Woo!
How you doing? Thank you for being here.
Yeah.
What are we doing? I don't know what we're doing here,
but I'll do it too. All right.
This chair makes me feel like I want to do that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Good. All right, all right, I like it.
Hi everybody.
I like it. Nice suit by the way.
Thank you. It's made of pure,
Love.
(laughter)
I don't know.
It's cashmere and goats blood.
(laughter)
I can't wait for that to be taken out of context,
Yes, Snapchat.
On the web.
Wow.
Gyllenhaal worship Satan, the new celebrity trend.
Well, welcome to the show.
Thanks for being here, a lot to talk about.
First of all, you, of course, were nominated last year.
Did you go to the Oscars this year, did you attend?
I didn't. I was actually here.
Right, right.
Did you watch them?
I watch them on television and,
I was a little disturbed by them.
Yeah.
I was disturbed mostly with the, you know,
the dance troupe.
What's their name? Is it Pilobo, what?
I forget what their name was?
No, it wasn't.
I don't know, but, Pilobolus or something.
They dance behind a screen and
unitards and make weird shapes.
It reminded me of like, I was in a dance,
I was invited to be in a dance concert
when I was in high school,
and then it kind of reminded me of that time
I was in, it was traumatic.
Yeah.
So you were in what kind of dance?
A modern dance troupe.
You Did modern dance in high school?
Yeah, I did, I was, I was invited.
[Conan] And you're willing to talk about it now.
That's incredible.
Yeah, I'm not holding anything back anymore.
Right, okay so,
what made you join the modern dance troupe?
Well, there weren't any guys, you know, so they,
I was in performing arts in high school.
So they, the girls in the dance company
asked me if I would be in the show, you know, and like,
all the things that they did on the Oscars reminded me,
like all those weird moves, you know,
those like things that they do.
There's a lot of, yeah, There's a lot of that and this.
Like the snakes on a plane thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was, like, took me back to high school.
It freaked me out.
It freaked you out, yeah.
That's not the Oscars.
(laughter)
Yes, it is the Oscars.
Pretty much every year there's someone in a unitard.
It was, like, 1975 or something.
Yeah, well did you have a good time
doing that in high school or no?
It was amazing!
(laughter)
Hearing about it makes it makes me sad.
It makes me want to.
Yeah.
you've got to stop.
(laughter)
I can help you with this.
Okay.
Now, this must have been nice because your sister, Maggie,
your sister, Maggie, presented on the Oscars.
She just had a child, How long ago?
She had it Four months ago.
Four months ago, so you're an uncle. It must be nice.
I'm an uncle, yeah.
It's great. It's amazing.
Except for the diaper changing,
which I had experienced in once,
and I will never go back to again until.
Usually the uncle doesn't have to change a diaper,
what happened?
I wanted to try it out.
You actually wanted to try it out?
I wanted to try it, I wanted to see
what it was like, and I.
This is the same guy that said,
I want to join modern dance troupe in high school.
I went to ware a unitard, What else, change a diaper.
Maggie hand me the child.
Yeah.
I just, I wanted to try it out, So I,
my sister likes organics, you know,
she likes a lot of organic things, so,
she handed me my niece and she said, go ahead,
and I put her down on the changing table,
and I knotted her organic diaper.
What's an organic diaper?
It's made out of bananas and straw.
(laughter)
[Conan] Oh, that's terrible.
It's really unfortunate,
but not as unfortunate as what came out of my nieces behind.
Yeah.
I really never knew, and I am naive of course,
but I never knew that it was orange, and that,
I have a very short gag reflex, so, when I saw it,
it was sort of a, it was like,
should I reenact it for you?
[Conan] Yeah, sure.
It was like,
(gagging)
like that,
and then I sort of just,
(gagging)
like that, and handed her back.
Handed the baby off, and then retreated in this way.
(laughter)
And I'm retreating now, into the back.