The US warns China will pay a price for harming Taiwan
China profits from US sanctions on Russia
And China finally promises to end forced labor.
That and more on this week’s China News Headlines.
Welcome to China Uncensored.
I’m Shelley Zhang, filling in for Chris Chappell, who’s catching up on his Harry
Potter fanfic.
The Chinese Communist Party had a hissy fit last week—when a bipartisan group of US
officials visited Taiwan.
They also met with Taiwan’s President Tsai Ing-wen.
One of the senators on the trip, Republican Lindsay Graham, warned that China will now
pay a bigger price for bullying Taiwan.
In particular, Senator Graham said the US would make sure the Chinese regime will pay
a price for supporting Putin’s war in Ukraine, and for their cyberattacks on Taiwan.
Beijing had warned the US delegation not to visit Taiwan, because it doesn’t want any
country to recognize Taiwan in any way.
It’s kind of like in middle school when your friend Ashley broke up with Mike S. and
then refused to let anyone mention his name.
It’s fine when you’re 12.
It’s stupid when you’re a country.
Senator Bob Menendez, a Democrat and the head of the US Senate Foreign Relations Committee,
said China’s reaction “won’t dissuade us in the future in supporting Taiwan.”
So how did China respond to the US saying it would pay a price for bullying Taiwan?
By bullying Taiwan.
In response to what it called “wrong signals” sent by the US, China’s People’s Liberation
Army conducted air and naval training close to the island.
Those drills included maneuvers by navy ships, bombers and fighter planes.So is a Chinese
invasion of Taiwan imminent?
Well, if you had been watching Taiwanese TV channel CTS this week, you might be forgiven
for thinking it already happened.
The partly state-owned CTS accidentally aired a false report of a Chinese invasion.
On Wednesday at about 7 am, it showed a news ticker reading “New Taipei City was hit
by communist missiles, the Taipei port has exploded, facilities and ships were damaged
and destroyed.”
Uhhhh….what?
The mistake happened because CTS had been preparing alerts for Taiwan’s annual disaster
response drills coming up on May 5.
Imminent potential disasters for Taiwan include:
earthquakes,
tsunamis,
and invasions by aggressive neighbors pointing 1,500 missiles at it.
In response to the mistake that alarmed the island's entire population, the Taiwanese
news channel issued a public apology.
Which is more than you’d ever get from a mainland Chinese news channel—which would
have just blamed America.
In other US-China news, US Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin spoke for the first time with
his counterpart, China’s Minister of National Defense, General Wei Fenghe .
Judging by the Pentagon’s readout of the meeting, which was two sentences long, it
did not go well.
The Pentagon said the two discussed “U.S.-PRC defense relations, regional security issues,
and Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine.”
Meanwhile, according to the Chinese side, General Wei told Secretary Austin that Taiwan
is part of China.
Which of course he did, because Chinese officials always say that.
It’s like Chinese officials need to start every meeting by saying the sky is green.
And then the Chinese Communist Party tried to make it sound like America agrees with
them.
By saying that the US adheres to China’s one-China principle.
That’s the idea that Taiwan is part of China and belongs to it.
The problem is, the US does not adhere to the one-China principle.
The US has its own one-China policy.
The US policy acknowledges that China thinks Taiwan belongs to it.
It doesn’t agree with it.
So it’s like China is saying, the sky is green.
And the US says, yeah we know you think the sky is green.
And then China says, see?!!
The US says the sky is green!!
Speaking of totally reasonable takes on America, Chinese state-run media The Global Times has
accused the US of being the “‘Voldemort’ of global order”.
That’s some real “how do you do, fellow kids” energy.
It’s like the Global Times was suddenly like, hey have you heard of this Harry Potter
thing?
That is a topical reference.
Anyway, it’s a terrible comparison because the Chinese Communist Party doesn’t see
America as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
If anything, it’s He-Who-Must-Always-Be-Blamed.
But let’s humor the Global Times.
How is America like Voldemort, a Dark Lord destroying international order?
Let’s look at this very clear photo illustration.
I see…the Sorting Hat, a flying car, a terrified cat, and ballet slippers.
Yes, it’s totally clear.
Ok, I read the article, so you didn’t have to.
According to the Global Times, America is Voldemort because: it sanctions other countries.
Yeah, that’s it.
Poor, innocent countries like Russia.
And Iran, Syria, Cuba, and North Korea.
Honestly, it was kind of disappointing.
No Death Eaters, no Muggle killings…it’s like the Global Times didn’t even read the
books.
Wait a minute…what if the Global Times read a Harry Potter fanfiction where Voldemort
gained power by sanctioning other wizards…and they thought it was the real book?
Chris can relate.
More after the break.
Welcome back.
The Western world has put sanctions on Russia for its invasion of Ukraine.
According to the Chinese regime, that makes them literally Voldemort.
But guess who’s profiting from those sanctions?
Obviously, I’m going to say China.
This is China Uncensored.
China’s alumina exports to Russia have soared by more than 9,000 percent from March last
year.
Alumina is a compound made from aluminum—a metal that’s critical for making armor,
ammunition, and keeping your food from smelling up the fridge.
Part of the reason China’s alumina exports surged is that Russia has a hard time getting
it from anywhere else.
Another part of the reason is that China’s alumina exports to Russia were not very big
before.
China has also increased its exports of tin and nickel pig iron to Russia.
And while it’s still yet to be seen whether Russia or Ukraine will win their conflict,
one thing’s for sure: China is coming out on top.
Meanwhile, China’s censors are having a hard time lately with the Shanghai lockdown.
People are fed up with censorship, and they’re fighting back.
So, China had to censor the lyrics to its own national anthem.
You see, the first line of China’s national anthem is “arise, ye who refuse to be slaves.”
And on Chinese social media, people were using it as a hashtag to protest the Shanghai lockdown.
Which meant that the hashtag got censored.
Censoring citizens who are quoting their own national anthem is a pretty incredible self-own.
In a long-awaited agreement that only the most corrupt people wanted, China has signed
a security deal with the Solomon Islands.
The Solomon Islands are here, in the South Pacific near Australia.
Prime Minister Manasseh Sogavare—shown here in Beijing in 2019—is...well, there’s
no nice way to say this...corrupt.
He’s corrupt, and wants Chinese money.
He used a Chinese slush fund to keep himself in power after big protests there last November,
where people were chanting for him to step down.
Now he also wants Chinese military support to help keep himself in power.
That’s what the security deal is about for him.
But for China, the security deal is about having the Chinese military in a strategic
place in the South Pacific...NEAR AUSTRALIA.
Solomon Islands opposition leader Matthew Wale told the Washington Post, “I think
this is the beginning of something more serious to come in this region.”
Like, perhaps...a Chinese military base?
China has signed two international treaties against forced labor.
Which is nice, but not as nice as if China actually stopped using forced labor.
The Chinese Communist Party has been using forced labor since ancient times.
From forced collective farming in the 1950s...
...to forced collective manufacturing for Uyghur ethnic minorities today.
Do you really think the Chinese Communist Party is going to finally stop using forced
labor now, just because they signed a couple of treaties?
Remember when they promised not to militarize disputed islands in the South China Sea?
Or that time they promised not to conduct cybertheft of intellectual property?
Or that time they promised not to interfere with how Hong Kong was governed?
Well, those were all lies.
Which is to say, statistically speaking, they’re obviously due for a truth now.
Of course, we here at China Uncensored fully expect China to break its promise.
Which is why we’re still selling this in our China Uncensored merchandise store: I
turned a blind eye to ethnic cleansing in China and all I got was this slightly cheaper
t-shirt.
Link is below.
And finally, on a lighter note, here’s a video released this week by state-run China
Daily.
Look there is an eagle flying to Ukraine Look now it is approaching to Taiwan
The eagle now is snickering Playing as a guardian
Spoiling Peace Worldwide It’s the US
If you want peace then you say it now If you want peace then you say it now
For the planet to have tomorrow Please eliminate the sorrow
Tell Uncle Sam to go home Tell him now!
While the Chinese Communist Party may often seem scary and authoritarian, it’s nice
to know they can also sometimes just be stupid.
And before I go, I’d like to remind you that we now have China Uncensored merchandise,
including this: “I turned a blind eye to ethnic cleansing in China, and all I got was
this slightly cheaper t-shirt” t-shirt.
It’s not actually made in China, of course.
We also have several other great designs, including our most popular one, Xi Jinping
the Pooh.
It’s what got us kicked off of Teespring.
You can also buy one of our cool made-in-America mugs.
Check it out at ChinaUncensored.tv/merchandise.
The link is below.
Buy one for yourself, and dozens more for all your friends.
Once again, I’m Shelley Zhang, filling in this week until Chris gets back.
Thanks for watching China Uncensored.