If somebody tried to get in a fight in my house
and started breaking stuff,
I would, "Ladies, let's get in formation,
and kill some people."
And they would run into that shelf,
and one of the Barbies would fall,
And I would like...
And just like cartwheel across the room
and (beep)ing, snap necks.
Hi, it's Trixie Mattel.
And I'm Katya.
And we are two queens who like to watch.
And today we're watching some
of the best fights from Cobra Kai.
Do you know what karate means?
No.
"Empty hand."
Really?
My dad's a karate master, like legit.
But you skimmed a little info off the top.
You skimmed it, you didn't read it.
No, I did the whole thing.
I was one step before a black belt.
That is so your vibe.
Like, committing to the point where it might mean something,
and then you're like, "Mmm..."
And then, "Peace."
Spoilers ahead.
There is karate, but there is so much more.
You know what the best thing about doing karate was?
Tell me.
Seeing adult males nude in the locker room.
The first time I walked into the locker room,
I was confronted with a hairy, adult naked male.
And I saw his (beep) and balls, right in front of me.
And I thought, "Wow."
"Oh, wow."
Was it your dad?
No.
We're starting with a flashback to the original fight
that caused all this trauma for Mr. Lawrence.
Elisabeth Shue.
She's back from the future!
Did you ever wear these outfits?
Did you wear like, the headband and like?
No headband, but we had the, it's called the gi.
"Gi."
- Ooh. - Ooh.
What if he just leaned in
and started sucking the blood out of that nose?
He's conflicted, he's like, "I know I shouldn't do it,
but I'm trying to win."
Why you gotta blow up my spot?
I've got Johnny Lawrence coming up,
he's had a terrible day,
but he steps in to defend his new neighbor, Miguel.
Wait a minute,
this is the real actor from the original program.
It's brute time.
Do straight people act like this?
Hey, watch your car, man.
Explains why he smells like (beep).
"That's why he smells like (beep)."
Is he about to whoop their asses?
He starts with a kick.
Wait a minute.
Is this a show about an adult whooping the asses of kids?
Because I am so here for this.
You're like.
The next person who's like, you're in a shopping mall
and someone goes like, "Queer,"
imagine if you just got to turn and go,
"Not on my watch," and then, "wh-pshh."
"Who, who, psh!"
What's the matter, having trouble breathing?
Ooh, ooh.
This is fierce.
I love fighting.
He said (beep) them kids.
Would that be you if you got attacked?
Do you have like, sleeper soldier karate?
I think so.
I mean, I think I have arthritis though.
I'm old.
Well, did you see him, his first kick?
He was like, "Ow, ow."
Yeah, it'd take me a couple to get warmed up,
and then I think I'd get the fire of the devil in my eyes.
I'm so into that.
(Beep) everyone.
If I knew karate, I'd be in prison.
'Cause I'd have killed about 15 people with this foot.
Face me, bow.
All right, so up next we got Aisha,
who's joining because she's been bullied a lot.
But, does she have what it takes to whoop ass?
Face each other.
We should start all of our recordings that way.
Yes, we should, yes, bowing, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, Aisha, are you okay?
What?
So she could have just broken a bunch of his ribs.
She said, "I'm about to snap your (beep)ing vertebrae."
You know that billboard with a big ass (beep) on it?
Coming up, we're gonna see Miguel kicking some ass
in the cafeteria.
Why don't you shut the hell up
and stop being such an (beep)hole.
Ooh.
You want another beat down, Rio?
It's Cobra Kai.
Oh, my God.
Whoop ass.
I should have learned karate.
Drag is so stupid and this is so cool.
The way I would waste people left and right for no reason.
Then you'd just be antagonizing people,
innocent people.
I would be in federal prison
for killing people.
With style.
Nobody kicks anybody.
Oh yes, they do.
Look at the material.
Ooh, I love the tray, the tray work.
I don't condone violence.
I would love to see a really good fight in real life.
Oh, bitch, I'll be on a table
screaming "WorldStar," louder than you've ever heard.
Have you ever seen a real fight in school?
It's a lot of t-shirt pulling.
It's a lot of laying down.
It's so messy.
People go to the ground instantly,
and they're just grabbing, grabbing.
I would like to hit people, but not get hit.
Is there a version of karate that's that?
Karate.
That's right, right?
This is it.
We got Johnny's son against Miguel,
which is Johnny's like, star student.
Fight.
Do they ever just like,
like land a little slap?
Slap.
Yeah, is it ever like, "huh, huh, huh, woosh?"
Or like a?
Cobra Kai, Cobra Kai!
This is continuing the rivalry for a next season.
So, we're going into season two,
and we've got a little sensei fight brewing.
Ooh, look at that wall.
"Strike first, strike hard, no mercy."
That's me trying to pick up guys.
Still got that hot temper, huh?
That's the guy that trained him.
Yeah.
Oh, ooh, his gum fell out.
Into the trash.
Oh, fire. It was a cigar.
It was a lit cigar.
Oh, that was crazy.
Things are about to get a little wet up in there.
Coming up, Tory with a "y."
She can sure kick some ass.
The nerve of being someone who says, "It's Tory...
with a y."
Game on.
Oh (beep).
Whoa.
Face grab.
He just got the biggest (beep) from that.
Fellas, is it gay to let a girl
beat the (beep) out of you?
Fighting in the sand is a whole 'nother animal.
Okay, so Robby knows his little friends are doing crimes,
but Danny is intervening 'cause he's got the moves.
Oh my God, fierce.
Is old guys beating up kids kinda hot?
Absolutely.
It is a little.
(Beep) them kids.
I have to say, I know it doesn't matter,
but both these men
look great for their age,
- Yeah. - 'cause they were
in those movies in the (beep)ing 80s.
They look great.
Well, their training is paying off
because they get to show their stuff
in a wonderful mall fight.
Oh, my God.
There's not a lot of mall security at this mall.
No.
What?
He like, swatted him out of the way.
Yes.
Okay, so this is a scene where one of these actors
is one of the original Cobra Kai boys
from the original film.
And, in real life the actor had cancer
and he's eulogized here by joining the cast.
Isn't it great?
You could suck my (beep).
Oh.
♪ This is the fight song ♪
They're just fighting the whole bar, huh?
They're just like, "Anybody else?"
"Here's a drink, sis."
Ooh, he's still got it with the ladies.
This is a very violent town.
Yeah, big time attitude problems.
Is anybody safe?
Do you have to learn karate to survive?
A lot of tough personalities where these kids live.
Samantha LaRusso.
So, big finish here.
The battle royale at the high school.
I'm coming for you, bitch.
Oh yes, intercom.
High school on TV is crazy.
"I've got you this time, bitch."
There was no chance you could ever
have gotten even close to the intercom.
This is high stakes.
This is drama.
My dumbass would have been National Honor Society,
like, "There's no running."
Oh, my God.
Get back in there.
Oh, they pushed her back in.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God, even the nerds are going ham.
Why is everyone fighting?
Oh, you want some of this.
Aisha said, "No, ma'am."
This is so wild.
Where are the teachers?
This is fierce.
You have to appreciate how long it must've taken them
to choreograph all this.
I did a fight scene in Hurricane Bianca.
It was the funnest thing I ever did.
Well to be fair, it wasn't in the script.
You just started hitting people.
You want to talk pent up aggression.
You wanna feel this?
Through the glass case, please.
Yes.
Is that the only way you know how to fight, dirty?
There are no rules.
Oh, (beep).
Someone's gonna die.
All these kids are going to jail after this.
I know.
Oh, God, damnit.
Oh, finally the police came.
Now a police officer?
Bitch, Cobra Kai is fabulous.
You wanna talk drama?
You wanna talk relationship,
not even triangles.
Parallelograms?
Squares.
Straight people are wildin' out.
So, this is season three now, brand new.
Miguel is in his coma.
Guess what he's dreaming about?
Hot pockets.
Yeah.
It's karate time.
Whoa.
It was two weeks ago today at West Valley High,
where what can only be described
as an all-out karate riot
caught students and faculty off guard.
"Caught the student and faculty off guard?"
Mama, the faculty was not there.
So we have our friend, Mr. Lawrence,
his star student is now paralyzed and he's spiraling.
He's back into drinking.
He's back into bar fighting because he blames himself.
Because guess what, Mary, it is your fault.
You can't arm these irascible youths
with the power of karate.
I don't even think we should let them raise their arm.
They should all be duct taped.
Yeah.
What are you doin'?
So, Robby, ever since he threw Miguel off the balcony,
he's on the move, he's on the make, he's on the lamb,
which brings these two sworn enemies
together to look for him.
Don't you think it's a little homoerotic,
their relationship?
Oh no, it's definitely homoerotic.
Leaving already?
Oh boy, a bunch of garage ruffians.
And then we'll be on our way.
On your way to call the cops.
This whole town is crazy.
"Hey, should we go to Yogurt Stop?"
"You really thought you'd just walk in here, huh?"
Like, anything is a possible fight.
Turn around, everybody's like whipping chains.
What were they, did you see that?
He's really going to the dark side.
- Where is he? - I swear.
Stop it, all right.
Oh, my God, now they're fighting each other?
You're letting the little squirrely guy get away.
This is insane.
I should have known better than to team up
with a lunatic like you.
- That is us. - Oh, yeah.
Kudos to everyone in this town, by the way,
for just surviving this long.
Do you know what I like about this show though?
What?
It's written like a video game.
Yeah, that's true.
It's high drama story that connects these like, fights.
All right, so the kids are trying to raise money
for Miguel's surgery
to see if they can get him to walk again.
Meanwhile, Robby, he's in juvie,
and they're trying to fight him.
But guess what?
She came to slay.
Thinking maybe she'd be drinking that dark roast next.
Ooh, okay, let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
What I can't take is human flavors.
I can't take reducing people's skin tones
to the Starbucks menu.
Best case scenario, someone's (beep) tastes like soap.
So back in Okinawa, Daniel is greeted with an old rival.
She looks (beep)ing beautiful.
Wow, this show really is digging deep and I love it.
Somebody called all these actors
and said, 'Would you come back and do a Netflix series
playing your original characters this many years later?"
And they said, "Abso(beeping)lutely I will."
You cross bridge, I kill her.
We fight to death.
Live or die, man?
- Die. - Oh, no.
You cannot tell me that he still has this grudge.
I bet they'll hug it out.
They're gonna hug it.
Are they friends, please be friends.
Oh, a bow.
He looks so young for 50.
He looks great.
You must kill.
Okay, so he teaches Daniel some things
that Miyagi never taught him.
Drag family, this is their drag family.
The only way to survive, is to kill.
Oh, come on.
I just feel like they should invest
in some better coping skills.
Yeah, you know what they need to learn to do?
Some "I statements."
"I feel disappointed when you say this.
It feels like you're not listening to me."
"Well, I understand that."
Oh, my God.
Okay, so we're back in the juvie detention center,
and he's about to show them what.
And then a parallel fight scene going on
in a laser shop between Cobra Kai and Miyagi.
Do it, finish him.
"Finish him"?
Damn it.
It's almost like violence isn't the answer.
Perhaps all this violence
isn't the right way to solve anything.
And I'm not just mad at the character.
I have a hard time sometimes in films
not having residual feelings
about what the person's character did.
Like, if I ever run into people in real life
who played villains,
I'd be like, "That was not cool what you did."
"Anthony Hopkins, you really shouldn't have
ripped that guy's face off and put it on your own
in that ambulance."
"You should not have eaten that liver with a nice chianti."
So, the kids are trying to work together,
but of course, Cobra Kai shows up
and there is an indoor Christmas brawl, bitch.
In case you haven't realized by now, Cobra Kai's,
they're all about chaos, madness, drama, confusion.
Where you gonna go, LaRusso?
Is that a nunchuck?
Haya.
Oh, my God.
- Whoa. - Kill her.
Miguel is thriving.
Miguel said, "You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna immediately start fighting again.
Because what's the worst that could happen?"
Not Cerese, he doesn't give a sh*t about you.
Do I sense a change of heart?
Oh, Hawk is good now.
I want Hawk to get a good person haircut though.
Flying kick please, please.
"I'm one of you now."
Ooh, the back to back teamin' up, that's nice.
These are high schoolers.
Do you know what I was doing in high school?
Learning the clarinet.
I was smoking weed like a regular kid.
Now this is what we've all been waiting for.
Yeah, they're joining up to together
fight Cobra Kai.
They really went in on the music and I love it.
♪ Hold On ♪
Let's begin.
- Ah. - Bitch.
Cliffhanger.
Cobra Kai is lit.
How do they shoot all this?
How do they do this?
They must be so tired at the end of the day.
After sitting on a couch for three hours,
I'm like ready for bed.
I can't imagine what this is like.
Well, this show has everything.
Chopping.
Kicking, nunchucks.
- Flipping. - Generations long beefs.
Toxic masculinity, juvie,
really well-preserved men from the 80s.
Maybe I could throw you into a glass coffee table.
Please.
If you guys would like to see her throw me
through a glass coffee table, comment below.
So be sure to check out Cobra Kai season three on Netflix.