- In this video I will share with you,
what is he thinking when he's ignoring you
and what you should do about it.
(gentle music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite,
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I will share with you
the five most common reasons
why men ignore you and what to do about it,
don't forget to take my free
self awareness test to find out,
are you a woman of low value or high value,
which I will drop down
in the video description box below.
And if you like my merch,
Chase Goals and Not the Drama,
as always, you can get this in my YouTube store.
So perhaps you're in a situation where before,
you he was adoring you,
telling you you're the one,
telling you how much he's into you,
pursuing you, chasing you,
going out of his way to please you,
and now you're pulling your hair out
because the reverse is happening
and he actually started to ignore you.
Let's look at the reason number one
why men start to ignore women.
Number one is actually a very high value reason,
which is boundaries.
There is a very well-known saying
that is very common nowadays,
ignore the negativity,
reward the positivity.
And this is how you train dogs,
this is how you train kids,
this is how you train men.
If your guy is into
personal growth and development,
he definitely came across
this suggestion as well.
So let me give you an example of where
he could be setting in a boundary with you.
Maybe perhaps you disrespected him
or you throwed in a tantrum,
or maybe you totally lost self control.
You behave absolutely wild,
screaming and shouting at him.
Perhaps he, in that second when it happened,
he stayed calm and collected
and he was just observing you.
However, once the date finished,
or once you guys went separate ways,
you haven't heard from him for a day or two,
and now you're feeling anxious,
you're feeling scared
and you feel like he is ignoring you.
You might even be panicking
that he's losing his feelings for you.
So this is the reasons why guys ignore a woman
by setting in boundaries.
Ladies, think about it.
If you went crazy on him
and you lost emotional control on him,
he saw that as you having a tantrum,
as you behaving a like a child
and he found it very disrespectful.
If he would have reassured you
or gave you a hug or a cuddle
after you lost this emotional control,
what he would have been doing,
he would have been rewarding your bad behavior,
your lack of self discipline
and self control
with a lot of cuddles, reassurance,
nice words and so on.
So what you would do in the future?
You would keep losing this emotional control
whenever you would feel
like you want attention,
because you would be like,
"Okay, whenever I go crazy
and I just let it all out,
he gives me all these hugs
and kisses and cuddles.
So whenever I want his attention,
I'll just throw tantrums."
This is not how mature people work, ladies.
When you throw a tantrum
and if he is mature and self-respecting guy,
he will ignore your bad behavior.
He will show that your bad behavior
was not acceptable by ignoring you,
by pulling away from you.
So you would be fearful
to repeat this behavior again,
because if you might repeat it again,
you might actually lose the guy,
because then you'll see it
as you being even more disrespectful towards him,
and he'll see you as even more unattractive.
So the intention behind this behavior is
if you feel like you lost emotional control
and now he's pulling away from you,
calm down, get yourself together,
think about why you lost emotional control
and work on these issues
so it does not happen again.
Because if you're going crazy
and you're the one who's losing emotional control,
the problem, perhaps, is in you.
Ladies, if someone is provoking you
or pointing fingers at you
or is being nasty to you,
how you respond to this,
it's still your choice.
When you master a way to respond to people
that disrespect or provoke you in the calm way,
this is when you actually end up
mastering self control and emotional control.
A tip that I could give you
to help you with that is
don't take things personally
when a man is provoking you,
when someone is disrespectful towards you,
because if someone is provoking you,
if someone is disrespectful towards you,
they are showing who they truly are.
And instead of overreacting
when someone is trying to provoke you
or disrespect you,
I would train my mind to look at this person
from the other perspective,
and instead of protecting yourself
by overreacting,
I would just simply look at them
being the red flag,
because they are the ones provoking you
and disrespecting you.
And then I would be the one
pulling away from them or ignoring them
in order to set in a boundary with them
for trying to provoke me or disrespect me.
The number two reason why men ignore women
is when they playing a game.
When they want you to chase him.
There is a lot of modern advice out there
that a man is a king and a man as a catch
and a woman should be pursuing or chasing him,
and many dating coaches for men
or pick-up artists for men
are coaching men to ignore a woman purposely
so she would chase him.
Ladies, if you feel like everything
has been going all right in your relationship
or your dating,
and there wasn't any kind of argument,
everything is just going smoothly,
now out of the blue,
he's kind of ignoring you for a few days,
he could be testing the pick-up artist advice
to see will you actually chase him
when he doesn't chase you.
So I think that every person of course
should give an a relationship.
You should text the guy first sometimes,
and yes, you perhaps should call him first
sometimes as well.
However, the man is a leader,
the man is a pursuer, the man is masculine,
he should be doing this majority of the time.
You as a female, you are a receiver,
you're not there to chase or pursue men,
therefore, you should just be reciprocating
or calling him when you actually
need something from him,
perhaps his advice or his help,
but not calling him
with the intention of pursuing him
because this turns guys off.
Ever nowadays there is this modern trend
that women should be pursuing men.
What he could be doing is
he could be pulling away from you
to see will you chase him.
So ladies, if you feel like this is the case,
don't chase him, because by chasing him,
you will be rewarding his bad behavior,
and whenever he will feel
like he wants you to chase him,
all he'll have to do is just ignore you
by pulling away.
Number three reason why men ignore women,
he could just be testing you.
He could just be testing you to see
what will be your reaction.
Will you chase and pursue?
Will you pull away as well?
Will you nag?
Will you complain?
Will you call?
Will you give him lots of attention?
Will your vulnerabilities and insecurities
and feelings start to show?
So a lot of times a guy might ignore you
for a day or two just to see
how will you behave,
how will you react to this.
Because we actually can get to know a person
a little bit better to see
if we don't text them for a day,
what they will actually do,
how will they actually behave?
And a lot of people get very, very needy
and they freak out and panic
and they call you constantly
and they try to victimize themselves,
they start to nag or complain, they get angry.
For example, some people might say like,
"Oh, you saw my message,
I can see you read my message
but you didn't respond."
Other people would be calling you out on it,
calling you rude for not reply, disrespectful.
Other people could be calling you all day long
and leaving you all these type of
crazy voice messages.
So it's actually sometimes good to take your time
and to respond a person the next day
or just really take your time at reply.
And this is what he could be doing,
he could just be taking his time to reply to you
in order to test to see how will you be behave
when you don't hear from him for a day.
He perhaps he just wants to see,
are you with type of crazy, needy girl,
or you actually have a life,
can control yourself,
and live without him for that day or two.
Number four reason why he could be ignoring you
and what to do about is he just needs some space.
So perhaps you spend a little getaway together,
where you saw each other every single day
and you were together like
three days in a row all the time,
or perhaps he was really
sweeping you off your feet and pursuing you,
what I mean,
he could just need a bit of space from you
to recharge his battery.
Ladies, if you haven't watched my video
about men's testosterone level dropping down
after he spent a lot of kind of
loving time together with a woman,
I really recommend you to watch that video,
as it will just explain why men pull away
from woman after getting close.
But the short answer is,
when a guy is really close to a woman
emotionally and physically and he's pursuing her,
and you guys are literally
like this the whole time,
a lot of times after spending
this loving time together,
a guy will need to pull away because
when a guy is really
emotionally involved with a woman,
a lot of times his testosterone drops
and when his testosterone is on a low,
he doesn't feel good.
So he needs to pull away
from that particular woman,
have his own time
and do some boyish things in the meantime
to raise his testosterone level back up.
This is why it's so important
for females to have female friends
when you girls are in a relationship or married,
and for men have guy friends
to keep their testosterone level up,
to stay happy and balanced.
Number five reason why he's ignoring you,
it could be that he's really, really,
really turned off by you,
that he has lost a lot of attraction for you.
So this usually happens
when women over pursue men.
This is why I'm just so angry
that this whole concept of women pursuing men
because what it does,
it just really turns guys off a lo,
even if it's like the hottest girl
in town is pursuing a guy,
he eventually will get turned off
because his masculine needs
will not be fulfilled.
All he's gonna get is an ego stroke
that will make him feel good,
that this hot girl is pursuing him,
but that's literally about it.
He's not gonna fall in love with her
because by pursuing a man,
you're giving him safety and security,
and safety and security
is not a guy's love need,
it's a woman's love need.
So ladies, if you are actively pursuing men,
they eventually will get turned off
and they will start to ignore you
because they lose attraction for you.
Let me give you couple of examples
that you perhaps are doing them
and you're not even aware that you're doing them.
So for example, texting a guy first,
calling a guy a lot,
looking for reasons or excuses
to get in touch with him,
purposely going to the places where he could be,
showing up at his house,
being affectionate first,
like touching a guy first
is actually pursuing him as well.
And by touching,
I don't mean like if you were a bubbly person,
that kind of touches a person here and there
when you're having a chat with them,
I mean more like going for a hug first,
asking for that kiss,
leaning for the kiss first,
this is all pursuing behavior.
Buying a guy gifts and presents,
taking him on holiday,
paying for his meal,
nurturing him, acting mother-like,
constantly giving,
going out of your way to please him,
asking him, "Are you okay,
do you need anything?"
Giving him advice
and telling him how to do things,
this is all very motherly-like,
nurturing, pursuing behavior.
Ladies, if you want a guy
to stay attracted to you,
you must not treat him
as a mother treats a child,
and you must not treat him
like a man treats a woman.
You must treat him as a woman treats a man,
not a mother a child, and not a man a woman.
So ladies, these were my five reasons
why he's ignoring you
and what you should do about it.
If you liked this video,
please press like,
let me know in the comments below
what did you think.
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games men play on women,
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And the video on Wednesday I believe
is gonna be by another high value women coach,
which is my sister, Ieva Bereisaite,
so keep an eye on it.
I'm pretty sure it's gonna be very, very good.
Thank you for watching.
Kisses from Dorset.