- For anyone who develops depersonalization disorder,
one of the biggest questions they always have is,
how long will it last?
Hey everyone, I'm Shaun O Connor, author of
The Depersonalization Manual.
I suffered with chronic depersonalization
for two years before I recovered completely.
And in the more than 10 years since my book,
The Depersonalization Manual
has helped thousands of people around the world
to recover from DP.
And today, we're going to answer one
of the biggest questions associated
with DP once and for all.
How long does depersonalization last?
Let's get started.
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One of the scariest parts of developing depersonalization
is not just the feelings themselves,
but the worry that they might never stop,
that they'll just keep going indefinitely,
and you'll be stuck with them forever.
In fact, one of the most common experiences I hear
from DP sufferers is this:
First, they develop the symptoms of DP after say,
a bad drug experience, a panic attack,
or whatever the trigger incident was and the feelings
of disconnection, the strange thoughts, et cetera,
that come with it are really scary and confusing.
Then after weeks, or even months of research,
they eventually find out that what they're experiencing
has a name and it's called depersonalization
and they're so relieved.
But the relief doesn't last long because soon after that,
they inevitably find forum posts or web pages that say
that DP can last for years, even decades.
Personally, I had that exact same experience.
I remember sitting at my computer back in 2005 looking
at posts just like that and thinking,
I could barely manage a few weeks of this,
how can I possibly put up with it for years?
And then to confuse things further,
you'll also see stories from people who
have completely recovered after just a few days,
or weeks or months, it seems so random.
And the worry can be: "Well, what if I have the type
of DP that lasts for years or decades,
instead of weeks or months?"
Or worst of all,
"What if I have the kind that never goes away?"
Now, I know that sounds like a scary question
and it feels like there's tons
of conflicting information around it. But the answer
is actually very simple, and a lot less scary
than you might think. So let's settle this once and for all.
How long does depersonalization last?
Well, would it surprise you to know
that for the vast majority of people who experience DP,
it only lasts a couple of minutes or hours at most?
It's true!
Well, how could that be?
Well, it's estimated that up to 75% of people
will experience at least one depersonalization episode
in their lives.
Why?
Because it's part of the body
and brain's natural response to anxiety and trauma.
And for the vast majority of those people,
the DP fades away naturally in a few minutes or hours,
along with the anxiety, which, since DP is just a symptom
of anxiety, is exactly what it's supposed to do.
The only reason it sometimes lasts longer
than that and turns into depersonalization disorder,
is when the feelings of DP are focused on as being
a separate problem from the anxiety. Like worrying
that you're going crazy or that you're still high
and you can't come down, etc etc.
Then it can turn into a feedback loop
with the anxiety that's causing
it and last much longer than the initial trigger incident.
But the good news is that it doesn't matter how long you've
had it or what caused it. That's still all it is:
A temporary feedback loop between anxiety
and a symptom of anxiety.
Okay, but if it's that simple, why is it so variable?
Why do some people have depersonalization
for just a few days and others have it for years?
In fact, why in my case,
did I end up having it for two years?
Well, the fact that it's variable isn't actually unusual
at all, it's the same with any anxiety-based condition.
Let's take something like, say, agoraphobia.
So agoraphobia, just like depersonalization
is a super common anxiety-based condition.
It's temporary, it's treatable,
and people get it and recover from it all the time.
But does that mean
that everyone who develops agoraphobia
recovers super quickly?
Of course not.
There are tons of people out there on forums,
social media groups, et cetera,
who have had agoraphobia for years.
Why?
Because there's so many different factors involved.
Maybe they didn't understand what the condition
was at first, maybe they found it hard to describe,
maybe it went undiagnosed or even misdiagnosed for years,
maybe they've inadvertently built up habits
that have prolonged the condition,
like researching it all the time or avoiding places
or situations that might cause them to feel anxious.
There are tons of different variables involved,
and every person's case is different.
But that doesn't mean that there are different types
of agoraphobia that lasts longer than others.
Of course not!
All it means is that some people experience it for longer
than others. Which, when you think
about it, isn't even that strange!
It's also very important to remember
that if you're on forums, you're much more likely
to encounter posts from people who have had DP for years,
rather than from all the people who have recovered.
Why is this?
Well, if you speak to any anxiety specialist,
one of the first things they'll say to you
is to stop researching the condition
and stay away from forums.
Why?
Well, one of the main reasons the feelings persist
is because just like with any intrusive thought,
you're constantly checking in on the feelings
and causing the feedback loop to continue.
And if you're spending your days on forums and DP groups,
constantly discussing it, comparing symptoms etc,
you're not giving yourself the chance to focus away
from the feelings and allow it to fade away naturally which,
again, is what it's supposed to do.
So where are all the people who have recovered?
Well, they're not on DP forums anymore.
Why?
Because they've understood, inadvertently or otherwise,
just how counterproductive it is to research
and discuss it all the time.
They're not on forums anymore
because they're too busy living their lives.
To put it simply, people who have recovered from anxiety
and DP are not sitting around discussing
and posting online about anxiety and DP.
Now, if you've been on forums,
and you've been researching and discussing the condition,
there's no judgment here.
I did exactly the same thing every day for well over a year
and a half, wondering why I wasn't making progress.
I completely understand the urge to discuss
the condition endlessly looking for new tips and tricks,
etc, because it seems like a good thing to do, right?
But again, one of the first things you need
to do with any anxiety-based condition
is to stop obsessively researching it.
And just a quick side note, I'm not saying
that the forums and groups are inherently bad, not at all.
I did initially find some great information
there and I even made some good friends too!
But the problem arises when you
have that initial information which is really all you need
but you still go back to the forums day after day,
talking about the condition, and constantly looking
for more info, tips and tricks --
which is exactly what I was doing, along with many,
many other habits and behaviors
that I should have been avoiding.
So when I say that I had depersonalization disorder
for two years, what I'm actually saying is this:
I developed DP, and then for about a year
and nine or 10 months, I did all the wrong things.
Constant research being just one of them,
which caused the thoughts to persist every day.
It was only when I stopped doing those things,
and started consistently doing the right things
that I started to see positive results,
and my recovery began and it was actually relatively quick.
I didn't randomly get a type of depersonalization
that lasts for two years, and then have to wait
for it to run its course,
I got the same depersonalization disorder
that everyone else does and just like everyone else,
I had it only until I did the right things to recover.
So when you see different people who have had to DP
for two weeks or two years, that doesn't mean
that there are different types of DP that lasts
for different lengths of time. In the same way
that there aren't different types of agoraphobia,
or any other anxiety-based condition
that last longer than others.
It's always the same harmless, temporary,
treatable condition.
All that's happening is that the person
has depersonalization until either deliberately
or inadvertently, they stop doing the wrong things
that caused it to persist for as long as it did,
and start doing the right things
for their recovery. That's all!
And I know, there's probably a part of you that's thinking,
"Okay, Shaun, yeah, that all makes sense,
that all sounds reasonable but... I don't know.
My story is a little different.
What happened to me was really bad.
What if I do have a version of DP that's different?
What if I have a version of DP that you can't recover from?
What if I have Depersonalization 2.0" or,
and this is something that I actually thought,
"What if there's an incurable version of DP
that will be named after me?"
So, I know thoughts like that can be scary
but here's the thing.
Literally, everybody who
has ever had depersonalization disorder
or any anxiety-based condition,
has had that exact same thought.
I have personally spoken to thousands
of DP sufferers over the years,
and it's probably the single
most common worry across the board.
Even when you know what the condition is,
even when you know it's not permanent, you still think:
"Yeah, but what if it's permanent for me?"
That's called catastrophizing.
It's jumping to the worst possible conclusion in spite
of all of the evidence to the contrary
and it's a frustrating,
but natural part of having any anxiety-based condition.
Nobody ever got a diagnosis of something very treatable,
like, say, social anxiety disorder and thought,
"Oh! So that's what it is. I guess I'll be fine."
Of course not.
Instead, they're thinking: "Yeah,
but what if I have an incurable version
of social anxiety disorder?
What if I'm the first person who can't get better?"
This is important: Those scary catastrophic fears
are not objective thoughts about the condition.
They ARE the condition.
If you have a thought that says something like,
"What if I never recover
from this temporary anxiety-based condition?"
That's not an objective for about the anxiety.
It IS the anxiety. It's racing thoughts,
and it's catastrophizing. And I know
they can be frustrating but those thoughts,
just like all the other intrusive, scary thoughts
and feelings will fade away and stop completely
as you recover from DP,
which is just another temporary anxiety-based condition.
Because despite all the confusion
that sometimes surrounds depersonalization,
that's all it is: A temporary anxiety-based condition.
It's super common, it can't hurt you
and like all temporary conditions,
it will fade away and stop completely.
So the question is: How long does depersonalization last?
And the answer is: Only until your recovery starts!
If you have any comments or questions, please leave them
in the comment section below
and I'll make sure to answer and help you out.
And one last thing, if you want tons more information
on depersonalization recovery, check out my website
at dpmanual.com where you will find everything you need
to know including my complete guide to recovery,
The Depersonalization Manual.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
and if you found this video helpful,
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Thanks for watching!
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