hello! what's up everyone? welcome to my youtube channel and welcome to my new
series "Letters to Lucie" where I read your letters out loud and verbally respond to
them however I see fit. This is my new show! this is it! Letters to Lucie! If
you're new to my youtube channel be sure to click on the little subscribe button
in the corner and give this video a thumbs up if you're excited for the new
series! if you want to write in to me for advice with the hopes that maybe I'll
read your letter aloud in a future episode, shoot me an email to lucie@luciefink.com
and maybe you'll be featured! let me know in your email if
you want to remain anonymous. I will never read your name or location out
loud without express permission from you. I made one Instagram story where I asked
my followers to send me their questions and it seemed that all of the questions
fell into certain categories... so there was like high school, college, grades,
relationships, friends, all that good stuff! so for this specific episode I
tried to bundle together relevant topics so that you guys could click on it and
kind of know what you're gonna see. we're just going to get started all the way
across the world in India. Hey Lucie, my name is Nyanika and i am from India. i
am your huge fan and you inspire me a lot. you taught me how to be kind and
humble i am extremely grateful for you and happy for you best of luck for your
amazing future ahead with Michael. thank you! now coming to the hard part for the
last few years things have not been going well i did certain stuff in my
life that I'm not proud of and those things still give me a lot of anxiety
I'm an engineering student but I don't know whether I'm doing it because I like
it or just to make my parents feel that I'm worthy of something and no matter
how hard I try I don't get good grades and this makes me feel like I'm a
useless person I try to be positive as much as I can but sometimes it really
hurts and I lose my mind if you're reading this then thank you I have no
problem if you reveal my name I really love all of your videos especially try
living with Lucie I really adore your free spirit
and positive vibe thankfully Nyanika. This is a very tough letter and there's
a lot of stuff to unpack here. I'm gonna start with your line that you have
certain things from your past that you're not that proud of. not that this
should make you feel any better, but I want you to know that many people have
things from their past that they're not that proud of. people make mistakes
people do things that they later regret and so not everyone is living in a
perfect state of bliss where everything from their past is perfect. I once heard
from someone that if you constantly live in the past you're gonna have depression,
and if you constantly live in the future you're gonna have anxiety. and so what
it's sounding like to me is that you seem to be living in your head... maybe
living a little bit too closely in the past, and what you really need to do is
move a little bit more towards living in the present moment. there are a lot of
mindfulness practices that you can try: things like mindful eating or mindful
walking, things that really ground you in the present and force you to sort of be
where you are right now, instead of being in your head somewhere in the past being
upset about something. going on to this line about how you are an engineering
student but you don't know if you're doing it for yourself or for your
parents... a lot of people actually do things for their parents, they want to
make their parents proud. personally I don't think that it's good parenting to
put that sort of pressure on your kids such that your livelihood or happiness
as the parent is directly tied to your child's success. because that can
sometimes put a lot of unnecessary stress on the child. so if you are in
that situation and your parents are doing that to you, I'm very sorry! that's
a really really tough position to be in. what I will tell you is that you should
do some soul-searching and thinking. you know, maybe you love engineering but the
fact that your parents also want you to do it makes you think that maybe you
don't actually love it. on the flip side maybe you don't actually love it and the
fact that they want you to do it is just putting unnecessary pressure, and now
you're all confused. there are a million scenarios of what this could be. but you
should really do some thinking about what it really is you want to do, and if
you're going down a path purely because you want to make your parents proud,
that's not going to end well. I want to let you know, even if your
parents haven't told you this, that you are worth something. you're actually
worth a lot! you're a human life, so you're worth just as much as any single
human that's roaming the earth at this moment. you say "I have depression issues
and I get super nervous and scared before any exam" ... of course you get
nervous and scared before any exam because your parents are putting so much
pressure on you that you feel like you need to perform well or you're going to
disappoint them! when you're in that study state and you're getting a little
nervous, it seems that in those moments you're really living in the FUTURE, so
that's why you're feeling that anxiety before an exam. no matter how hard you
try you don't get good grades and this makes me feel like you're a useless
person... one thing I want to say, and this is for anyone out there that is not
getting good grades, getting good grades does not equal useful person. some people
are just much better in school because they're good at testing or they're
really good at reading text books and memorizing facts and other people just
can't perform that well and it really doesn't say much about them as a person.
years down the line, you'll be able to look back at individual classes you took
and you won't even REMEMBER what grades you got! and in regards to your last line
"I try to be positive as much as I can but sometimes it really hurts." I'm not
sure what the stuff in your past is that you're referring to, but I just want to
let you know that sometimes there are issues that are far too difficult for
you to deal with on your own and in those cases, I would highly recommend
seeking an outside professional's help. thank you for writing in Nayanika!
sending you all the love in the world from New York. and now onto the next
letter!
hello my name is Miriam, hope you are fine.
I'm from *BLEEP* and I'm 18 years old I would like to remain anonymous
except for my name. I'm currently going to school and will soon have a semester
and a half of a school year behind me but during that time I felt very bad I had
to deal with stress everyday because I had a lot to study I lost a lot of
weight and I'm soon underweight. every day I'm very tired and usually have no
strength or vitality anymore doctors think I should do sports and do
other important things but I do not have the motivation for that. what can I do
about stress or how could I handle it? I'm looking forward to an answer best
regards. alright Miriam, sounds like you need some help! the first thing I
would suggest is going to see a doctor because it seems like some of the things
you're experiencing (like weight loss, being really tired, having no strength
and vitality) those could all be the symptoms of some major underlying issue
that only a doctor can diagnose. it does seem like you've already been to doctors
because you say that "doctors think you should do sports and other important
things" so if you've already seen a medical doctor, maybe looking into a
holistic doctor could be helpful...to sort of look at your body on the whole scale.
the first thing that comes to mind when I read your letter are the six pillars
of health. and you didn't mention anything in here that would tell me how
well or how not well you're doing on all these pillars, but I'm gonna review each
of them and I think that you should try to focus on these six areas of your life!
number one is sleep. that is the prime thing. I'm not sure if you're sleeping
well, but our bodies can't refresh and rejuvenate and heal, or have any sort of
cell repair unless we're sleeping properly. so if you're feeling tired and
sluggish, potentially you need more sleep! next is exercise. but the way the doctors
are phrasing this to you, to "do sports and other important things" I don't know
if getting out there and being extremely active, especially when you're feeling
tired, is even going to be possible for you, so when I use the word exercise I
just mean adding some movement into your life! maybe taking a walk, maybe just
getting outside into nature and stretching. I'm sure plenty of people out
there would say that SWEAT is a very important aspect of it, but just moving...
you know, getting the blood flowing! the third pillar of health is eating whole
foods. I'm not sure what your diet is. you did mention you've lost a lot of weight.
I'm not sure if that's because you're not eating as much food, but whole foods
are incredibly important. and what I mean by whole foods are just real foods:
nothing processed, foods that come from the earth!
number four is hydration. making sure you're drinking enough clean water
throughout the day. the fifth pillar is mental health. so if you're having any
sort of mental health issues like stress or anxiety or depression, definitely
seeking out a professional that can help you with that.
and the last pillar is community and social life. so it's very important for
people to be surrounded by people they love and by people who love them. making
sure you have good friends and relationships with the people around you.
looking back at your letter though it does seem like this letter is highly
medical and I want to be VERY clear with you that I'm NOT a medical expert in any
sense of the word. I'm just trying to give you advice on the areas of my life
that I would look at if I was in this situation. but it really does sound like
speaking to a holistic wellness expert is your best bet! okay
NEXT LETTER. Hi Lucie *pizza emoji* she knows! I love you and your channel so
much. my name is *BLEEP* (please keep my name anonymous) and I'm a senior in high
school in Washington DC. I'm starting to think a lot about my future in terms of
what I want to do and where I want to live after college the problem is that I
get so hung up and nervous that I won't be successful in the fashion industry I
want to work in the business side of the fashion industry I don't really know if
I want to live in New York City for the rest of my life after college but this
is the only place for my intended career I know I'm just overthinking everything
but this is the problem I'm worrying a lot about my future and I'm scared that
I won't end up successful or happy with my life
please help as this has been a big stressor of mine I have a very worrying
nature as it is and I guess I'm just scared of change and the future thank
you so much for reading this and considering giving me advice thanks for
being awesome and being a light in my life. Well *BLEEP* I really appreciate you
writing to me. this is such a sweet letter, you sound really driven and it
seems like if you want a job in the fashion industry, you're gonna have a job
in the fashion industry! so I applaud you on that. on a similar note to what I said
to the previous letter, the people that tend to live life stuck in the past wind
up feeling a little depressed, whereas people that live life in the future
completely in their heads wind up anxious. it seems to me that you are
falling a little bit more on the anxious scale with your stress about not ending
up successful and not ending up happy. according to your letter you're a senior
in high school which means you're currently at a very very exciting time
in life! and also according to your letter, you'll be going to college, so
that means you have four years of even MORE excitement coming up right now! you
seem to me to be way ahead of the game. you already know that you want to work
in fashion which means when you go to college you can sort of tailor your
class towards the business side of the fashion
industry, and that's gonna be great for you, but I think the best advice I can
give you is just be where you are right now! you're a senior in high school, you
have so much excitement coming up. the problem is you want to work in the
fashion industry but you're not sure if you want to live in New York for the
rest of your life after college even though that's the "only place" -- even though
you might think that New York City is the absolute ONLY place in the world
that you can live if you want to work in the fashion industry, I'm just going to
be the first person to tell you (perhaps the first person, maybe the second)
that is not true! there are definitely fashion-related jobs in pretty much
every major city center across the country! even if New York City is the top
of the top of the top with the best fashion companies in the world, it's not
the only place that you can work that's fashion-related! the other thing I want
to tell you is that if you do get an awesome job at a fashion company in New
York City and you live here after college, it's not the place that you have
to stay for the REST of time! this is a great city.
I love New York. personally, I'm from the state of New York, so this is very close
to home and I love the vibe in this place...but it's not for everyone.
many people, in fact, HATE New York City! and they think it's too crazy, it's too
fast-paced, they get lost in a sea of people, it's loud, it's stressful. I feel
you! don't necessarily throw New York City away as an option for your first
job post-college, but just know that just getting one job here doesn't mean you're
stuck here for life. so it's really not a race to figure out what you want to do.
it's not a race to get that first job, it's not a race to figure out where
you're gonna settle down and live the rest of your life. just enjoy the moment
TODAY! on to the next letter! last letter of the day. Hi Lucie, my name is *BLEEP* and I'm 17
years old I'm currently in the middle of the college process and I know you went
to college so I was wondering how you got through it currently some of my best
friends are getting into really great universities and I have yet to have good
news how did you get through the process and do you have any tips I feel as
though I'm carrying so much pressure because I go to a private school so I
need to make sure that I'm doing good by my parents as well as by all
invested in me could I have my name remain anonymous please thank you.
absolutely *BLEEP* I will not say your name well actually, *BLEEP* I will say it, but I will
bleep it out! the college process!!!! I know, I know... all I've gotta say is I KNOW!
it is a really stressful time being a high school student and applying to
college and seeing all the people around you applying and getting decisions right
before your eyes! and I don't know if they still use this system, but when I was
applying we had this portal that you would log on to and you were actually
translated into a dot. and your dot would be shown on a graph surrounded by the
dots of your fellow classmates and peers. and you would actually see how likely
you were to get into a school as compared to everyone else. that was not
fun. I'm gonna say something that's maybe a little fluffy...maybe some people out
there are gonna be like "oh okay unsubscribe at this moment" MAYBE. but
just give it a shot! I personally believe that everything happens for a reason.
some might say "what are you talking about? if everything happens for a reason
then why are there hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes killing
hundreds of people?" and for that, I don't have an answer. but what I will say is
that if you apply that mentality to your actual life (not to some of the
devastating stuff that's happening around the world) it can actually help
you live a more happy, fulfilled and positive life. when I was applying to
college, I really really really wanted to go to this one school, and I actually got
accepted to the school but it was some weird situation where they accepted me
for the next year. so I would have had to take a gap year or go somewhere else in
the meantime. and I chose Johns Hopkins University as
the college that I was going to go to "in the meantime." and it was really only
after one week on campus that I realized I didn't want to go to the other school!
I wanted to stay where I was. and I loved Hopkins and had the best experience! over
the course of my time at Hopkins was when I really realized that if I
actually compared the two universities, the Hopkins experience and what it
provided me would not have been possible at this other college for a whole number
of reasons! so at the end of the day (even though in that moment I was devastated
that I didn't get accepted immediately into my dream school and I couldn't go
where I wanted... I had all these visions of going there) I realized a little while
down the road: everything happens for a reason! if you
actually look at your own life and all the things that are happening to you...
everything from an illness you're getting to an award you're winning... and
think "wow, this is happening to me for a reason" -- that can be really illuminating
and can help you get through some really tough times and also ground you in
really exciting times! how did I get through the process and do I have any
tips? personally, I didn't really ask my friends what was going on in their
college process until I felt stable in mine. try your very best to not compare
yourself to the people around you because that is not going to do you any
good. at the end of the day, you're probably not even directly competing
with these people, and even if you are, there's nothing you can do about it. the
competition that you're feeling in the application process is something that
you're probably gonna feel in the future in job interviews, when you're applying
for a new job, or even if you're going for a promotion at your current job. and
you can either establish yourself as a competitive person who's constantly
looking left and right around you trying to figure out where you are in relation
to everyone else, or you can establish yourself as a confident person who
realizes that they're not really competing with anyone because everyone's
going to go off and do their own thing and you are on your own path! this last
line about how you feel so much pressure to do good by your parents because
they've invested a lot in you... I'm just gonna tell you, your parents love you and
are so proud of you! no matter what! truthfully, most of the time parents are
putting pressure on kids, it's just because they love you SO much and they
want you to have the best life and set yourself up for success however you can!
maybe sit down and talk to them and tell them you're trying the best you can and
you love them too, but that the stress that they're giving you is not making
things any better! my biggest tips for you are don't compare yourself to others,
smile a little more, enjoy the process, and don't put so much pressure on
yourself. and that is it for the letters to Lucie
today! I really hope you guys like this new series! comment below and let me know
what you think. if you want to send me any letters that you want me to read and
give you advice on in future episodes please email lucie@luciefink.com and
i'll potentially call you out in a future episode! and that's it! thanks for
watching love you bye!
hey YouTube thanks for watching my new show click here for another video on my
channel and right here to subscribe! Bye!