Hey! My name is Audrey. And to understand my story ...first you've got to understand
my dad. When my dad was younger he was sort of famous. Not Brad Pitt level
famous, but he had parts in a couple of TV shows, and he released a few songs as
a musician that got into the top 100 chart. He never got the starring role, and
his songs never made it into the top 50, but he kept trying. That is, until he met
my mom, and they had me. I was an accident, but when Mom found out that she was
pregnant, Dad proposed... and the rest is history.
When I was born he started working for an IT company, but he never gave up his
dreams of fame and fortune. I'll be the first to admit, I was a cute baby.
I had soft ,chubby cheeks and golden curls, even when I was only a couple of
weeks old. I think that's what gave Dad the idea that I could be a star. The
first thing he auditioned before was a diaper commercial... it's such a weird
thought! A baby, in an audition. Anyway they must have thought that I was cute
too because I got the part, and my 10 seconds of fame. We still have a tape of
the commercial somewhere- all I do is giggle at the camera and crawl around
happily my diapers. I find it kind of embarrassing now, but it's a fun fact to
share during icebreakers. Anyway, Dad really got the bug after that. He was
spending his nights scrolling through castings and sending my pictures out. He
was emailing all the producers he knew and asking around whether they needed a
baby for their next project, and I was getting jobs! I got pretty used to being
in front of a camera by the time I was a toddler. It was just little commercials
and modeling jobs for a couple of years, up until I auditioned for a role on a
family sitcom. The part was for the youngest daughter of the family -a silly,
goofy, but charming little girl. I went through the whole audition process and
one night my family received a call... I got the job! Filming was crazy
intense. I was five, and should have been starting kindergarten, but because I had
to be on set for so long every day, I had a tutor homeschool me instead.
It was pretty cool, though ,because all the kids on set treated me like I was
their little sister, and the adults treated me like I was their kid. I
actually got really good at hanging out with people who were older than me- the
downside though was that I didn't really know any kids my own age. Our first
season was getting amazing reviews, so as soon as we had finished filming season 1,
we were signed on for season 2. People started to recognize me on the
street as that cute little kid on TV. Dad encouraged me to chat with them and
take selfies with them if they asked, but mom was always uncomfortable with her
little girl talking to strangers. And that's the way my life went for years. I
worked, I got tutored on set, I worked and I went home. I was always the only person
my age, so there was nobody to do little kid stuff with, or even do homework or
projects with. Thinking back I never really had a best friend my own age. And
I never really got to take it easy and be a kid. I was either on set working, or
I was studying, or I was at home, which usually meant practicing my lines, eating,
and sleeping. I think subconsciously I really started to miss growing up like a
normal kid -even though I didn't even know what that would be like. it's just
that deep inside I had this craving that I couldn't satisfy ,and I felt like
something was wrong. I don't exactly remember how it started, but my cute,
carefree personality started to change too.
I stopped being so comfortable in crowds of new people; instead, they made me feel
anxious. My heart would pound. Sometimes it was so loud I could hear it in my
ears. I started trying to avoid the meet and greets. I would lie and pretend, I had
a stomachache or a headache or a fever. Sometimes, it worked
(if Mom was there), but mostly it didn't (if Dad was there). Dad would sigh, look me up
and down, and tell me that I was just tired. "You got to get out there champ!"
he'd say, patting me on the shoulder. But then, more and more, Dad wasn't even there.
It was my manager who'd be pushing me. At first I just had anxiety when I was in
crowds of new people, but then it started to affect my performance too. It sounds
so weird to say that "my performance" I was just a little kid!
But I started stuttering and going blank when I was in front of the camera, even
though I'd practiced my line over and over. It felt like it was never going
into my brain. My manager and Dad got more and more annoyed at me. Mom was
concerned, but I insisted that, I was fine, I was just tired. My breaking point came
during a scene that wasn't even about me. All I had was one line and I just
couldn't do it. During some takes the completely wrong thing would come out of
my mouth, and during others, it would just be a string of random jumbled sounds.
Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face and I was choking on a lump
in my throat so big that I couldn't talk. I knew there were people holding my
shoulders and talking to me, but all I could hear was my heart thumping in my
ears and my breathing getting faster and faster. Dad yelled at me and I just cried
in silence. I couldn't do it anymore. I just couldn't! When Mom was called to
the set to take care of me, she was FURIOUS. Not with me- with the directors,
with my manager who had pushed me to work too many hours, and ESPECIALLY with
Dad. She picked me up like she used to when I was a little baby, and just
carried me away. She took me out for milkshakes, and she let me have two
because I couldn't choose between strawberry and caramel. I guess that's a
weird thing to remember but I really was just a kid. I told her everything. "Do you
even like acting?" she asked. I didn't know. I didn't know what it was like to not be
an actor. I just sobbed into my milkshake. Mom reached across the table, held my
hand in hers, and promised that I would be just a normal kid from now on. I
wasn't there for the conversation between Mom and Dad that night, but I
know it didn't go well. Mom was angry at Dad for not being honest about how hard
I was working, and how much I had been struggling, and Dad was angry at Mom for
"not letting me reach my full potential" and told her "somebody like you, who never
made it, will never understand show business!" Mom stormed out of there and
served him with divorce papers the very next day. It sounds harsh but she had to
make a choice- and she chose me. They'd already had some other issues and
this was the last straw. Adjusting to life from acting was hard. I wasn't used
to spending so much time with kids my own age, and at first, I struggled to make
friends. But over time, I got less anxious and learned what it was like to go out
and have fun. And all of a sudden, I had time for hobbies and to play sports-
Photography! Swimming! Chess! I tried out all the clubs at school except for
one- there was no way you'd catch me in drama club! My relationship with my dad
is still pretty strained, but we're working on it.
I know that deep inside he feels that I've "wasted my talent" but I hope that he
can learn that it's better for him to pursue his own dreams than to try and
make me do it for him. My anxieties gotten a lot better now, and I think he's
starting to see that fame just wasn't good for me. My mom and I are closer than
ever. She's awesome, and I will always be
grateful for her for doing what was best for me, no matter the cost! Now it seems
like my time as a child celebrity was in a different lifetime. I don't even get
recognized anymore. My blonde baby hair grew out to dark brown, and I'm much
taller than I was then. But when someone does ask, if I was on
that show, I just laugh and I say "yeah I was but acting wasn't for me". How about
you? Did you ever have to do something you didn't want to do just so someone
could live their dreams through you? Leave your comment in the section below,
and don't forget to Like and subscribe for more episodes! Thanks for watching!