- Field trips, doctors appointments,
or just a busy household.
How do you get lessons done in the morning?
Let's talk about it.
(cheerful music)
Welcome to the Simply Charlotte Mason podcast.
I'm Sonya Shafer and my friend and coworker, Laura Pitney,
is with me again today for another
your questions answered episode.
Now here's the question that we want to discuss today.
"I would love to see some ideas
"of how to practically get lessons done in the morning,
"especially when you have a busy household.
"It seems like our school day drags on
"due to unproductive mornings.
"Also, it seems like a lot of outings,
"field trips, check-ups, et cetera,
"are done in the mornings partly because of timing
"and because of littles napping after lunch.
"I'd love to hear your thoughts
"on addressing all of those not-so-normal days."
- Those are hard (chuckling).
- Yes, yes. - They're hard.
- Thoughts?
- Well, when I listen to that question,
I feel like there's two questions in there,
two parts to that question.
The part it addressed, just having a busy household
and unproductive mornings.
And then the second part being
all these unscheduled or unpredictable or
I don't know what the right word is.
- Outside activities. - Influences, yeah.
That tend to interrupt maybe what you had planned.
So when I think of unproductive mornings,
the first thing I think of is
okay, that means somebody's sick
or something has gone wrong
that has completely interrupted our morning.
But I don't think that's what she was talking about.
I think she was kind of implying that
we just have a busy house and we have a lot to do
and how do I get it all done
to where I don't feel like I'm wasting the day.
- I get the impression she has a lot of children.
- That's kind of, definitely, definitely,
that's what I was thinking.
- There's a lot of plates to spin in that situation.
- For sure.
And, again, I feel like it's one of those things we know
but it's a whole different ballgame when we have to do it.
And it starts with us
and planning ahead and having a plan.
And I understand that when you have a busy household
with lots of kids, lots of adventures happen
(giggling)
right before you're ready to start school or right after.
So my first thing I would say maybe to check
is to make sure you do have a plan
or some kind of school schedule.
And if you have a busy household, utilize those children.
So if it's family time, I have assigned seats.
It alleviates arguing.
Everybody knows where to sit.
We don't have to debate.
Whether it's at our school table or the kitchen table
or the living room, they just know where to go.
So it alleviates that arguing and debating
or she sat by you yesterday,
it's my turn to sit by mommy.
- Which saves precious moments.
- Oh, for sure, and my sanity.
For sure. (giggling)
- Putting on that referee shirt takes a lot of time.
- For sure, so I think having the plan.
Scheduling is important.
So when I say to utilize the children you have,
there's certain subjects, obviously,
that you can do together as a family.
So if you have a toddler underfoot,
meaning maybe a two-year-old,
and then you have a four-year-old
that's not in school age but they wanna tag along,
maybe have them sit with certain other siblings
during the family read-aloud
or maybe give them a blanket on the floor
for the little ones underfoot,
where they can play with something quietly
or look at a book quietly
but they're not allowed to get off the quilt
and the big kids have their assigned seats on the couch.
- Let me touch on that for a moment.
That's something you'd have to practice
with that little one.
- Yes, blanket one.
It's a beautiful thing.
- Yes, blanket training is what I think of it as,
where you practice having this child play on the blanket.
And, if I can just elaborate for a minute,
in case you're wondering,
I would start it with mom on the blanket
and just have them play for just a couple of minutes
and then do that for a few days,
until the child gets the hang of it,
that he's expected to stay on the blanket.
And then maybe there's special toys he's playing with
and maybe you're gonna start then
weaning your presence away
but you're not gonna leave the room.
Maybe you're just going to sit a couple of feet away
and you see how this works?
You just gradually work up to
you're sitting on the couch, he's on the blanket,
and then as he gets used to it,
you're going to increase the time limit
just a little bit more,
til we get to what you're talking about.
- And that's a great idea.
It's so important to teach your little ones boundaries
and as they earn your trust
and gain that responsibility,
then you can widen their boundaries, so to speak.
So the blanket might end up just being
the living room floor, that kind of thing.
So boundaries with little ones are important.
One thing that has helped me,
especially having school-aged kids
and un-school-aged kids, (chuckling)
under-school-aged kids--
- Under-school-aged, yeah, there you go.
- Was I had stations all through my house
and so, again, it was training them outside of school hours
but applying that training during school hours.
So we had a kitchen toy section
to where I would say okay, I'm gonna sit down
and do a reading lesson with my older one.
Okay, you may go have kitchen toy time.
And so they could only go play
in that designated corner with the kitchen toys.
And then I may so, okay, you did a great job.
Now I'm gonna do a math lesson
and you can go have book time on your bed.
So it was almost like a rotation
of one-on-one time with me as mommy, as teacher,
but I knew where the other kids were
and what they were doing.
So think about your house.
Think about certain toys or blocks or magnets
that are safe for that aged kid,
that you can specifically say go do this
while I have one-on-one time with this kid.
So scheduling, utilizing the kids you have,
stations in your house.
It's just taking a step back,
using what you have.
Use the older children
to have some time with the younger ones.
Obviously, they have school responsibilities as well
so that doesn't always work.
So utilize your children that you have.
Utilize your home, the spaces in your home.
Be organized with your toys
so that it's not a free for all.
It's let me get this special thing down
that you can have school time with
or a high chair at the school table with some manipulatives
while you do some kind of copy work
or a lesson with the kid.
I think that's, to me, the biggest thing I see
when somebody asks me I have a crazy morning schedule
and there's always interruptions.
Another thought is to have certain spines in your day.
So let's say we start out right after breakfast
and everything goes out the door.
It's just crazy.
And I'm like this last hour was a complete waste,
just because of all the interruptions and the craziness.
10:00 snack rolls around.
Reset.
We made it to snack.
That last hour was not successful.
Let's make sure everybody's fed
and nourished so that they're at least not grumpy
because of that reason. (chuckling)
And then it's like a reset.
So then you have snack time til lunch
and new start, best effort during that time block.
- So you're not writing off the whole morning as a waste.
- Correct, so a mental reset for you
to make it to those, I guess, time blocks, so to speak.
Some minds work that way,
where they like the time blocks, if that makes sense.
That's beneficial for me, to know that
if it was a wash, I'm gonna reset
and get on the train again, (chuckling)
despite what had happened.
- Those are great ideas.
- First things that come to my mind.
- Yeah, those are great ideas.
I would also encourage, as you said, having a plan.
I think it helps a lot
if I just take 10 or 15 minutes the night before
and go over the plan in my head
and make sure I have what I need
so it's not like oh, hang on just a minute,
I have to go get such and such.
And when you come back, (explosion sound) they've scattered.
Yeah, forget it.
- And that definitely applies, I think, with the older kids
because if you have older kids
that really do work independently on a lot of their things,
they may have a question or two.
So if they can ask you the question
the day before or the night before
about their lesson the next day,
that'll alleviate some of the questions
they may have to interrupt you for
when you're working with the younger ones.
- And that's gonna help them set up that habit
of looking ahead.
Good idea, great idea.
- I have implemented that this year
to where I feel like my older kids,
okay, what do you need from me to be ready for tomorrow?
And that has helped so much
because otherwise, they're asking questions
when I'm trying to work with the younger ones.
- Do you have them ask you about,
do you ask that of them right before bed
or at the end of schoolwork?
When do you usually touch base like that?
- I usually have at least about 30 minutes
with my older kids in the afternoons
for anything I need to go over with them,
anything they need to discuss with me,
and any prep work we need to do for the next day.
So I have that time scheduled before I say
school day is over
because as soon as I say school day is over, it is over.
(laughing) I'm not going back.
- Nice, nice.
- I just know that of myself,
that I'm not disciplined enough to do at bedtime
'cause I just wanna go to bed. (chuckling)
- And that works well for you.
That's great.
Okay, let's address the other part of it then.
What about all of these outside activities?
I don't want to just say activities
'cause, y'know, doctors appointments
are not something you just usually say
hey, let's go do that.
How do we balance those outside activities
plus she's got littles who need a nap in the afternoons.
Any thoughts on that?
- A couple things come to mind.
I feel like at some point as a homeschool mom,
there's this mental switch that has to go on,
that schooling your children is your job.
Sometimes that happens right away.
Sometimes it happens later.
I feel like mine's kinda happened this year
just because of having the older kids
and realizing the workload that they carry.
- And you've been doing this for how long?
- About eight years now.
(chuckling)
So at whatever point that happens,
when your mind switches to this is my job,
I have to do this whole heartedly to invest in my children,
it helps you really guard your hours at home.
And so for a while, what I did was
any outside activities had to happen on Fridays
or a Tuesday.
Doctor's appointments or anything I had to
voluntarily sign up for or commit to,
outside of, say, piano lessons or ballet or sports,
I'm just saying like doctor's appointments
or visits with an elderly lady at our church,
I would purposely say okay,
Friday's are my scheduling day.
I will save all those appointments
and try to get all those appointments
on a specific day of the week.
That way only one day is interrupted
versus sprinkled on the other days.
- And even if there's just one little appointment,
it still derails the whole morning.
- For sure, for sure.
And I have a friend who
she will not commit to anything before 12.
And so that is her way of keeping herself disciplined
and I think that works well for her.
Now the problem is babies that nap.
- I was gonna say, does your friend have babies?
- She doesn't now but she used to
and that's the hardest thing to figure out
and I wish I had better advice,
other than maybe limiting your outside activities
to where right now, this season of life,
I have a baby that naps from one to four or one to three.
Oh, that'd be glorious if it was one to four.
(laughing) Oh, wow.
- Come and nap, babies.
- It'd be a vacation.
(laughing)
So you know, whatever the afternoon looks like.
So maybe instead of having a whole lot of things,
maybe say only two mornings we're gonna be
outside the home or one morning.
So give yourself a limit that you try your best to stick to
and, of course, there's exceptions.
I think giving yourself permission to say no
or meet certain parameters, that's okay.
I think we have to do that.
We have to guard our family time
and guard our school time.
For some of us, we never grow out of the babies napping
'cause we have lots of children.
But for a while, I feel like
if you can just set some rules
and try your best to sit with them or stick with them
or say you'll do it after nap time
or see if grandma can come one day a week
and sit during nap time.
- Or if grandma isn't near, maybe a lady in your church
or some other person, a friend.
- A mother's helper?
- Maybe you can trade off with the friend.
I did that when my kids were little.
I would watch her kids on certain days
so she could have some time to run errands
and then she would watch my kids.
Something like that but it all takes planning ahead.
- It does and that's the hard part is it falls back on us.
I feel like some moms are better planners
and it comes naturally to them
and it's easy for them to plan and schedule.
And then other moms, it's a struggle
where they have these visions of things
they want to accomplish or want to do
but they just don't know where to get started.
I think the focus needs to be what's best for your children,
what's best for you, and
figure out what needs to be on the table
and then decide what doesn't need to be there,
at least til you get comfortable with that
and then you can start adding stuff.
But I think it's a constant juggling act
and you may have your act together this month
and next month it looks totally different
'cause something changed, so I just think,
like you said, it's just being conscious
of scheduling and planning and
setting rules for yourself and for your family
and trying your best to stick with that.
- I think simplifying is a huge help.
We don't realize how busy we really are.
I think the tricky thing is that
all of these other things that are wanting our attention,
that want to get on our calendar
are not bad in and of themselves.
- Most of the time they're not.
- They're good things.
The point is we have to recognize
when we've crossed that line into overload,
where we can no longer do what our first purpose,
our first calling is, which is
making sure that the kids are
getting their schoolwork at home.
- A quick thought about that is a lot of times,
we don't see that in ourself.
We don't see when we are maxed out or we've overcommitted
and so asking your spouse
to kind of keep a check on you about your mental state.
(laughing)
And our appearance says a lot.
If you're frazzled and haven't taken a shower for a week,
there might be some unbalance, right?
- Might be out of balance.
- Or asking a good friend.
I feel like the lord has blessed me to have
good friends around me that encourage me
but also point out some things
like Laura, you're overcommitting.
I feel like you're losing it.
You need to take a step back.
It's hard to hear but it's what I need
and I'm thankful for that.
So I would encourage this mom
and whatever other moms might be in this situation
to ask their spouse, ask some friends, ask their mom.
A lot of times, your mom still know what's going on.
Find that close person in your life
to maybe help you stay accountable to your overload
'cause we can't function well if we're overloaded.
- Yeah and we can plan all we want to
but if we're overloaded,
those plans are going to just go crazy
more often than not anyway.
- We're not giving our children our best.
- And that's the key.
Showing them, modeling for them
what a balanced life looks like.
- And it's okay to say no.
I just said that out loud.
It's okay to say no.
- I'll remind you of that.
I had one mom who said this year, I've made a switch.
It's not just it's okay to say no.
I'm gonna look at any outside opportunity
and if it's not a resounding yes, an enthusiastic yes,
then it's gonna be an automatic no.
'Cause so many times, we look at it,
and it's like I could.
It's not a bad thing so yeah, let's add that.
And that's the steps to overload.
So it doesn't matter what time of the school year
you decide to simplify and make these choices.
You are not handcuffed.
I mean yes, maybe you paid a deposit
but don't let that handcuff you
or if you think it's important
to follow through on your commitments
that you've already made, think ahead now.
Remember how this feels and think ahead toward next year.
What is it you want your homeschool to look like?
And you can arrange your life so it does look like that.
But you have to make those decisions and do it on purpose.
- Yes, that's the key.
- It's not gonna just happen.
- It's always changing all the time
so I think to be purposeful is the key to that.
- Now it's your turn.
Do you have any ideas that could help a busy household
have a smooth morning of lessons?
Or what about those not-so-normal days?
How can we help curb those outside activities
that are always calling to us,
always wanting to get on our schedules?
Leave a comment and share your idea.
We'd love to hear from you.
And if you have a question that you'd like us to discuss,
put that in the comments, too.
Let's get your questions answered.
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