Hey. Hey. Hey there! I’m Jake.
And unfortunately I have to go because
It’s jellotime.com. uhh that's a DONG something you can do online now guys. Alright I'm gonna go.
Well there's a table here. I'm gonna go this way.
Alright. Dongs. okay.
Hey it's me Jake! JK it’s really Chris Hemsworth as Thor.
Bet you thought it was me since we look 21% alike. Oh yeah I'm so muscular and strong.
On twinsornot.net you can upload a photo of someone from the internet.
Then do the same for yourself and it will calculate the similarity.
For example, Albert Einstein and I are 33% similar.
Which is not a lot but to be even 1% of a man so handsome, so debonair, is an honor.
Hey I look 52% like Skylar Astin from the movie Pitch Perfect which I have never seen but obviously Hannah who wrote the script really likes.
This reminds me that I have to come up with the PERFECT transition but I have
NoTime.zone.
Which allows you to create an event and send it anywhere in the world without having to
figure out the time difference yourself.
I just decided right now that I’m having a party tonight in New York and everyone is
invited.
You you you!
I’ll go ahead and give it a title “Impromptu Party That Everyone Is Invited To What Could
Possibly Go Wrong?” and then you can make some sub-events.
At 6:30 everyone picks up name tags, at 7:00 everyone laughs at my jokes, at 7:30 we play
boggle.
But I’ll let loose and set Jake RoPARRTTAYY to 6:00pm, send it to someone over in LA where
now it says 3:00 PM.
WHOA!
Someone’s excited for my party.
Oh wait no that’s just
Drum Kit on ronturner.tv.
Which isn’t like any instrument I’ve personally come across because each key creates a totally
different sound and a lot of them are...well just listen.
But once you’ve played around with them enough and figured out what key corresponds
to what sound then maybe you can create a beautiful symphony...or at least this.
That sounds as cohesive as the movement of these oddly shaped dudes on
The Economists.
This site features a group of cute little people, or one cute little person duplicated
several times, closely following financial trends.
It goes up and down and up and down and up and OH NO!
It’s over here now!
That’s because you’re in control.
This DONG is perfect for fulfilling your desire to confuse financial analysts. Whatever that means.
Check this out.
They’re just watching it not suspecting a thing when BAM it’s over here.
Now it’s here.
Now it’s here. *sounds. ECONOMY. *cough*
Alright they worked hard so let’s give them a break with
This relaxing DONG.
Put it on full screen and just lose yourself in the DONG journey to self realization as you
steer through a peaceful tunnel of shapes and colors.
Wait it’s going a little fast.
Slow down!
SLOW DOWN!
Excuse me I have to go throw up. When ya get a little nauseous it's nice to chew some gum.
Here take a piece.
LAWL TRICKED YA! As the kids say. Dab Dab.
Now you’re in searing pain, so sear bread with
Toaster Swipe a game that gives you empathy towards kitchen appliances.
Click and swipe up to pick up pieces of toast but make sure you watch out for these evil
spinning bagels of doom and these spiky pink donuts of death.
To proceed to the next level you have to get to this cute little smiling slice here who
is patiently waiting for you.
But if you feel like you could be better at playing DONGs train yourself on
Aim Booster, recommended on the DONG twitter which by the way please feel free to follow and subscribe and smash that like button.
This is a fun and stressful site because it really puts yours skills to the test.
There are categories like precision, reaction time, and speed.
I’ll practice speed.
You have the option to disable “Misclick=lose life” but keeping it will force you to focus
on precision as well.
It’s pretty tough to last a long time but prove me wrong and make me proud because EYE
believe in you
And speaking of eyes this little eyeball lost his beautiful lover eyeball. When? Well when she was kidnapped
by a green robotic arm of course.
Now that you’ve found some common ground help him find her by navigating through these
levels.
When you’ve collected a lense, use “A” to activate and deactivate it.
By doing so you will be able to pass through certain barriers.
In later levels it becomes more complicated.
Like to get closer to the key you need to pass a barrier but have to quickly change
the lense again so that the key doesn’t fall to the spikes.
But for mindless fun
T-rex game has you covered.
Just jump to get started and jump the whole way through the game to avoid these cacti
that are apparently dangerous enough to kill a massive dinosaur. Nature!
Also beware of low-flying pterodactyls.
Links to all the DONGs can be found in the descrip...oh koozies.
Hello. My name is what? My name is
My name is who? My name is wikiwiki links down in the description.
There's also a playlist right here full of DONGs to fill your eyes.
Haha. That kind of sounded a little bit like Jeff Goldblum for a second in Jurassic Park. Anyway
I'm gonna go again. Even though I left in the beginning.
But I'm back. Indecisive. And as always, thanks for watching.