Brainy Dose Presents:
8 Dating Tips for Introverts
Introverts are often thought of as shy, but in reality, they can be just as social as
extroverts.
They may just need to rest and recharge sooner.
And while dating can be brutal for introverts and extroverts alike, introverts are prone
to overthinking things and getting overwhelmed with anxiety.
If you’re a single introvert, you may wonder how you’ll ever find your soulmate when
you rarely leave the house.
Even after texting or chatting on the phone with someone for a while, it’s inevitable
that you will have to meet in person.
So, what’s an introvert to do these days?
Here are 8 dating tips to help you out.
Number 1 - Remember That Small Talk Has A Purpose
Small talk is exhausting for introverts.
They’d much rather go straight for the deep conversations.
But small talk is a necessary evil in the game of dating.
Especially on the first date, when you’re still getting to know each other, small talk
is the foundation on which those deeper conversations will occur.
So yes, you will need to show interest while your date goes on about how their co-worker
smells like potatoes.
You’ve got to crawl before you can walk.
Number 2 - Meet New People Online
There are dating apps for everyone.
For example, there’s Farmers Only, which, as you may have guessed, is for farmers only,
because farmers need love too.
Online dating puts the introvert back in their comfort zone, at least initially.
You can swipe and chat without ever leaving your house or putting pants on.
Messaging also helps reduce some of the anxiety associated with dating because it gives introverts
the opportunity to be thoughtful and edit their responses.
Number 3 - Keep Rejection In Perspective
Many people fear rejection, but it’s an unavoidable part of dating.
You’re not going to like everyone you go on a date with, and not all of your dates
will like you.
The key is to not take it personally.
Rejection is not a reflection of your inadequacy as a human.
It just means that it’s not meant to be.
Minimize the pressure of dating by reframing it as an opportunity to meet and get to know
another interesting person.
They may not be the love of your life, but they could turn out to be a really good friend.
Number 4 - Focus On A Hobby And Meeting People Organically Through Activities
Yes, it is still possible to meet people organically in our increasingly digital world.
And this can be easier to do when you have mutual interests.
For instance, if you’re obsessed with plants, join a local planty group on Facebook or Meetup.
You’ll find it easier to put your guard down when there’s a focused activity on
deck.
It can cut down on that dreaded small talk I mentioned earlier.
If you don’t have any hobbies, then recruit one of your extroverted friends to accompany
you somewhere you can meet people.
If you don’t have any friends, then you might be SOL.
Number 5 - Treat First Dates As Practice
Treat dating like job interviews, which may seem just as daunting to an introvert.
But a first date is meant to check your compatibility, not to commit to anything.
Your date is interviewing you as much as you’re interviewing them.
The immediate goal of dating is to meet new people and get to know them to see if it’s
a match.
Companies interview multiple candidates before selecting one, and so should you.
Each job you interview for and don’t get is simply more practice for your next one.
And the same is true for dating.
Number 6 - Be Authentic In Your Online Dating Profile
This includes photos and content.
Your pictures should be recent and show off different sides of you.
If you like fishing, take a pic with your biggest catch.
If you’re a dancer, show off your latest moves.
As far as your words go, don’t try to be something you’re not.
Don’t put things in your profile that you think will get you noticed because the truth
will come out eventually anyway.
If you’re an introvert, claim it and be clear about what you want and need in a mate
so no one’s wasting any time in the already brutal world of online dating.
Number 7 - Don’t Be Afraid Of Silence
We’re so overstimulated as a society that silence can be uncomfortable.
In the dating world, this can cause anxiety if you’re an introvert, and you might try
to overcompensate to rectify it.
But don’t let those awkward silences get to you.
Get used to appreciating silence instead.
One of the best things in the world is being able to sit with another person without saying
a thing.
Remember, this date is great practice for better future dates.
Number 8 - Plan Dates That Minimize ‘Unknowns’ And Anxiety
If you’re an introvert, you probably wouldn’t pick a grunge concert with a mosh pit for
your first date anyway.
Think of places where you’ll feel most comfortable.
This could be your favorite coffee shop or restaurant.
If you’re nervous about having to hold a conversation, plan a short date, or one where
you’re doing something active like bowling or mini golf.
That way, you have something else to focus on during the date and something to talk about
afterward.
Planning ahead removes some of the anxiety associated with dating.
That way, you can be anxious about everything else.
Dating doesn’t have to be dreadful.
By planning ahead and reframing your perspective, you may actually find that you enjoy it.
There’s a subtle allure to introverts.
Their generally quiet demeanor can be endearing.
So be yourself and enjoy the journey.
Remember that practice makes perfect.
Before you know it, you’ll be a dating master!
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