A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along
the way we lost that balance. So, I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching
you how to talk and how to listen. I'm gonna teach you how to interview people and that's
actually gonna help you learn how to be better conversationists. Number 1: Don't multitask.
I mean be present, don't be thinking about your argument you had with your boss, don't
be thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, if you wanna get out of the conversation,
get out of the conversation. Number 2: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion
without any opportunity for response, write a blog. You need to enter every conversation
assuming that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows
something you don't" Number 3: Use open ended questions. In this case, take a cue from Journalists-
start your questions with: Who, What, When, Where, Why, or How. If you put in a complicated
question, you're gonna get a simple answer out. If I ask you "Were you terrified?", You're
going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence which is terrified and the
answer is "Yes I was" or "No I wasn't". Try asking them things like "What was that like?"
"How did that feel?" Number 4: Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind and
you need to let them go out of your mind. We're sitting there having a conversation
with someone and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop
and we stop listening! Stories and Ideas are gonna come to you, you need to let them come
and let them go. Number 5: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Now people on the
radio, especially on NPR are much more aware that they're going on the record, and so they're
more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they know for sure. Do
that. Air on the side of caution. Number 6: Don't equate your experience with theirs.
If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time
that you lost a family member. It's not the same, it is never the same. All experiences
are individual. Number 7: Try not to repeat yourself, it's condescending and it's really
boring. And we tend to do it a lot- We have a point to make so we just keep rephrasing
it over and over... Don't do that. Number 8: Stay out of the weeds. Frankly, people
don't care about the years, the names, the dates, they don't care. Number 9: Listen.
And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone. But
if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation. Stephen Covey said it very beautifully, he
said: "Most of don't listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to
reply." One more rule and, Number 10, and it's this one: Be Brief. All of this boils
down to the same basic concept and it is this one: be interested in other people. Go out,
talk to people, listen to people and most importantly be prepared to be amazed. Thanks.