>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. GIVE IT UP ONE MORE TIME FOR
THAT BAND RIGHT THERE. ANDY ON THE BASS, KILLING IT.
(APPLAUSE) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OH, Y'ALL
ARE IN-- Y'ALL ARE IN FOR A CHRISTMAS TREAT BECAUSE
>> Stephen: MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A FIVE-TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNER,
AND THE BEST-SELLING FEMALE ARTIST OF ALL TIME, WITH MORE
THAN 200 MILLION RECORDS SOLD WORLDWIDE.
HERE TO TAKE THE "COLBERT QUESTIONERT," PLEASE WELCOME
BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," MARIAH CAREY!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). ♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL.
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN.
♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
LOVELY. >> DO I SIT, DO I STAND.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. >> Stephen: THE QUEEN SITS.
>> OKAY. >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: HOW DELIGHTFUL,
HOW LOVELY TO HAVE YOU HERE IN PERSON.
>> WELL, THANK YOU. >> Stephen: WE HAD TALKED
BEFORE IN DECEMBER OF 2020 TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW YORK TIMES
NUMBER ONE BEST SELLING BOOK, THE MEANING OF MARIAH CAREY,
STILL AVAILABLE, MAKES AN INCREDIBLE CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
BUT THAT WAS OVER ZOOM BECAUSE WE NEVER GOT TO ACTUALLY BE
TOGETHER. HOW LOVELY TO SENSE YOUR
PRESENCE. >> WELL, THANK YOU FOR GRACING
ME WITH YOUR PRESENCE. >> Stephen: THANK YOU.
>> NO, REALLY, REALLY. I WAS, THAT WAS 2020, AND IT WAS
SO AWKWARD BECAUSE EVERYBODY, NOBODY WAS IN STUDIO SO IT WAS
LIKE-- . >> Stephen: WE WERE AT HOME.
>> NO, IT WAS LIKE-- AND THEN IT WAS LIKE-- AND I-- SERIOUSLY AND
YOU'RE LIKE OKAY, DID HE JUST ASK ME THAT, OR-- SO I DIDN'T,
FEEL THE ACTUAL VIBE. BECAUSE HAVE I TO TELL YOU THAT
I HAVE A VERY, VERY GOOD FRIEND, STEPHEN ISRAEL, HE LOVES YOU.
HE IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN. SO CAN YOU SAY I HAD TOKER.
>> Stephen: HEY ELLE. >> SHALL OMZ.
>> Stephen: HERE IS THE NICE THING, NOW THAT I GOT YOU HERE
IN PERSON, FIRST OF ALL IT IS EASY TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE IN
PERSON THAN IT IS OVER ZOOM FOR ONE THING BECAUSE YOU GET THE
MICRONUTRIENT OF BEING TOGETHER. IT IS HARD TO IDENTIFY WHAT IT
IS, BUT IT IS SOMETHING SPECIAL. BUT ALSO WE HAVE SO LITTLE TIME
TO TALK ON ONE OF THESE SHOWS THAT WHAT WE DID HERE AT THE
LATE SHOW IS THAT THE SCIENTISTS UP IN THE LABS UP THERE CAME UP
WITH 15 QUESTIONS THAT ARE ERGONOMICALLY DESIGNED TO BE
ABLE TO PENETRATE STRAIGHT TO THE SOUL OF SOMEONE AND REVEAL
THEM FOR WHO THEY TRULY ARE IN FRONT OF AN APPRECIATIVE CROWD.
>> THE ERGONOMICALLY DESIGNED-- GETS THE SOUL OF
THAT? >> Stephen: YES.
>> OR WOULD THAT BE TWO SEPARATE.
>> Stephen: NO, SAME THING, THE ERGONOMIC PART GOES IN AND
LIKE A PSYCHIC RIB SPREADER, CRACKS YOU OPEN TO REVEAL THE
BEATING HEART. >> MY RIBS HAVE BEEN CRACKED
OPEN BY HAVING TWINS, THAT IS ONE THING.
>> Stephen: IT IS ALL A METAPHOR.
>> I UNDERSTAND THAT. >> Stephen: OKAY.
I DIDN'T WANT TO CARE SCARE YOU. >> I HAVEN'T MET YOU BEFORE.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM LIKE IT IS VERY
SIMPLE. WHAT I WOULD LIKE, WOULD YOU BE
WILLING TO TAKE THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
>> I'M READY. I ACTUALLY-- IS THAT GOOD?
HI GUYS. LOVING, LOVING, LOVING.
NO, SO I WAS ASKED IF I WANTED TO TAKE A-- PEEK BUT I DIDN'T
BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER BE SURPRISED.
I WILL JUST SAY, CAN I JUST SAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING
TO ASK ME. BUT I'M JUST GOING TO WING T
DARLING, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
>> Stephen: NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
ARE YOU MARIAH CAREY. >> YEAH, YEAH.
I MEAN EVEN IF IT COMES OUT HOWEVER IT COMES OUT, JUST
PLEASE DEAL WITH ME. DEAL WITH ME.
I CAN ONLY BE ME. >> Stephen: SINCE YOU ARE YOU,
YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CHRISTMAS, I'VE GOT A COUPLE.
>> FIRST OF ALL, MAY I SAY, I NEVER CALLED MYSELF THE QUEEN OF
CHRISTMAS. CAN WE PLEASE BE CLEAR ON THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT, I NEVER ACCUSED YOU OF THAT.
>> YOU DID NOT, NO, YOU DID NOT, MY FRIEND.
BUT OTHERS HAVE SELF-PROCLAIMED QUEEN OF CHRISTMAS.
REALLY, I'M GOING TO DO THAT? THEY CAN LOOK UP EVERY INTERVIEW
I'VE EVER DONE, AND NOT TO GET SUPERRELIGIOUS, BUT IF ANYBODY
WOULD BE THE QUEEN OF CHRISTMAS THAT WAS MARY.
AND THEN SOMEBODY ELSE, USES MY QUOTE AGAINST ME, CHRISTMAS IS
FOR ALL. AND I JUST HAPPEN TO ACTUALLY
REALLY LOVE CHRISTMAS, BECAUSE I GREW UP AND HAD KIND EVER A
TOUGH CHILDHOOD AND I ALWAYS WANTED CHRISTMAS TO BE PERFECT.
AND IT NEVER WAS. SO WHEN I WAS ABLE TO FINALLY
PROVIDE MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND THEN LATER, NOW MY KIDS WHO
ARE 11, HEY, WE HAVE THE MOST SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EVER.
BUT IT COMES FROM THE WHOLE THING OF, IT STEMS FROM LIKE HOW
DO YOU LIKE-- WHY IS IT LIKE THAT, BECAUSE IT IS ACTUALLY
AUTHENTIC AND IT CAME FROM A PLACE OF LONGING TO HAVE SOME
NORMALCY AND SOME, YOU KNOW, PEACE AND JUST LIKE A LOVELY
HOLIDAY. AND SHOW, SOMEONE WOULD BE
THROWING MUSTARD AT SOMEBODY ELSE OR KETCHUP, OR WHATEVER.
SO I WENT THROUGH THAT AND NOW IT'S JUST, I WAIT ALL YEAR LONG.
SO IT IS ACTUALLY A REAL THING. SO EDIT IT HOW YOU WILL.
BUT ST. >> Stephen: A LOT OF WORDS.
>> ONE THING EVERYBODY SHOULD BE AWARE OF.
>> Stephen: YES. >> THE ARTIST ACTUALLY MAY, I AM
THE WRITER OF, WE MAKE ON SCREEN ONE 16th OF A PENNY ON EVERY
STREAM. >> LITERALLY ONE-- 16th.
>> Stephen: IT IS HALF A PENNY.
>> SO NOT EVEN A H HAYPENNY, YOU HAVEN'T A PENNY, A HAYPENNY WILL
DO. SO I CAN'T DOT MATH, GET THE
SCIENTOLOGISTS, SCIENTISTS. >> Jon: OR THE SCIENTOLOGIST.
>> NOBODY KNOWS BETTER THAN ME, ALL I KNOW IS WE ONLY MAKE
1/16th BUT STILL WE'RE THANKFUL FOR ALL OF IT.
>> Stephen: TOM CRUISE DOES HIS OWN MATH.
>> DOES HE REALLY? I FAILED REMED YAL MATH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU REALLY. >> YEAH, I DID.
I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT. >> Stephen: YEAH.
>> I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES THAT I DIDN'T.
I DON'T KNOW IF I DID. BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE BECAUSE
I WAS 14 AND SINGING. >> Stephen: IT ALL WORKED OUT.
>> RIGHT, I DID THE BEST I COULD.
>> Stephen: AS FAR AS CAN I TELL, NUMBER ONE, DEFINITELY
HARDEST OF ALL TIME. >> YOU'RE DOCK ALL RIGHT.
>> Stephen: YAIRKS I ONLY HAVE TWO GRAMMYS.
SO HERE, WE'LL START OFF WITH A COUPLE OF CHRISTMAS QUESTIONS IF
YU DON'T MIND. MARIAH CAREY, WHITE LIGHTS OR
COLORED LIGHTS AT CHRISTMAS? >> I'M GOING TO SAY IS THAT
POLITICALLY CORRECT IN THE WAY THAT YOU SAID THAT?
(LAUGHTER). >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, I
DON'T KNOW. >> I'M GOING TO-- AS A BIRACIAL,
BLACK AND BIS RACIAL MIX, BLACK, IRISH-- BLACK IRISH LIQUOR.
>> Jon: SUR YOUR LICK CERTIFICATE CALLED BLACK IRISH.
>> I REWORKED IT. >> Stephen: ARE YOU BLACK
IRISH. >> MY MOTHER IS-- IT WAS EASIER
FOR THEM TO PUT ME IN A BOX BUT I'M BLACK IRISH BUT REALLY THE
DEFINITION IS LIKE A DARKER HAIRED IRISH PERSON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BLACK IRISH.
>> OKAY SO NOW I'M BLACK IRISH. AND THAT IS WHAT ST, AND IT IS
TASTES REALLY GOOD. ESPECIALLY THE HOLIDAYS WHERE
YOU CAN PUT IT OVER ICE AS WELL. >> Stephen: HOT COCO OR
EGGNOG. >> HOT COCO WITH A SPLASH OF
BLACK IRISH, Y'ALL, I'M FOR REAL, I'M NOT EVEN TRYING.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T HELP T YOU JUST WORK IT.
>> BUT I REALLY, REALLY SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT SOME FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: TREE TOPPER, ANGEL OR STAR.
>> BOTH. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FIT
THEM BOTH UP THERE. >> BECAUSE HAVE I FOUR TREES IN
MY HOUSE, WHAT DO YOU WANT. >> Stephen: HOW EARLY YOU CAN
START LISTENING TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC, VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION.
>> SUPERIMPORTANT. >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU KNOW
THE FIRST SONG EVERY STORE PUTS ON.
>> I CANNOT, YOU KNOW WHAT IS INTERESTING, I WROTE THAT SONG.
I DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE TIME SO I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY, I WAS IN THE
W-O-M-B-O PRIOR TO WHEN I WROTE T TECHNICALLY, CUZ IT CAME OUT
IN THE 90 ITSEE, I'VE BEEN-- SO I WROTE T I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT
WOULD LAST AND DO WHAT IT HAS DONE FOR ME, BUT NOW I'M NOT
REALLY IN STORES EXCEPT WHEN I GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WHICH IS
THE ONLY TIME I GO SHOPPING AND IN THE STORES I GO TO, I'M GOING
TO BUY PEOPLE THAT WANT DESIGNER GIFTS FROM ME, THEY EXPECT ME TO
GO WHERENEVER AND GET T SO THEY ARE PLAYING COOL MUSIC IT IS NOT
REALLY THE CHRISTMAS DIDDIES, SO I NEVER GET TO HEAR IT OUT IN
THE STORES. AND MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE I JUST
HAD YOU ON. -- AND I'M JUST LIKE OH, OKAY.
I WILL LISTEN AT HOME. HAVE I MY OWN CHRISTMAS PLAY
LIST THAT I LISTEN TO. >> Stephen: WHAT IS THE TOP
YIS MASS. >> NAT KING COLE.
>> Stephen: THE CHRISTMAS SONG.
>> JOHNNY HATHAWAY AND NAT. >> Stephen: WE WILL HOLD IT
THERE FOR JUST ONE SECOND. AND WHEN WE COME BACK MARIAH
CAREY WILL COMPLETE THE COLBERT QUESTION ERT.