thank you to Experian for sponsoring
today's video the first time I
encountered a front of me I was in
gymnastics class and seven years old hi
I'm Anna Kay Wow I'm Anna k2 yeah you're
right you are second place freeze frame
on my chubby cheek that face I had no
idea what had just happened to me not
only had the other Anna case
single-handedly backhanded me in the
face with her words but she also somehow
cemented herself as the Alpha in our
newly formed fragile friendship
essentially making her my very first
frenemy and for the next 23 years as I
have traversed across the world immersed
in different cultures and countries I
have encountered various kinds of
frenemies and they always boil down to
four distinct types one the control in
front of me this person gets mad when
you make plans that don't include them
dictates what you both should do without
taking your opinion into account and
overall tries to be the boss you know
you're dealing with one because you will
feel exhausted from constantly being
controlled the best way to flip this
front of me into a friend is to speak up
and don't back down about your own needs
to the jealous friend of me this person
cannot celebrate your success without
tearing you down there's always conflict
between you if you're the one who's
succeeding in any aspect of your life
and they often come with passive
aggression and negativity with them you
feel insecure like your self-worth is
slowly tanking so the best way to flip
this friendship is to call them out on
their behavior and draw a boundary 3 the
competitive front of me this one is
pretty self-explanatory
I thought you a new home go got an SMS I
can lean dope without by espanol yup
well there's our English the fix for
this type of frenemy is to completely
take yourself out of the game you'll
never win so why try and finally the I
need something and that's what you're
hearing from me front of me the only
here from this person when they want
something from you whether it's to dump
their latest emotional baggage borrow a
possession that they need or use you for
a professional or personal relationship
my personal advice with these kind of
frenemies is if after an honest
conversation about the unrequited
friendship they don't value your
relationship enough to actually nurture
it during the
times when they don't need something let
them go because friendship is a two-way
street and remember I do want to point
out sometimes you can be these frenemies
I have definitely been all of them
before so examine the way that you react
in your friendships and ask yourself am
i controlling jealous competitive or
only talking to people when I want
something from them if so self-awareness
is the first step to change don't be
like ana.k it's the other one not me I'm
great anyway I'm Anna Akana and though
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