[Captions by Spencer_ Pega Cunhado] >> Parents who have no chill.
Growing up, I had really strict parents.
I was never allowed to go to my friend's house.
My friends always had to come over to my house,
and they would have to sit with me and talk to my dad,
and he would ask them a bunch of questions,
and then they would never want to come over again.
But, today's video's about parents with no chill.
Comment below and let me know what your parents are like.
Are they strict or are they savage?
Mom, I'm so depressed.
Why son?
That emoji.
I've just walked for two kilometers playing Pokemon Go,
and all I got was a rat!
Well, imagine having to wait nine months to get a son like you!
[laughs sarcastically]
No!
She did not just go there.
You brought him into this world,
you gonna take him right out.
My seven-year-old just talked back to me.
Tomorrow while she's at school,
I'm logging into Minecraft, and destroying her Village.
Don't destroy it!
Just plant a ton of TNT with pressure play around her.
So she destroys it when she logs in.
I am dead.
Gone.
Deceased.
We got grown-ass adults conspiring to destroy her Minecraft village.
Like, you gotta talk back to me?
Talk back and see what happens.
Your Minecraft village gonna go boom.
I can't imagine how much this would hurt a child.
Imagine if your parents are smart enough to go into your Epic account
and delete it.
All your Fortnight skins,
all your V bucks...
gone.
Just saying, parents who are watching this.
Nah, nah, nah,
I'm on you guys' side.
That awkward moment when you're trying to take a selfie
and a mother decides to beat her child with her sandal.
Bro, at least get out of the picture,
like she's dead ass just taking pictures while the mom gonna
take her shoe off and start beating her kid with it.
What?!
Y'all crazy.
We got Ashley over here...
who took her first picture with her kid,
And drew eyebrows on her.
Like mmm...
something look off on this baby.
Oh yeah, she don't have eyebrows.
Let me just draw some on real quick.
Oh perfect.
Now she looked just like her mama.
Is this b**** for real?
I asked my mama if me and my brother fell into a gorilla pen,
what would she do?
When I say I can't stand this woman.
Mama, say me and Avery fall into a gorilla pen,
what you gonna do?
What kinda damn question is that?
Just tell me what would you do?
First off,
y'all wouldn't have fell cause I would be holding on to y'all by your damn necks
like I used to do at church.
You wouldn't be that close to fall up in there.
Well let's just say that it did happen somehow.
Well then shit, y'all the Gorilla's kids now.
Are you serious?
Y'all acting like wild animals anyway.
Y'all should feel right at home.
[laughs]
I'm hurt.
So what you're saying is you wouldn't miss us at all?
We are your only kids mama.
My tubes are not tied and your daddy soldiers still march.
What?
We have everything we need to make two more of y'all.
[chuckles]
Oh my God!
We will visit y'all every other weekend.
Bye!
[giggles]
Oh my God, this Mom.
I feel personally attacked.
Look at this poor little girl over here,
trying to play basketball with her dad.
But, he just ended up playing her.
Just knocked her over.
Best dad award goes to...
[drum rolls] >> Do the neck.
[drum rolls]
[drum rolls] Ow!
[drum rolls]
[drum rolls] Shit!
[drum rolls] Ohhh!
[screams]
Here we got Ryan Reynolds.
Sometimes I forget he's a dad.
I'm teaching my daughter...
that the sun goes down each night because it's mad at her.
Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point.
Look what you did.
You made the sun go down,
because you wouldn't eat your broccoli.
Now the whole world has to suffer.
My daughter is only six months old and already drawing.
I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly,
it's absolute garbage.
Me as a parent.
She can't understand anything you say.
You could be as honest as you want with her now.
Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughterr.
Her favorites are "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."
It's true.
Unless you die first.
I'd walk through fire for my daughter.
Well, not fire, because it's dangerous.
But, a super humid room.
But not too humid because of my hair.
Dad.
Send me that ugly picture of me that you have on your phone.
Which?
There's so many.
Dad, what you trying to say to me?
You calling me ugly?
Well, then you calling yourself ugly.
I mean, you made this.
I'm only ugly because of you.
Ain't that the truth?
So these parents went to go eat at their kid's restaurant,
where their kid is their waiter,
and they didn't tip him.
When he gave him the bill for a tip.
It says you live rent-free.
I ain't leaving you a tip.
You thought just because I'm your mom,
and I'm-a eat at your restaurant.
I'm-a leave you a tip?
No, you live a rent-free in this house.
This is just rude.
Tough love.
I am going to be at the drugstore.
Do you need me to pickup an ornament?
Yes.
Pick me up a funny one.
I will get one with your face on it.
Ouch.
Why dads gotta be like this?
Why they got to be so mean?
It's like they leave you as soon as you're born or if they stuck with you
the rest of their life,
they're gonna be mean.
Why were you laughing at me this morning?
Because of your outfit.
What was wrong with my outfit?
You looked like a Strawberry ice cream cone dipped in chocolate.
[laughs]
Oh my God.
Oh, he looks so sad.
His momma was probably like,
let me let me take a pic.
Let me show you what I mean.
I'm-a post this on Facebook now.
How you gonna do your own kid like that?
Dad.
There is lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.
Dad, it's 1:15 a.m. WTF.
Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not?
Well, I mean yeah.
I thought so, come on downstairs.
They're still hot.
Wait.
What did you just make them?
Yes, I wasn't tired so I decided to make some lightly fried fish fillets.
Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time, dad.
So you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not?
How's it going?
There's this cute kid at the dealership.
I was showing my beautiful pic of you to him.
He's 26.
He says you are beautiful.
He plays hockey, loves to party.
Mom,
what?
So this girl is sicko.
We got her mom pimping her out.
Like going up to random boys she thinks are cute.
Like, hey I have a daughter. This is her.
She's like really cute, smart, funny, pretty, nice,
you know everything that I am.
Let me give her your number.
This is the thing,
parents actually do this.
Like how are you supposed to meet people?
Mom just making sure she getting them grandkids.
Since my son wanna act like he grown in school,
I got him a grown man haircut.
He gonna learn today.
No!
She really did him like that.
She shaved his head,
gave him the Good Ol' Mr. Burns.
And gonna make him go to school like that.
Like, boy you think you grown?
You don't even know.
I'm'a show you what is like to be grown.
I'm done being grown.
Put me back in the 2nd grade where I belong.
What would you do if your parents did this to you?
This girl is failing her classes, and her parents made her make a sign.
My grades are garbage.
And made her go in the trash.
She's literally standing in the trash.
Why's she look like a 49 year old trapped in a third graders body.
Girl, you only as good as your grades,
if your grades trash,
so are you.
Y'all my dad has no chill about graduation.
He made a cardboard cutout of his face,
put it on a popsicle stick,
and he gon' wavin' around in the audience.
Like, yeah that's my son. That's my son, he graduated.
I didn't think he had it in him, he's stupid, but it's all right,
he graduated and I'm so proud of him.
Nails done, eyebrows waxed,
makes me feel better lol,
it's the little things that make me happy.
Now to get my hair colored this week and I will be set!
Feeling loved.
And mom is like,
did you get a job?
Cause who's paying for all of this?
Nails done, forty dollars.
Eyebrows, ten dollars.
Hair color, fifty dollars.
That's a hundred dollars.
Where you getting this money from?
Oh my God,
a brand new iPad.
and inside it,
get your grades up.
XOXO.
Mom.
Me as a parent.
I mean she just holding the iPad hostage...
until you get your grades up and then you get it, so...
I don't think I've ever known that kind of disappointment...
except when shotguns were nerfed.
These parents didn't want to deal with their kid.
Taped her to a wall.
What kind of tape is that?
That look like some silky, smooth black tape.
That lowkey looks fun.
I want to like be able to like...
float.
Now do this and then delete her Minecraft account.
Achievement Award.
This award is presented
for outstanding achievement in...
cleaning his [bleep] bathroom and bedroom.
Wow.
Imagine cleaning your bathroom and getting an award for it.
If only I could make such great accomplishments.
So this little girl lied to her dad.
And you know what he made her do?
He made a sign that said I lied to my dad,
and he's gonna make her stand outside,
on a street corner and hold up the sign.
No dad, I did not eat the Olive Garden leftovers.
It wasn't me.
We are all at the movies now,
and then granny is taking me to Red Lobster at three for lunch.
Oh nice.
I'm going into work now,
I get out at 3:00,
so when you're back from Red Lobster I'll come hang out.
Okay sounds good.
Knock first, your mom might be busy.
Ohhh!!
Her dad sent her this.
And with that emoji...
man, you gotta stop, you gotta chill.
It's not okay for somebody's dad to use this Emoji.
Momma.
Gonna text her daughter.
Your daddy and I don't know who that is.
I want to say, I don't know basketball people, okay?
I don't know anybody in basketball except LeBron and Curry.
Is Curry even in basketball?
I mean low-key I wish my mom would send me daddy's.
And I'm gonna be like damn, he a daddy.
For real.
Why is my daughter?
Oh no no no no.
Why is my daughter obsessed with gay stories?
My 15 year old daughter has been recently talking about various stories
about two men in love.
She explains to me that they are people who are her oteepee,
and I can hear her from her room
squeals when she reads these.
Is this a phase?
Should I be concerned?
She never acted this way before.
Oteepee.
Delete her Tumblr account.
This is a disease.
Lowkey...
nobody knows this.
But, this used to be me when I was like 13, 14.
I would ship anime guys together.
Yes, Mom.
I want you to know it is a phase that I have grown out of.
My sister tried to prank my mom.
I wasn't expecting that.
Mom,
don't call me.
Just text.
Yes, baby girl.
We just hit this man coming up 38th and he ain't breathing.
I don't know what to do.
Put his ass in the trunk.
Where are you on 38th?
We are by the pizza shop on Sherman.
Mama, hurry up. I'm freaking out.
I don't want to go to jail.
You're not. I'm on my way.
Oh my God.
Y'all this mom, has no [bleep] chill.
Like yeah, I hit somebody.
Okay, Mama got your back.
Imma be an accomplice.
I'm a risk my ass for you.
But, we're gonna get you out of this.
Get you a mom like this.
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents.
When the doctor asked if I was sexually active I said, yes.
My mom laughed and said 'good one'.
My dad for added effect said, your hand doesn't count.
Right in front of the doctor, man.
I mean I thought when you're with your parents,
you can't answer this question.
You always automatically say no.
Why would you say yes?
So this kid was bullying other kids,
and his parents decided to punish him.
Man, good on his parents.
Making him hold up a sign saying I am a bully.
Honk if you hate bullies.
Man, I would love to drive by that kid.
Honk, honk, honk, honk!
I feel like more parents should do this.
More parents should stop their damn kids from bullying.
Y'all have something mean to say?
Don't say it at all.
Or say it in your head as many times as you want.
You safe in there.
My mom is so embarrassing.
She made me take a picture with the waiter I have a crush on.
No!
Why?
I mean he into it.
This would be so embarrassing.
You guys have no idea.
Imagine your mom making your crush take a pic with you.
And not like I came to eat at this restaurant because you work here.
But, anyways, that's all for today.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Comment below the most savage thing your parents have ever done.
And make sure to hit that like button in the face.
And subscribe and join the wolf pack.
[howls]
I love you guys so much.
Thanks for watching. Bye guys. <<<
[Music]