I’m Richard Hammond and I’m 50 this year.
There you go. I said it.
And yes, I am having a midlife crisis.
But I’m not ashamed of that.
In fact I’m celebrating it.
I’ve already covered off all the usual cliches:
fast cars, fast bikes, that sort of stuff,
in fact there was only one thing left
One giant treat-to-self
to mark the passing of a middle aged milestone.
And it’s this…
my midlife crisis pick-up truck.
But this isn’t any old pick-up truck.
It’s a Ford Ranger Raptor,
and it’s built using technology from off-road racing trucks.
So it’s got vented discs all round,
and four, yes four, off-road tow hooks.
This is a very serious bit of kit.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
Look at that idiot, he’s basically bought a racing truck.
A racing truck he can’t even use in real life.
But not so.
You see, crisis or not, I am a family man
and this is a brilliant family car,
as I shall now demonstrate by taking
my teenage daughters on a trip to the shops…
Hello girls.
Yeah,
road trip!
Hello daddy!
Yes we love you very much.
Right everybody seatbelts on.
Excellent.
You see, I have been grown up here because
my midlife-crisis pickup truck is also
a perfect family car. It’s got everything you need.
And, although it’s got a 213 horsepower twin turbo engine,
it also meets Euro 6.2 which means
it’s kinder to the environment.
And we all know how much teenagers
care about the environment.
Don’t you girls?
Yep.
Alright girls, I'll see you in half an hour.
They love me.
SNAP!
You’re having a midlife crisis.
I’m not!
Dearest
darling
how
do I love you?
Too much.
YOU’RE BACK?!
And who’s paying for all that?
It’s, it’s me isn’t it.
Get in.
Right, seatbelts on please.
What’s that?
Organic smoothie?
Yep, of course it is.
Right, let’s get home.
Another thing that means my truck is a sensible family car
is it’s got stability control with roll mitigation.
In case you’re one of those dads with a reputation for, you know,
sometimes getting into a spot of bother in a car.
It’s also got something called load adaptive control
which means the stability systems actually take...
Right, enough of that.
Girls, I’m just going to take a little shortcut…
That okay?
Good.
We're there in no time girls.
Why didn’t you let me teach you to drive?
Oh wait a minute,
I’ve done this bit wrong.
Don’t worry hill start assist, watch this.
Well what do you think of that?
And we are home.
Come on Girls how much do you love daddy?
You can say.
Yeah let’s not, let’s not tell your mother about that.