In this video, we're going to be covering five ways to know that your ex is not over
you. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not. Because
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beliefs and myths that a lot of people have about breakups and getting back together with
your ex, such as the no contact rule. Anyway you can find out more about that newsletter
down below in the description box for this video.
But with that being said, let's go ahead and get into this here. Okay. So the first way
that you can know that your ex is not over you is if they seem jealous or troubled if
you seem to be doing things romantically with someone else. Whether that's dating someone
else, whether that is flirting with someone else, whether that is expressing interest
in someone else. Although with this whole situation that we're going through right now
in the world, I don't know how much of that you'll be doing. But still, if you start to
talk about how attracted you are to someone else, then that definitely can be a sign that
your ex is not over you, if they start to get defensive or seem to get upset by the
fact that you might be into someone else.
Number two is if they openly talk about being romantic or interested or attracted in you.
Now, if your ex is openly talking about, "Hey, I am attracted you. Hey, I'm interested in
you," that's obviously a sign that they're very much into you and it means that they're
obviously not over you. If they were over you, they wouldn't really be romantically
interested in you. If they were really over you, they wouldn't be openly broadcasting
these signs of romantic or attraction intent towards you. And so that is, I mean, obviously
a very, very, very clear cut sign that they're not over you.
Now number three. This one gets a little bit complicated, so bear with me. But if your
ex is in a rebound relationship and they are with somebody who is either very, very similar
to you or the exact polar opposite of you, obviously they're not over you. Now we have
a whole series on rebound relationships. I'll go ahead and put a video card for that series
up there. But in that series, one of the things that we talk about is the fact that a rebound
relationship is characterized by someone not being over their previous relationship. And
one way that you can really tell that is if the rebound relationship is not just within
a short period of time after the breakup, but it's with someone who is either very similar
to the previous relationship or someone who's very opposite to that previous relationship.
What's happening here is that your ex is trying to recreate the same emotional dynamic with
someone else. And so they might be trying to recreate the same emotional dynamic with
someone who's very similar to you, in which case they're trying to recreate the same relationship
but with someone else, which is like a totally strange thing. I mean, this is kind of what
happened with me and my ex when she was kind of in a rebound relationship. I mean, it's
really weird because they're kind of in a relationship with you, but not with you. They're
emotionally in the relationship with you, but they're in a relationship with someone
else and it's a really strange dynamic, really, really.
When it comes to the whole polar opposite side of the spectrum, that's more like the
rebound relationship is a reaction to the relationship that they had with you. And in
that respect, it's still a relationship that's based on the relationship they had with you,
but it's more like, okay, now we've done that, I'm fed up or frustrated or that didn't work
for whatever reason. Let me just do the exact opposite of the spectrum. And they're not
choosing the opposite of the spectrum because it's something that they intentionally want.
They're choosing the opposite side of the spectrum because it's just the opposite of
you.
And in that regard, you're still at the center of that relationship. It's just that you're
not in the relationship. The relationship is emotionally based on you, but it's with
someone else. Again, totally weird dynamic. But again, that is also something that we
cover in that series on rebound relationships.
The fourth way that you can know if your ex is not over you is if they find excuses to
contact you or spend time with you outside of practical reasons. Yeah, maybe the two
of you shared an apartment together or something like that and you need to talk about the logistics
of, okay, how do we get our security deposit back or whatever. That's totally one thing.
Or yeah, maybe you have kids together and you need to organize the childcare and relate
to all that stuff. That is absolutely a practical reason.
But if they are in contact with you outside of practical reasons, like they're just calling
to talk, they're just calling to catch up with you, they're just calling to see how
you're doing, that shows that they're not over you. That shows that they are still emotionally
invested in what's happening with you and in their connection with you. That just shows
that, Hey, they're still emotionally entwined in that relationship with you. The two of
you are still emotionally kind of tangled up together, and they're still looking to
you emotionally for some sort of response, some sort of reaction, some sort of support,
some sort of connection of some kind. And that of course is definitely not a sign that
they're over you in any way. They're obviously not over you if they're doing that.
And the fifth sign is that they treat you like more than just a friend. Now this is
a little bit difficult to wrap your mind around. So let me explain it to you this way. Let's
hypothetically pretend that you are in a relationship with someone else, and let's hypothetically
pretend that your ex is in a relationship with someone else. Now would these two imaginary
people that you are both in relationships with feel a little bit uncomfortable if you
and your ex were interacting with each other the way that you are right now? Would they
say, "Hey, I don't know how I feel about you talking to your ex as often as you do. I don't
know how I feel about your ex and you meeting up the way that you do. I don't know how I
feel about you and your ex potentially even sleeping together the way that you do."
If these hypothetical partners would feel uncomfortable by the degree of connection
that the two of you have, then you're probably beyond the friend zone there. We've talked
about the friend zone before. Not something you need to worry about. But still if your
ex and you are interacting well beyond most conventional definitions of platonic friends,
then it's a pretty good sign that they are not emotionally over you at this point in
time, okay?
So just again to sum that all up, number one they seem jealous or troubled if you express
some sort of romantic interest, dating relationship, even just like, Hey, that person is attractive.
That's number one. Number two is if they openly talk about being romantically interested or
attracted to you. Number three, if they're in a rebound but it's with someone who's either
very similar to you or the exact polar opposite of you, definitely a sign that they're not
over you. I mean, it's because of the rebound actually, but also definitely a sign of a
deeper underlying thing that they're not over you.
Number four, they find excuses to contact you or spend time with you outside of practical
reasons. It's not just about, Oh Hey, here's some bill that we used to share together.
What are we going to do about it? But it's more like, Oh Hey, how are you doing with
this whole global situation pandemic that we're in the middle of? Hey, who saw that
coming? And number five is they treat you very clearly more than a friend. Something
that would make hypothetical partners feel uncomfortable if they could see the two of
you interacting or behaving the way that you were with one another. Okay?
So once again, if you want to get on that email newsletter, I'll send you a free report
that tells you about some myths, some things that we're going to be kind of dismantling
and pulling apart, such as the no contact rule, things like that. Down in the description
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you so much for helping me. But yeah, go ahead and help support this channel if you're finding
value from it. But my name is Clay. Thank you so much for watching. If you want to learn
more about some signs that your ex wants you back, you might want to check out this video
series over here or you might also want to check out this series right here. But once
again, thank you so much. Please stay safe. Please stay healthy out there during these
totally weird, bizarre times that we're all living through, and I will talk to you later.
Take care.