I'm going to share, just a few of them right here in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert and author and
in this channel, and on this video,
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on how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists and
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All right, so let's talk about some narcissists’ favorite texts.
So, I'm going to go through different phases of the relationship and
go through just a few.
I almost feel like this could be part 1 of like 10 different videos,
honestly because there are so many.
So, this is where they're going to like flood you,
I have like a whole video on like the things
that they actually say in person as well such as like,
narcissists’ favorite catchphrases and
that's kind of more like things that they'll say like,
when they're kind of like devaluing you,
because they have the 3 phases like,
love bomb, devalue and discard and
you can definitely check out that video as well.
So, I'm going to kind of go through,
kind of love bomb, devalue and discard and
after the discard, they kind of come back through and
sort of hoover you a little bit as well,
it kind of starts with love-bombing and
kind of ends with discard,
but then they gonna go back and forth between love bomb,
devalue them, back to love-bombing,
devaluing, discard, kind of hoovering
is almost really of kind of like a love bombing in a way,
it's all like a toxic stew, it's not linear,
they don't go love, devalue, discard,
they kind of go back and forth between the phases,
which is part of what causes the trauma brain and destabilizes you.
It's really, really important to understand that,
because that's why it's very, very difficult to negotiate with them,
a lot of times because your brain is like so scrambled sometimes,
so in the beginning,
when they're first starting to want to gain control over you,
to want to come on super strong,
so they’re just very, very charismatic and
they just flood you all the time.
So, you're going to get these text messages to be like,
“You're beautiful”, “You're gorgeous”,
“You're amazing”, “You're so smart” and
it's not just male to female,
it's female to male as well,
“You're perfect for me”.
I mean, I’ve dealt with it in a business situation,
so, the emails that I would get too were
“This is the most incredible partnership”,
“I can bring you the best clients”,
“I know all the right people, I can make the right introductions”,
they flood you with the beginning with all the right things to say.
So, you'll see things like,
“I can't stop thinking about you”
or “I miss you already” when they just left, like two minutes ago,
flood you, flood you, flood you,
you can't believe this person even existed
right there, in your space, all the time
“I can't live without you”, “You're my prince charming”
“You're my princess charming”
“You're my soulmate”
“This is the most amazing thing”,
“I've never met anybody like you before”,
these are the kinds of text messages
that you will get during the love-bombing phase, right?
So, if any of you guys have seen this before,
I'm totally embracing this person, this is fantastic,
so now you move into devaluation.
So, the next phase is either ghosting, which means,
got no text messages whatsoever at all,
you’re texting this person, texting this person, texting this person,
you get zero, complete radio silence, nothing, NADA.
So our scope by you get nothing and
then when you finally get something back,
it might be, “You're so needy”, “Why are you stalking me?”
“How come you're texting me so much? I was working”
“Why are you questioning me?”
All of a sudden, you're the crazy one for expecting them
to be how they have been.
So, now you're like very, very confused, right?
Because they were the ones that set this up,
set up these parameters of “I can't stop thinking about you”,
“I miss you”, “You're my soul mate”,
“I miss you already” when they just left two minutes ago and
all of a sudden you’re the crazy one
because they didn't text you for hours and hours on end,
so, that's the devaluation phase,
all of a sudden, you're overly jealous
because why are they talking to this co-worker
in this crazy way, at 2 a.m in the morning, in a suggestive way,
that's the kind of thing that
you're going to be seeing in the devaluation phase,
starting to gaslight you, starting to project and deflect,
starting to think that you're crazy,
the shift is going to start to happen,
the ghosting, that's what is going to start to happen
in the devaluation phase, the passive aggression,
“Oh sure, I will definitely text you back within the next hour” and
then an hour goes by, you don't hear from them.
That's passive aggression.
“How come I didn't hear from you?”
“Oh, I was working, why do you have to be nagging me?”
that sort of thing.
So, there's your devaluation phase.
“Stop texting me” “I'm going to block you”
“Why are you still after me?” “Congratulations, you got what you want”
“Why are you talking to this person?” “I'm going to bring you down”
“I'm going to make sure that no one ever believes you”
“I'm going to make sure that everyone sees you for who you are”
“I will do everything in my power to make sure
that you don't ever get what you want”.
Now you're going to start to see like this person
that you never would have believed,
or you're going to see them just doing things that you
would never have believed that they would do,
you call them out on it and they'll say,
“Oh, I didn't do that”
or “We had an agreement that we could do that”
something like that and
you're going to be like “What? We never had an agreement to that” and
your head is going to be completely spinning during this discard phase
of who in the heck is this person?
You would never have believed that this person,
during the discard phase, is the same person that
you thought you knew during the love-bombing phase at all.
You won't have heard from this person in six months and
after all the things that happened, all the things that they've done,
all the horrible things that went down, and
you finally have moved on with your life and
don't even think about the person anymore, and
in your DMs, or in your texts, suddenly you get a little
“Hey, how's it going?” or just a “Hey”
You're like, “What is this?”
or “Hey, how are you?” something like that and
you think “What are you doing?” or it might be,
“Hey, I heard our song”, just something super random and
it's just a little like boom! Is there supply to be had?
something like that is really what is going on there,
they want to know if there's some supply,
Do I still have power over you?
Is there some way that I can still get you to come back?
Can I still reel you in in some way?
So, those are the kinds of text messages that
you will be getting from narcissists and
I really feel like it's like a very thin slice, honestly,
I honestly feel like I could do parts 2 through 10 here,
so, if you guys have,
I'm sure you guys have so many more,
I would love to see the other ones that
you guys have in the comments below and
let's have a field day with this, all right?
So, give me your comments below,
on the text messages that you guys have been seeing as well and
let's have fun with this, all right?
Because, you got to be able to laugh about it, right?
So, also if you like this video, give it a like, give it a share, and
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“Narcissists negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I'm Rebecca Zung and
I am so glad that you're here.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.