle school,
you may know the girl for a week before you've determine,
yes, I'm ready to be her boyfriend.
Let's do this!
How you actually say it to them can vary.
You might wanna pull them aside one day and say something
like, listen, I think you're a really cool person
and I think we really get along and I'd love
to be your boyfriend.
Or you can just say, listen, I think you're a cool person,
and I'd love for you to be my girlfriend.
You might just wanna say to them, look,
I really like you and I want us to be exclusive.
Or hey, I really like you,
and I don't think we should date other people.
The words you choose are less important than how
and when you decide to do it.
If you end up doing it too early,
you might scare that person off.
They may feel like they don't know you well enough
to make that commitment.
And if you do it too late,
they may feel like the time has gone and passed.
You waited too long, they just lost interest in you.
Doing it too soon can really put a damper on things.
It might make that girl feel like you're being too needy
or too pushy or you wanna jump into something
before she feels like she's really gotten
to know who you are and waiting too long
can just be a huge red flag for that girl.
She may feel like you're not gonna
be open with your feelings,
that you're too scared or too timid to be open
and honest with her and that you lack that confidence.
So, that can be a problem too.
Now once you ask that girl to be your girlfriend
and let's just assume she says, yes,
what do you do now?
Well, now it's time for you to devote more of your time
and energy into really getting to know her better,
into going on dates with her, into talking to her more,
into really learning more about how her lifestyle
can mesh with yours.
Sometimes people jump into relationships way too soon
when they barely know the person.
And now they're boyfriend and girlfriend
and they're left saying, well,
I'm too scared to talk to them, I don't even know them.
That's why it's super important to ask them
at the right time.
And that may mean spending time talking to them more
and dating them first before you decide
to make that ultimate commitment.
What do you think though?
Is there a girl that you feel close with and you're ready
to ask her to be your girlfriend,
but you're a little too scared to do it?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
Thank you so much for watching.
I hope this video was helpful.
If it was, hit the thumbs up button,
and if you're new to the channel, hit the subscribe button.
I also have a playlist linked over there on the side,
which is all the different steps to asking a girl out.
I think that playlist has tons of videos
that might be super helpful for you.
So if you're at that stage where you just wanna ask
a girl out on a date or you're ready
to ask her to be your girlfriend,
check out the videos I have over there and keep on learning.
As always, guys, love and peace.