I don't want to do this video. Oh, fine. I'll do the video on how to stop being
stubborn.
Either you're here because you're having some challenges with stubbornness. Like I
did as I was starting this video. Or maybe somebody referred you to come here.
Either way, I think it's helpful to start with the root cause of stubbornness. What
causes stubbornness. I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it's pride.
And I don't mean a healthy sense of who you are. I'm talking about
destructive pride. Where you know that you're right. Yeah. And check it out. It's
not that we think we're right. No. We're going to a whole different level. We know
we're right. And because of that, we get stuck. We're stubborn. We don't want to
move from that position of being right. Let me tell a story to illustrate what I
mean. This is personal. Because yes, I know that
I'm right too. A friend of mine, Dr. Cameron Mosher had suggested that I attend his
course. It's a ropes course. It's a skill-building course. I had been
avoiding Dr. Cam for years because his website is Iwalkedonfire.com. Come on!
I know about fire. Don't you? I'm not going to walk on fire. That's craziness. Well,
Cam told me, "Paul, this is going to be a powerful experience for you got to come
do the course." Well, because of a lot of circumstances in my life, I actually went
to his fire walk. Now, think about this for a minute: I'm sitting in the group
signing a waiver. I signed the waiver, people. What is wrong
with me, right? I say the waiver. Right? Now, the reason I ended up
there in the first place is because of circumstances in my own life that had
gotten a little out of control. Can you relate to this? And I talk about this in
my book. In the first chapter of my book, it's called lightning strikes. Which by
the way I'd be happy to send you a free copy. You just cover the shipping. Go down
to the description you'll see a link. In the book, I talked about this experience
which had left me at one of the lowest places in my entire life. And I didn't
know what to do to get out of it. Well, that's why I showed up at Cam's course. I
finally realized "You know what? Maybe I'm not right about everything.
Maybe I don't know everything." But I was still struggling with this fire walk
idea. I know about fire. I was a boy scout when I was younger. I can start a fire
with 2 sticks. And I know that it'll burn you. I know this because of my
experience with fire. Well, you know this too, right? I show up at the fire work. I
sign the waiver. I'm like, "Why do we have to sign the waiver?" He's like, "It's fire.
We can't take that kind of liability on." This is weird, right? To make a longer
story shorter, I found myself preparing with the other people in that group to
actually walk on burning coals in my bare feet. Cam had told me, "You know what,
Paul? You can welcome burning coals in your bare feet. And your feet remain in
perfect condition." And my crap meters going off. You know the one that probably
went off in your head too. About "No, this is impossible." Right? And I knew I was
right about that. Whoa! Check it out. How many times had I walked on fire at that
point? Zero. It's kind of proud of that number. How many times had Cam walked on
fire? Probably hundreds. I think he had taken like 20,000 people through his
course at that point. Whose right? Me? Or Cam? But it was my destructive pride
that had me stubbornly clinging to what I
knew was right. As opposed to being open. I wish I could just take you there and
show you on the camera Dr. Paul walking on fire. I walked that fire 3 times
that night. 3 times I crossed that fire. Because after I did it the first
time I'm like, "No way. That didn't just happen." See, I still know that I'm right.
Even in the face of overwhelming evidence that I wasn't. I walked it 3
times. You know what went through my mind as soon as I crossed that fire? What else?
What else do I know for sure that I'm dead wrong about? What else is getting in
my way? Or making me stubbornly stay right where I am because I know that I'm
right instead of getting past that. Being open
to new possibilities. You know what? I even kept some of the coals from that
fire. I keep this little jar on my desk. It's got some of the coals from that
very fire that I walked on. And it's a reminder to me that I need to give up my
need to be right in exchange for being open. How powerful is that?
So, here's what I learned from my fire walk experience. First of all, I'm not
right about everything. And I think that's probably the key.
Being stubborn it's when we hang on to being right. I would much rather now give
up my need to be right in exchange for being open. Open to possibilities. Open to
new things. Did you know that better is always different?
If you stubbornly hang on to what it is, you never get to have an upgrade. Better
is always different by definition. Let's give up our need to be right. And give up
that stubbornness so that we can create new possibilities for ourselves and for
everybody around us. I'm glad I have some personal experience to share
with you. Sometimes, we need to know how to deal with a stubborn child. I did
another video on that one. Cue it up next. How to deal with a stubborn child. Just
link to it right up there and I'll see you tomorrow.