do you know what happens when you miss the red flags or warning signs in the
beginning of your relationship? Well not only will you end up wasting your time,
you also put yourself at risk for getting hurt by a person who is not who
you thought they were don't let that happen to you stay tuned because in this
video I'm gonna tell you the five most common red flags that you should never
ignore don't go anywhere because we're starting right now hi everyone I'm dr.
Antonio Barolo and I'm a psychologist and relationship coach this channel is
all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with
the people you love so if you're interested in making your love life the
best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and hit
the bell notification so you aren't missing anything okay on to the five
most common red flags that people miss what is a red flag well it's a warning
sign a sign that there's a problem that you should notice or deal with in the
literal sense red flags are obvious signs that are meant to be seen to warn
you of danger ahead but when it comes to dating and relationships warning signs
or red flags are not always so obvious or easy to spot that's why people refer
to them in the past tenses and did you see any red flags
didn't you see the warning signs and people miss them for a lot of reasons
the first of which is because they're not so obvious I mean you're never going
to see a man waving a red flag in front of you saying don't date me I'm a weirdo
or I'm a narcissist instead signs of problems ahead are
always much more subtle and harder to recognize especially when you really
like someone but don't get me wrong they are almost always present in the
beginning of new relationships you just need to know what to look for and be
willing to pay attention and not be so willing to excuse or justify bad
behavior or incompatibility because you really like a person so without further
ado here are the top flags that you cannot ignore along with the problems
you'll face if you choose to ignore them number one they speak poorly about prior
lovers as you know people are on their best behavior in the beginning of new
relationships some call it the honeymoon period or the calm before the storm
people who will later become abusers hold themselves back
until they gain their partner's trust and love and because they are under best
behavior seeing their true colors is much more
difficult however they are often more than willing to discuss their past
relationships which can give you valuable insight and possible warning
signs so pay attention when he's talking about his history and how he describes
past lovers or partners does he call them unstable or does he come crazy or
abuse him does he talk about how the relationship ended or does he describe
how he told all of her friends and family about how she did him wrong kind
of like a smear campaign against his ex at the end of the relationship or is he
portraying the role of an innocent victim of an abuse events those are
great hints to be careful of because the way he talks about other relationships
will be the same way he talks about you one day number two he's a blame er blame
is placing the entire responsibility for one's unpleasant actions consequences
and feelings on another person or external event and insisting that others
agree a blame er refuses to admit that they've ever done anything wrong they
will always consider themselves a victim and no matter what really happened if
something goes wrong it's always someone else's fault so they will not apologize
for anything because they consider themselves blameless in every situation
so an early warning sign is when they are talking about work or career or
education and past relationships AB lamer will always take credit when
things are going good and will always blame everyone around them except
themselves when things are going bad blaming others for their failures makes
them feel better about themselves and their failures so blamers will do
everything in their power to make their failure someone else's fault and
eventually his failures will be your fault making you feel guilty for things
which you have no control over if you know AB lamer then this probably sounds
pretty familiar that reminds me are you a subscriber struggling with a dating or
relationship problem that you have a question about would you like my opinion
about your situation if so send your question to Antonio borough at
icloud.com it might take me a day or two but I respond to every email personally
and of course it's private or three they're mean or abusive towards
others as I mentioned earlier your new partner is going to be on his best
behavior in the beginning while he's trying to gain your trust and love that
means that he's going to be as nice and considerate as possible because he wants
to win you over however another important warning sign that often breaks
through is seen in how he treats everyone else is he mean or abusive to
strangers or other friends and family for example the waiter brings the wrong
wine and he gets so upset that he turns it into a scene where the manager is
called or does he have road rage and yell obscenities at drivers who make
unintentional mistakes does he make critical comments about every other
driver in the road if so pay attention abusers have short tempers and work hard
to hide it from the partner so watch the way he treats strangers and other people
he's involved with and don't believe that you will be isolated from this
behavior if he's able to be that mean to strangers friends and family one day he
may be that mean or abusive towards you number four he maintained several
friendships with women that you've never met yeah this is a huge warning sign
sharing your life with someone involves developing relationships with your
partner's friends and family in other words we want our partner to be liked
and approved up by the friends and family that we love so if you're sharing
your life with someone their friends should become your friends too
his friend should want to meet you and know you but if your man is maintaining
friendships or relationships with other women and he avoids introducing you
you must question his motives and the appropriateness of the friendship like
what or who is he hiding from you and why now the next side is extremely
important so keep watching because this is often the most difficult one to
recognize but it can also be the most dangerous number five the relationship
moves very fast this is the most difficult sign to accept because it can
often feel so good see in the beginning when he's working so hard to make you
feel so appreciated and loved you won't even notice that he's controlling you as
you relinquish your life an inch at a time
while becoming more and more entrenched in the relationship abusers hold
themselves back until they gain your trust and love and it works keep
watch it because this is super important it's the easiest side to miss let's say
you just met this guy he's handsome and successful and incredibly romantic and
seemingly perfect he goes out of his way to show you his attention and devotion
and affection he's charming and he treats you wonderfully but the
relationship moves very quickly you find yourself texting and talking constantly
he wants to spend every day with you and makes proclamations of love and wanting
to be exclusive oh and he occasionally make surprise visits to drop off a gift
or flowers when you aren't expecting him you will initially be flattered that
he's paying so much attention to you he will leave you small love notes and send
you sweet texts it's like something from a movie that's because it is like that
it's more fiction than reality you might even get the sense that something
doesn't feel right you may feel a bit pressured but you overlook this because
you feel like it's romantic and intense love but soon enough he begins to
require that you are always successful anytime he texts or calls you he expects
you to answer right away then he will begin questioning your whereabouts who
you were with and what you did and try to play it off as being very interested
in what you're doing and even worrisome and he may also be critical and
mistrusting of your friends and family members using the excuse that he's only
trying to protect your best interests of course he will rationalize his behavior
by claiming that he's worried about you and is concerned for your safety still
you feel like he's testing your limits and boundaries and you're feeling
smothered so you're noticing a red flag and you decide to have a conversation
about how you're feeling perhaps you want to tap on the brakes and slow the
relationship a bit now if this conversation goes well and you feel
understood and supported by your partner that's great you've just taken a step in
the right direction on the other hand if you bring up the conversation and it
blows up into a fight or if he objects to slowing down or if the ex like he's
the victim claiming that he was cheated out in the past or that he had been
abandoned this is a huge red flag in reality he is just attempting to hide
his jealousy and patrolling tendencies this is jealousy driven by control if
your partner is trying to make you feel guilty or shame
for wanting some a long time or time with your friends or simple innocent
interactions with others take notice because it's going to get worse
look observing any of these signs once doesn't mean that you should run for the
hills but if you've seen multiple warning
signs or a progressive pattern development you should be concerned so
be wise get informed and protect yourself if something doesn't feel or
sound right do what's best for you and keep yourself safe of course there are
other red flags and warning signs that I haven't addressed today so if you're
wondering about your situation please leave a comment and feel free to
ask questions there may be someone else who's dealing with the same situation
that you're in sadly people are often unaware of these
signs until it's too late and they have completely relinquished
their lives to an abusive and controlling partner so please share this
video with anyone who can benefit from seeing it I've also made other videos on
similar topics and you can watch them right here thanks for watching I'll see
you in the next video